A Drama Provider

“Jonathan!” I screamed as my toes touched the bus floor. “Jonathan!” Mark winced on the couch from my sudden loudness.

“Jeez, Dell.” He covered his ears and looked up at me questionably. “What’s up?” I shook my head and stormed to the back of the bus.

“Jonathan!” I yelled again and heard a thump in the very back were the guys usually played around with their instruments. “Jonathan.” I sighed, figuring it was him as I stumbled to the back, but as I got closer and my eyes adjusted to the darkened area, I realized it wasn’t. “Kyle.” My eyes welled up with tears and I prayed to god that I kept my emotions out of my voice.

“You okay, babe?” He hurriedly got up from the floor and came to me, wrapping me in his warm, safe arms and pressing a gentle kiss to my temple. It made everything that much worse.

“Fine, just fine, um, I was just looking for Jon to go over vocals.” I came up with the only thing that was coming to mind. “He wants me to sing with you guys at the next stop.” I rolled my watered eyes and tried to laugh, but the sound came out a little forced.

“I really think you should, your voice is amazing and I love to hear it.” Kyle’s words were breaking me. I couldn’t last long like this. “I think he said he was going over to All Time Low’s bus to play the Wii, or something.” Kyle shrugged and my head moved with his shoulder.

“I’ll go check.” I couldn’t bear kissing him with the thoughts that were running through my head so I tried desperately to just turn around and leave.

“No goodbye kiss?” Kyle held me by my arms sounding confused as ever. I never left the room without kissing him.

“I’m just scattered brained, love.” I excused and leaned up on my tip toes to quickly press my lips against his. I had to be fast and leave before he put his hand behind my head and deepened the kiss like always. “I’ll see you in a few.” I fled from the bus, bumping into Austin at the door but just ignoring the odd looks as I pushed forward. I had to get to Jonathan now. I was going to confess everything, every last burning detail, and then hope he helps me clean up the mess. I kept running till I stood outside All Time Low’s bus and then busted in. “Jonathan.” The soft whisper escaped now that I could see him my adrenaline subsided some.

“Adele, hon, you okay?” Alex asked from behind their kitchen counter/bar. “You look sick.” His worried tone caused all eyes to fix upon me, though I didn’t mind since I got his attention.

“I’m fine.” I lied and my voice cracked. Jonathan was up in seconds and pulling me gently toward the door even faster.

“I’ll come back later for a rematch guys.” He waved over his shoulder and grabbed my hand as we made it down the stairs. After the door closed I threw myself into his arms, tears immediately pouring out as well. “Adele, babe, what’s going on?” He kept one hand firmly around me waist and the other behind my head, patting my hair in a soothing kind of motion.

“I’ve screwed up so much.” I cried and my voice broke more. I couldn’t handle it anymore so I buried my head in his chest instead, refusing to talk about it.

“It’s okay, doll. It’s fine. Everything’s good. You’ve screwed up nothing, so there’s no reason to cry these tears, ‘kay Dell?” He kissed the top of my head and I felt my stomach drop, and my tears dry.

“Everything’s not fine.” I pulled myself out of his arms so I could look him in the eyes. “I did this, and I didn’t know how to fix it until now. You helped me, just like I knew you would.” I smiled slightly, still feeling the sticky, wet tears on my cheeks. Jonathan had that adorable confused expression as he watched me try to wipe off the smearing makeup.

“I helped?” He was waiting for me to confirm and then explain.

“I’m leaving Jonathan.” The words felt treacherous, but it was the only way I could see for now.

“Leaving?” He still wasn’t quite grasping the concept, and it broke my heart to see him try to understand.

“I love Kyle, but Caleb’s been testing that love for months, and now Kent’s confessing his feelings for me too. I can’t take it.” I shook my head. “It’s not like when we were back in highschool and things were easy, and it was just me and you.” I reached out and grabbed his hand, giving it a tiny squeeze. “I’ll miss you the most.” I whispered and stepped closer, my heart beating fast and hard. It hurt, but I stepped further and kissed him passionately. “I love you.” I muttered looking up at his bewildered expression one last time before I let go of his hand, turned, and walked away. I ran once I was out of his sight, just so he wouldn’t come to his senses and come after me. I ran out of the gates and into the empty parking lot. Cars would be filling up here pretty soon, but I wouldn’t be around to see it.

I was going home, and then anywhere else I wanted.