Loners

Gerard’s pov (excited much?)

Frank was back so of course I was ecstatic. I loved just looking at him and listening to him talk. Which is so fucking sad and I know that but he’s just so amazing. After all the shit his father did to him he’s still this adorable happy person and I look up to him for that.

So we were all sitting on Alicia’s bed and Frank comes running into the room and jumps on us all. I thought it was cute.

So his happy little self was going on and on about how the cops creep him out and they need to look happier.

“Yeah the cop and Alicia’s dad were looking at me weird like the whole time. I think it was the house. It’s a shit-hole and I know that but I’m not sure if that’s why. And I still don’t really understand. Like I thought I was supposed to listen to what my dad told me. I thought he was trying to make me worth something.” Mikey, Alicia, and I all had a sad look on our faces.

“Frankie he wasn’t helping you. He was abusing you. What he was doing was not making you a better person.” Alicia told him in a gentle motherly tone.

“What? No he was disciplining me and making me better. He was teaching me right?” He asked frantically, fear in his voice and his eyes welled up with tears.

“Frankie come here.” I said holding out my arms for him. He looked at me with the saddest expression on his face and his bottom lip trembling. He slowly crawled over to me and I pulled him onto my lap and wrapped my arms around him. “Your amazing Frankie. Alicia’s right he wasn’t making you better; he was just making you scared of people and speaking your mind. He was a bad guy ok?” I mumbled softy as I ran my fingers up and down his back.

“But I thought it was going to make me better.” He mumbled into my chest, where he had laid his head.

“There’s nothing that needs to be made better.” I whispered softly. “You’re perfect.”

-Time elapses-

It was about eleven and Alicia, Mikey, Frank, and I were all in Alicia’s TV room watching some random movie. We were staying the night and Alicia and Mikey were all curled up together on one couch and Frank and I were on the other. And Frank was beyond adorable; he was practically clinging to my side as we watched the film. It was a horror, I didn’t find it scary but I’m guessing he did by the way he was holding onto me. Not that I minded, I loved being so close to him.

So as we all continued to watch the movie I notice that slowly Frank’s grip on me listened until I herd soft snoring. I carefully looked down at his face to see his eyes closed. AW he fell asleep on me! That’s so cute! I just smiled to myself as he made little cute noises as he slept.

“Gee!” Alicia whispered just loud enough for me to hear. I torn my eyes off of Frank and looked up at her. “You two are so cute together!” A big goofy grin pulled to my face. I wish we were actually together…

“I wish.” I replied, the smile falling from my face. I want to be with Frank and hold him when he’s scared and kiss all the bad memories away. I wanted to be his world, his everything. I looked back down at his pretty face to see it twisted into a pained expression. This made my heart drop into my stomach.

“Frankie.” I called shaking him. All I got was whimpers so I shook him a bit harder and said his name louder. His eyes suddenly snapped open and locked with mine.

“Gee?” His voice crooked and his eyes filled with tears.

“I’m here Frankie. It was all a bad dream, your ok now.” I said in a soothing voice as I wrapped my arms around him. His face nuzzled into my chest as he let out a quiet sob. I just kept repeating that it was ok as I rubbed his back.

After a few minutes he looked up at me with puffy red eyes. “I’m sorry.” He whispered before trying to pull away from me.

“No Frank, it’s ok. I’m here to comfort you.” My grip didn’t really tighten because he wasn’t really trying to get away. I think he liked that people actually cared for him, and would hold him when he cried. He lived with his heartless horrible father for way to long.

“I’m just…there not dreams Gerard. I just keep…reliving it. There. It’s. I’m just scared, what if he doesn’t go to jail?” His voice was so low only I could hear what he was saying.

“He will Frankie. What he did to you was horrible, he’s going away forever.” I told him truthfully.

“But what if he doesn’t?” his voice was ever quieter and sounded so far away and scared.

“I’ll always be here to protect you.” I said in the gentlest and most genuine tone I could. This was more then the initial liking I had for Frank. I felt that I would do anything for him just to put a smile on his face and to keep the horrible memories in the past. I wanted to be a friend. The best friend that I could to help him threw this.

“Do you wanna go to your bed now Frank?” I asked concerned because I knew he was tired. He looked up at me with his big sad eyes gripping onto my shirt.

“No…I don’t want to be alone.” I don’t really think he wanted me to hear what he said after No, but I did.

“You don’t ever have to be alone again; I’ll sleep in there with you.” His big tired eyes were still looking at me. “Don’t look at me like that! Lets go to bed your so tired.” I said ruffling his hair. He nodded his head slowly and I pulled myself up from the couch putting my hand out for him. He looked at my hand for a minute before reluctantly taking it.

“Guys.” I said directing my words to Mikey and Alicia. “Frank’s tired; we get the spare room yeah?”

“You both gonna stay in there?” Alicia asked.

“Yeah, he doesn’t want to be alone. So I’m going to stay with him.” I said looking back at Frank and flashing him a smile. I tugged on his arm so he’d follow me as I started out of the room on the way to the spare bedroom. When we got to the door I pulled it open and let Frank in then followed him in.

He just sort of stood awkwardly as I dropped his hand and made my way to the bed. I sat myself down and patted next to where I was sitting.

“Frank, are you ok?” I asked concern laced threw my words.

“Yeah…I. Where do you want me to go?” He asked looking at his sock covered feet.

“Right here with me, silly. You said you didn’t want to be alone. I’ll sleep in there with you.” I said again patting the bed next to me. He slowly walked the little room between him and the bed and took a seat next to me. He placed both of his hands on his lap and started playing with his fingers.

“Are you sure? I was being overdramatic. I don’t have to sleep in the bed. I’ll sleep on the floor! It’s fine.” He so fast his words were almost mumbling together. I giggled a little before getting up and getting into bed under the blanket.

“Frank!” I said holding up the blanket for him. He looked at me with a small smile before crawling up the bed and getting underneath the blanket with me. He was as far away from me as physically possible which again made me laugh. “Frankie, you can come closer.” I said smiling. I held out my arms for him wiggling my fingers. He let out one of his adorable little giggles and moved over to me.

“This is ok?” He asked quietly.

“Yup, were cuddle buddies!” I exclaimed excitedly. “It makes you feel safer doesn’t it?” Frank carefully laid his head onto my chest and I wrapped my arms around his tiny little body.

“Yeah, actually. I don’t think anyone’s ever been this nice to me before. I don’t know how to act around people. I don’t want to do anything wrong.” He said as he rubbed his head against my chest.

“Don’t worry so much, okay? We want you to be yourself and relax.” I told him.

“Ok.”

“Good night Frankie.” I whispered.

“Night Gee.”

I began to rub Frank’s back as we lay together, trying to possible comfort him. I didn’t want him to fall asleep and have another nightmare. I wanted him to have little happy dreams. So I ran my hands up and down his back until he was again breathing even and snoring lightly. I smiled to myself as I looked down at the adorable way he was curled up with me and closed my eyes, drifting off into a happy sleep.

-Early-

I woke up hearing small whimpering noises. There was a bit of light coming threw the window as I sat up and rubbed my eyes and twisting my back so it’d crack. I looked to my side to see Frankie laying next to me looking at me.

“I-I’m so-o sor-rry. Di-d I wake yo-ou up?” Frank’s eyes were wide in fear as he stumbled over his words.

“Frank what’s wrong?” I questioned in a panic.

“No…no I’m fine! I. I’m s-sorry.” His breathing was erratic and he looked scared.

“You didn’t wake me up. Please Frankie. What’s wrong?” I asked searching his eyes for an answer.

“I thought I woke you up! Just I’m so sorry Gerard. I really didn’t mean to, I’ll be quieter. I promise. Please don’t hate me.” His little tiny voice was pleading and I felt so bad for him, he was worrying for something that wasn’t even a real issue.

“I’m not mad! Why would I be mad?” I asked him pulling him into a hug.

“My dad always got so mad if I ever woke him up. He said it was rude and only a selfish little shit like me would do it. And I don’t want you to hate me! I didn’t even do it on purpose.” I ran my hands there his soft brown hair and shushed him.

“It’s ok I’m not mad. It’s ok to wake me up. At any hour no matter what, okay?”

“Alright.” I smiled at him and looked over to the digital clock that was sting on a table next to the bed. It was 6:03 but I actually wasn’t tired anymore.

“Do you wanna get up or would you like to go back to bed?” I questioned as I looked at Frank who was chewing on one of his fingernails.

“It doesn’t matter, I’m not really tired so either way…” He said tailing off in the end of his sentence.

“Okay let’s get up. We can go pull something or Mikey.” This brought a huge smile to Frank’s face.

“I’m up for that.” I grinned as we both got out of the bed and left the room.