Killing Jar

I woke up suddenly, feeling a bit disoriented. Why I had woken up so suddenly, was a mystery--

My thought was interrupted by a knocking on my apartment door. Well, that explains why I woke up so suddenly. I looked at the alarm clock on my bed side table. It was 5 p.m. I sat up, and as the cooler air hit my exposed skin, I remembered that I was naked. Then I remembered why I was naked. I looked beside me and saw that Ryan was no longer in my bed.

I heard the knocking on my apartment door again, reminding me that I needed to answer it. Ryan walked in the room suddenly, wearing only his boxers and carrying a pile of clothes. He tossed them on my bed.

"Get dressed," he said, his voice sounding urgent. The knocking sounded again and Ryan looked nervous.

"Do you know who's at the door?" I asked.

"I think it's Brendon," he said.

"Shit!" I said jumping out of bed and grabbing some clothes. "He said he was going to come over."

"What do you want me to do?" Ryan asked.

"Just stay in here," I said as I slipped my shirt over my head. I ran my fingers through my hair. "Do I look normal?"

"Yeah," Ryan said.

"Ok," I said. I head out of my bedroom. "Just stay in here."

I ran to the door and opened it just as Brendon was going to start a fresh round of knocking.

"Sorry," I said, smiling at him. "I was sleeping and it took me a few minutes to figure out what was going on."

"It's ok," Brendon said, smiling back. His smile sent a wave of guilt over me. He was so unsuspecting. Unaware that Ryan and I had just had sex and that Ryan was still in my bedroom.

Brendon leaned forward kissing me softly.

"You're so cute," Brendon said after he pulled away. I let him inside my apartment. Brendon walked over to my couch and sat down. I followed and sat next to him. "So, how are you feeling?"

"Better," I said. "I'm just kind of tired now."

"Oh," Brendon said. He wrapped an arm around my shoulder and pulled me to him. I rested my head on his shoulder. "I'm sorry for waking you."

"It's ok," I said, smiling. Brendon was really comfortable and warm. Wait. Don't get comfortable. I need to stay awake. Ryan was still here and I didn't want Brendon to find him.

"Do you want me to leave?" Brendon asked. "So that you can sleep."

"You don't have to," I said, when honestly I would prefer that he did. It was just to risky with Ryan in my bedroom, probably still wearing only his boxers.

"I think I'll leave," Brendon said. "You look really tired."

"Thank you," I said smiling up at him. He leaned forward to kiss me.

"Have I mentioned that you're incredibly cute?" Brendon asked, smiling at me.

"Yes you have," I said. Brendon stood up, removing me from him. I felt cold all of a sudden.

I followed Brendon to my apartment door. He opened it and turned back to me. He leaned forward and kissed me again.

"Good night," Brendon said quietly.

"Night," I said. Brendon went out into the hallway and I closed the door, smiling at him one more time.

Once the door was closed, I sighed in relief. I locked my apartment door and headed to my bed room. I found Ryan laying on my bed (still in his boxers), staring up at the ceiling. He looked at me as I entered the room.

"That was quick," he said.

"Yeah," I said. "I'm kind of glad though. I was getting nervous."

Ryan returned to staring at the ceiling. I crawled into my bed and laid on my side, looking at Ryan. Ryan turned onto his side after a minute to look back at me.

"What are you thinking about?" Ryan asked, looking into my eyes.

"Us," I said. "I know this just started today...but, I don't know. It's weird. It feels right. I feel guilty for doing this to Brendon...but it just feels right. Like it's supposed to be. But it's not."

"Why not?" Ryan asked.

"It's complicated," I said, thinking of what I was supposed to do to Ryan in about 2 weeks.

"You can tell me," Ryan said.

"Actually, I can't," I said. Ryan nodded his head. "Sorry."

"It's ok," he said. I moved closer to Ryan, wrapping an arm around him. Ryan did the same, an arm making it's way around my waist, pulling each other closer together. I kissed Ryan. This was wrong. But it really did feel right. Like this was how things were supposed to be.