Never Want to Let You Go

“How about this one?” Joe asked, pulling me once again from a daze.

“Oh, that one’s great,” I replied, not even sure of what it was I was commenting on.

“What is going on with you?” He asked, his face confused. “That’s what you said about the last one hundred shirts I showed you,” he sighed before hanging the dark green garment back on the rack.

I let out a deep breath. “Sorry, I guess I’m just getting tired.”

He gave me a look, one that I was sure meant that he didn’t believe me, but that he wasn’t going to question me any further. “Alright, let’s go then.”

“Thanks,” I replied before giving him a half-smile.

--

JOE’S POV

The ride back to the hotel was utterly and awkwardly quiet. I tried to strike up a conversation, but nothing would ever develop from it.

It was weird, and Katy was acting weird. More weird than usual, at least.

Finally, thankfully, we made it back to the hotel. A few snaps by the paparazzi and we were inside and up the elevator to our floor.

The silence was almost unbearable at this point. It was just so uncomfortable.

And something inside of me told me that it had everything to do with the engagement rings we looked at.

I just couldn’t understand why. Two people who were in love getting married did not sound like a completely crazy idea to me.

But maybe I was just crazy with an idea that would only be normal to someone who was crazy?

Now I wasn’t even making sense to myself.

“Well, thanks for everything today,” Katy finally broke the record long awkward silence.

“You’re welcome,” I replied before giving her a small kiss on the lips. “Sorry it got kind of weird.”

“Nah, it’s fine,” she replied. “It wasn’t weird.”

I nodded my head in agreement. She may have not thought it was weird, but it was definitely awkward.

“I think I’m going to go take a nap,” she added while pulling out her room key.

“Yeah and I’m going to go get ready for the concert,” I replied.

“Break a leg,” she replied with a genuine smile, the first one I had seen in hours. “I love you.”

“Thanks, I love you, too,” I was able to allow a real smile to come across my face.

It was our first unawkward moment in hours. I was going to enjoy it.

--

“Hey Rita,” I noticed her as we were backstage about to go on. “I want to talk to you about something.”

“What’s up?” She replied, an intrigued look on her face.

“Do you know what’s going on with Katy?” I asked, wondering if Katy had consulted her best friend yet.

“What do you mean?” She asked, her eyes bearing confusion. “Did something happen?”

“She hasn’t talked to you about it?” I asked, slightly shocked that Katy hadn’t told her.

It had been a few hours since we had gotten back from the mall. I was certain she had consulted her best friend about it.

“Talked to me about what?”

“Joseph, we’re on in two,” Kevin hollered, giving me a death glare. He would murder me if I wasn’t ready to go on stage asap.

I looked at Rita quickly, her eyes pleading to know what had happened.

I glanced back at Kevin before looking back at her. Words started pouring out of my mouth, “while we were at the mall today we went to a jewelry store and ended up looking at engagement rings and now she’s acting all weird.”

“What?” She exclaimed. “Why were you guys looking at engagement rings?”

“Joe!” Now it was Nick’s turn to yell.

“One second!” I growled before turning to them. “We were just looking at the jewelry and stumbled across them and she tried a ring on-“

“What!” Rita shouted. “She tried one on? Are you crazy?”

“I don’t know,” I replied, crestfallen. That was not the reaction I was hoping for. “After that, she started acting different.”

“Well, of course she would act different!” She replied enthusiastically.

“Wh-“ I began to ask before I felt Nick and Kevin come up behind me and begin to drag me to the stage.

Rita just stood there, half shocked, half understanding.

All that I knew was that I had to wait another two hours before finding out what could possibly be wrong with Katy.

--

Rita.

That was my only focus once we finished our encore and were back behind the stage.

I didn’t waste time hugging the guys, or congratulating them on another good show.

I needed to find Rita.

I found her backstage in one of the dressing rooms with Frankie. They both gave me a look when I entered the room.

“So what’s going on?” I asked, beyond ready for an answer.

Rita exhaled. “Of course Katy is going to be scared out of her mind if you looked at engagement rings with her.”

Frankie shook his head enthusiastically, like he totally understood what was going on.

“What do you mean of course?” I asked.

“Look Joe, it is nothing against you or anything, but marriage kind of means failure to Katy, in a way,” she began her explanation.

“Huh?” I questioned, encouraging her to continue.

“Her parent’s divorced when she was young. Her father remarried, but then divorced again after only one year. Her grandparents are divorced, on both sides,” she elaborated. “I think she may have one set of aunt and uncles that are still married, but she doesn’t even like them.”

A silence fell over the room as the words sunk in.

“So what Rita is trying to say,” Frankie began. “You and Katy are going good. You’re happy and in love. Adding marriage to the equation pretty much means your relationship is doomed for failure.”

“But we’ve talked about marriage before, we’ve talked about kids,” I rebutted; I just wasn’t getting the big deal. “Why would that make any difference?”

“But the ring made it more real,” Rita replied. “Before it was all just talk, but after looking at rings, it makes marriage an actual possibility and not just a fantasy.”

I took a deep breath before taking a seat on a stool right beside me.

Holy shit.

I did not even know what to think.