Something Like Wintertime

Jamie and Tia climbed into the back of my car as I slid into the drivers side. Finally, Shaun was letting me drive again! I don't know how many times it had taken me to talk him into believing I was a big girl, and that I could in fact drive from point a to point b every safely, but he finally gave in and let me drive him and our friends to the air port.

The hour and fifteen minute drive was mostly silent, with few words ushered between Tia and Jame who were basically on top of one another in my back seat. Like usual, I had my Jason Mraz c.d. playing pretty loudly, loud enough to have the the bass shake the car a bit. My fists were clenched around the steering wheel until Shaun reached over and took my right hand in his.

He smiled sweetly at me, his eyes sparkling in the early morning light that was flowing into the car. I sighed, not really noticing I'd been holding in my breath. Shaun started to rub my hand as we pulled up to the air port. I looked back at Jamie and said, "Get in the front. I don't think I'm driving back."

She nodded before Shaun and I got out of the car and walked around to get his luggage. He held the white papers that were his boarding pass and such in one hand while his carry on back back hanged from his shoulders, and he pulled his suitcase up and into the first part of his departure. After he checked in and gave the attendant lady his suit case, he walked back over to me, knowing I wouldn't be able to go much father with him. These days, you had to have a boarding pass to get pas security.

"Chelsia, you know I'm going to miss you baby. Why are you crying?" he asked. I looked into the emeralds that were his eyes. I hadn't even realized I'd been crying, but now that mentioned it I could feel the wet tears trailing down my face. I also realized that my vision around Shaun's face was seriously blurry, but I was okay with that.

He quickly wiped my tears away and kissed me, then stood where he had been and waited for me to answer. "Because...what's out here for me? You're not here, and you're my everything, Shaun. I don't want you to go without me," I told him. He sighed, grabbing me hard and pulling me towards his body. I realized, once again, that he'd started crying with my flow of words.

"What's here for you is your family. I keep telling you that they'll miss you more than I ever could while we're on tour, and you know that. Sure, I've known you for almost seven amazing months, but they've known you all your life. I love you, and that's all that should count, and I'll still love you when I see you again," he said. I nodded through my tears.

"I-hiccup-I know," I tried to say. I couldn't speak-my throat had clogged up and swelled so much that I could barely breathe. I held Shaun really tight, afraid that if I let him go he'd disappear. "I-I love you, S-Shaun," I said through the pain in my throat.

Shaun took in a deep, sharp breath and stepped back enough to hungrily, passionately kiss me. I didn't want to let him go; not then, not ever. I knew that he'd force himself onto the plane and out of my arms soon enough though. "I love you too, Chelsia. I always will, so don't you ever forget that."

I nodded as he pecked my lips again before turning around and walking down the stairs to the terminals. Once I could no longer make out his red flame-like hair, I quickly turned and hurried out of the air port. I held my hands to my eyes as I ran into the backseat of the car, not wanting anyone to see that I had been crying. It's a shame that Jamie knows me too well, because she staid silent the whole way home.

I continued to cry as I watched Nevada pass me in miles, inches, and centimeters. No one said a word until I was out of the car and storming into the house. I grabbed my phone off of its charger and headed back downstairs to my car. No one asked where I was going as I slammed the door shut, tears still pouring from my eyes.

If I knew I wasn't loosing Shaun, why did I feel like I was?

A shake of my head cleared any thoughts I had as I pulled into a parking spot. The beach was pretty much deserted, a surprise for this time of day. I sighed, standing up out of the car and walking down towards the shore. I took a seat a few feet from where the water line on the sand laid, making sure I wouldn't get wet.

I knew why I felt like I was loosing Shaun then. Ever since my birthday, we'd been talking less and less, up until Christmas when I went to his house and had the best holiday ever. But between October and December, I had almost lost contact with my boyfriend, and the man I'd promised myself to.

I looked down at my promise ring, smiling through my tears at the fact that I had given my word to Shaun that no other man could have me the same why Shaun has me. There would never be another man, because Shaun had also promised the same to me. There was no reason to even consider anyone else, especially with the way I felt about Shaun. "Please, bring him back to me sooner than I think," I mumbled to whatever higher power there might be.

I closed my eyes as the sun beat down on me, staining the knees of my white pants with my make up. There was nothing I could do right that moment to get Shaun back where he belongs, right besides me. I'd just have to wait until the Skate tour we're both invited on.

I'm lucky. I'm in love with my best friend. I'm lucky to have been where I have been with him. And I'll be lucky to be coming home again to him, where we both belong. I'm lucky to be in love in every way, because I have Shaun to love and to love me.