It Must Have Been Destiny - Comments

uh chapter 3 posted two times..........
good story i like it
no she not a slut...u can like other guy n have a bf as lng as ur not dating both

This is really good. I like Whestly's charater

OMG!!!!! it was AMAZING!! i absolutely love it!! i cant wait for the next chapter

Hello, I promised you a review on this story. Well, I am a woman of my word so I’m going to give you a review. I’m going to offer some constructive criticism to help your story in the creation process.

So we start with Destiny our main character and she is talking to her friend Ginger. You made an awkward mistake in the second paragraph of the first chapter:

My BFF Ginger asks me. Ginger’s name matches her name.

Do you mean hair instead of name or person? I’m confused. You need to proofread most of the chapters. You have many spelling and grammar errors; however this can easily be corrected by using a word processor such as Microsoft Word. If you do not have a word processor, I believe there are some online. Look into them and put your story through them, it will pick up errors. Having correct grammar and spelling really shows the reader that you put a lot of effort into your story.

Now the story line is moving way too fast. I do this all the time and many authors do. Don’t be afraid to stop and smell the roses. Take time with a story and treat it like a baby, raise it well…don’t rush it just to satisfy your readers. After all, you write for yourself, not for anyone else.

I think you should add more description to your story. You have some, but it’s limited. Description does not just mean describing your characters or the items have. Describe your story. Make your story sing for itself, make the words reflect the emotions running through Destiny’s head, through Ginger’s head. Make the reader feel what your characters are feeling. When I read this, I felt it was a bit dry and rushed.

You need to space out your paragraphs. It’s a wall of words and this does frustrate a lot of readers. When it comes to dialogue, you need to remember that we cannot nor hear the characters. We can imagine, but we need keywords from the authors in order to tell us how the characters are sounding and what they are doing physically.

For every effect, there is a cause and visa versa. Why is she being sent to the boarding home, not to mention, an all-boys school? Sure it will never happen in real life and as an author, you are entitled to fiction, but you need to explain why. Why an all-boys school and why?

Keep on writing and don’t ever stop. A writer keeps on writing and continues to sharpen the tools of their trade. This isn’t my genre to read; I find these types of stories very cliché. However, based on your comments, you have faithful readers. Just remember, even though it’s nice to get comments, you are not writing for them; you are writing for yourself. A friend of mine taught me this a while back when I was complaining to him about lack of comments and now I don’t forget it.

Hope I helped.

oh dear! poor erik... well at least he's not being informed of this...
I'm afraid of Whestly now... what he do?
KEEP WRITING PLEASE!!!!!

OMG! She kisses WHESTLY (sorry if I butchered that)! How could she!!!!!! wait... unless William is evil... that's good. And she needs to drop Eric already... he's probs worried sick about her.
sorry... little carried away...
Whestly scares me.
But I like him. XD
KEEP WRITING!!! PLEASE!!!

OMFG!!!!! William has a brother? Who is devious and cunning and no doubt beats people up or something and knows EVERYTHING!!! That's soooooo weird!!!! But cool. At the same time. WOOT!!!!
But I need more! Keep writing PLEASE!!!!

YEAH!!!!! lmao <3 William. Seriously. He seems to be the only one who isn't a jerk. XD But what can you expect at an all boys school? lmao.
AWESOME CHAPTER!!!! haha and Super Ponytail Dude saves the life of the solidary teenage girl once more XD.
KEEP WRITING PLEASE!!!!!!! I'm begging you here!

Ah, double post! :crazy:

"You know what? His new nickname is Super Ponytail Dude!"
:lmfao

Great start, can't wait for more!

haha OMG I LOVE Will. lmao he's just so...so... RANDOM!!!!!! but poor poor Destiny. All boys.... well if she dumps erik.... she's got quite a vast selection... but I feel bad for Erik having to deal with all this...
Why the heck did her mum send her to an all boys school anyways? Her mum is weird....
anyways, keep writing... or I'm.... I'm going to send Nightmare after you! ok that might not help but write more!!!!

yay beth luved it soo funny and sad and all that other stuff!! :)

Oooo I luv it so far =]
Update soon pls?

YAYAYAYZ! omg I love it. I can't wait till she gets there and it's all guys XD. assuming the synopsis is right XD. and awwww poor erik! (sorry if I spelt this wrong) he didn't even get a goodbye :( poor erik :(
but great job *subscribing*

Awesome! :lmfao :file: :mrgreen: :| ;) :roll: :twisted: :evil: :cry: :oops: :P :x :lol: 8) :shock: :o :( :) :D oncore~