Love Isn't Always Sweet

Ok, now I had to think about my chances of surviving this test:

If I run, I would probably end up killed. If I beg, it will be worse than running… and just stand there ISN’T an option.

…how about I avoid his attacks? Just like with the puppet.

…excepting that Hidan won’t care if he ‘accidentally’ kills me.

Oh, well. I didn’t have any other ideas, so this last one sounds pretty good.

Me: “hey, uhmm…”

Hidan: “what.”

“Can I use a sword to defend myself?”

“If you want to… yeah.”

Me: “ok… KISAMEEE-SAAAAAN!!!!” I ran towards Kisame.

He looked at me weirdly. “What.” “Give me your sword”

“I don’t want to.”

“It wasn’t a question-“

“Mine wasn’t a question either.”

“Well, you aren’t using it, so give it to me!!”

Kisame:” you don’t really need it.”

“I DO need it.”

“You don’t” “I do.” “You don’t” “I do!!”

Itachi:” shut up and give her the sword Kisame.”

Me: “see? Itachi-kun agrees with me!!”

Kisame kind of growled and then extended the sword out to me. “I ain’t responsible of any possible accidents.”

Me: “yeah, yeah, whatever. What do I do to make it go into spiky mode?”

Kisame: “it’s a secret.”

Deidara: “he runs chakra through it, un.”

Kisame glared at him. “How do you know that?!”

Pein:” it really isn’t a secret to anyone here.”

Kisame gave me his sword.

Me: “so, anyways, how do you run chakra through something…?” I said while looking at the sword.

Kisame: “don’t know, and don’t care.”

Then he pushed me out to the arena.

Hidan almost laughed at me. “Do you at least know how to handle that shit?”

Me: “do you really believe that I would’ve taken a sword without knowing how to use it?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, then….” I sweat dropped. “I guess you’re right this time.” Then he sweat dropped.

“Whatever, let’s begin.”

He started slashing his gigantic like sickle at me right after he finished his sentence.

I barely had time to get away.

“Gosh! This effing sword is fucking heavy!” I was getting slower since the sword weighted like 10 or more pounds, and that wasn’t a good thing.

I heard Kisame laugh at my misery. I turned to glare at him, and then something popped in my mind: Itachi.

While trying to avoid Hidan’s attacks, I started looking for Itachi with my eyes; if I found him, I would be able to ask him about how to survive the test, and therefore pass the test, but the problem was, that I couldn’t find him!

When I finally found him, he had his eyes closed! FUCK.

Me: “Now, what am I going to do?”

Hidan: “Surrender!” I avoided the attack.

I laughed. “No thank you.”

I continued avoiding his attacks and also trying to get Itachi to make eye contact with me.

After what seemed like hours, I saw Hidan stop. “Alright, you win.”

I was kind of surprised when he said that. “Really?”

Hidan: “yeah, yeah. Just fuck it all…”

But something told me that there was going to be something worse expecting me later.

Pein: “Alright. Next one up is Zetsu.”

Oh God.

I saw Zetsu walk down the stairs that lead to the arena. Then, when he was right in front of me, which wasn’t really nice, considering I’m kind of short, he just looked me up and down.

Me: “what. “

Zetsu: “you’ll make a great lunch.”

I widened my eyes. “WHAT?!”

“That is, unless you kill someone else for me to eat.”

Me: “so, the task is for me to kill someone…?”

Zetsu: “unless you want to be eaten.”

Me: “alright, alright. Who do I have to kill, or what?”

Zetsu: “well…right now, I’d like to dispose of an ANBU leader…”

Me: “have you gone nuts?! I CAN’T kill an ANBU!”

Zetsu: “well then, you will get eaten …” then he started approaching me.

“Alright, alright! I’ll do it!” God, that was just great.

~Fast Forward~

Turns out I really didn’t have to kill the person myself, and I just had to give the last blow.

And right now I’m going through a really serious trauma.

Me: “How can you people even THINK about killing a person like THAT!?” I said while looking away from Zetsu, he was eating.

Deidara:” That’s the point, un.”

“What point?!”

Kisame: “We DON’T think about it, we just do it.”

“Ugh, that’s even more sickening!”

Pein: “you’ll get used to it, don’t worry.”

I made a face of ‘yeah sure, WTFE!” and then turned to leave to my ‘room’.

“Where do you think you’re going? You’ve still got one test left!”

I groaned. Stupid Pein.

I turned around. “Really?”

“Yes.”

“I was being sarcastic.”

“I know.”

I walked over to him.

“So, what’s it going to be? Kill YET ANOTHER person? Eat bugs? Kill myself running? Turning Kisame into sushi? Telling Deidara he looks like a girl? Kick everyone here in the balls?”

Pein: “So many good ideas –excepting the last idea-, but…no. It’s something even funnier.”

I looked at him puzzled.

“Your next task is…”

Suddenly I heard everyone start to crack up.

Me: “what?”

Then Konan put her arms in my shoulders, facing me: “no matter what happens, you will learn to like this organization, all right?”

Me: “uhm… alright.”

Pein: “ok then: you have to start over all the other tasks, excepting mine, of course.”

Everyone looked at me expectantly.

I smiled.

“What?”

“You heard me.” I got mad.

Me: “you have got to be fucking kidding me!”

I jumped at him.

“DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH IT TOOK ME TO FINISH ALL THE TASKS?!”

He did not even move, even though I crashed on top of him and on the ground.

Konan: “Leader! Should I –“

“No, I can handle her tantrum.”

Me: “I’m going to kill you!”

Pein: “would you just at least let me finish the conditions of this last task?”

I glared at him.

“You have 2 options: you do all the tasks tomorrow right after resting; or you make half the tasks today and the rest of them tomorrow.”

“…really?”

He rolled his eyes: “no, I’m just toying with you.”

“It’s pretty believable that you’re toying with me, but I guess I’ll believe you. And I choose to do all the tasks tomorrow.”

Then with that I got off of him and walked to my room.