Love's Requiem

“Oh my god.” Alex exclaimed half laughing, half concerned. “What’s wrong?” He asked as I hugged him.

“I don’t know!” I cried.

“It’s just your hormones babe.” He soothed hugging me tightly.

A few minutes later I was calmed down, and being dragged to the mall by Frankie, Mike, and Jesse.

“I wish we got that meltdown on tape.” Frankie admitted.

“You’re an asshole.” I pointed out.

“Yes, yes I am.” He agreed.

I was dragged through every maternity clothes-selling store in the mall that day. And when I began to get hormonal and cranky I was bribed with Cinabon, or taco bell. I bought dresses, jeans, sweats, shirts, sweaters, and pajamas. By the end of the day, I never wanted to go shopping ever again.

“You know you need a baby shower, specially since you didn’t have a bridal one.” Jesse pointed out as we walked in the door.

“No, I don’t.” I shook my head.

“You totally do.”

“You totally need to go suck, my fat, pregnant dick.” I replied.

“What beautiful language out of the mouth a pregnant lady.” I heard Jack’s voice.

“Fuck you too.” I mumbled.

“This tour is so going to be the best tour ever.” Jack smiled as he hugged me.

“I can hardly contain myself.” I grumbled.

I pretty much packed most of the clothes I bought with Jesse’s help in the next hour or so and once we were finished sadly the three of them left to go back to New York. The next few days were chaotic, while I was taking care of juggling last minute tour problems as well as pregnancy issues I also had the joy of trying to ease Alex’s mind on the subject of me still touring. By the time the day rolled around for us to leave, I had finally calmed him down about it. Because I was getting huge the days of me and Alex lying in a bunk together were totally out of the question. So we had our bunks across from each other, and mine was closest to the bathroom. Everything seemed normal, with the exclusion of me sometimes getting stuck in corners of the bus or the tables. This fall tour was going to be running from August till November and go all across the country ending in New York. It was all time low, Hey Monday, Cobras and the Friday night boys. Of course a pregnant Gabe and me reeked of disaster.

“So what are you going to name the little mensch?” Gabe asked me while I wobbled through the venue to photocopy the set list the second day out while the guys had an interview.

“Multiple.” I told him, reading through the guest list as well.

“Names?”

“Babies. I’m having twins, we still have to come up with another two names.” I told him.

“And to think I thought one would be bad enough.”

“Seriously.” I chuckled.

When I was finished with that, I headed back to the dressing room to see if their interview was done. Man did I have the wrong timing, just as Gabe and I hit the slightly cracked door we heard Alex inside talking.

“Yeah, I actually got married last month.” Alex explained. “My wife is from Croatia so we just had a small ceremony there and then had a party for all our friends here a week later.”

“Can I kill him?” I mumbled to Gabe.

“No, you can’t keep expecting him to lie about you and him.”

“But it so much more convenient.”

“Keep telling yourself it is. Come on I’ll buy you a corn dog or whatever it is you preggers eat.” He told me dragging me to the exit.

Ironically he did buy me a corn dog, and afterwards we headed back to the busses.

“Where’d you two go?” Alex asked as Gabe helped me up the stairs.

“Bought your blushing bride a corn dog so she wouldn’t kill you for spilling the wedding beans.” Gabe explained as I nodded still eating.

“I don’t hate you when I have corn meal rolled hot dogs.” I mumbled to Alex sitting next to him.

“Well then I have to buy boxes of them for future arguments.” He chuckled giving me a kiss.

The first few days were rough on me; of course once the interview was out that had Alex announcing being married kind of started frenzy, especially when some of the fans got a glimpse of my stomach that was hard to hide.

“So have you thought of any names yet?” Alex asked me while I was checking my email on the way to the next city.

“Brandan.” I said reading the next day’s itinerary.

“Like the guy from Bleeding through?” He asked. I nodded my head while I read. “Okay it isn’t
a bad name. Middle name?” He asked.

“No fucking clue.” I mumbled going to the next email.

“Adam.” He said a few minutes later.

“Adam’s song?” I chuckled as I replied to the email. “I like it.” I smiled as I glanced at him.

“Girl’s name” He began, “I like the name Maya.” He finished a minute later.

“Me too, Maya… Gabrielle.” I thought out loud.

“Sounds good to me.” He nodded. “That wasn’t so hard was it?” He chucked as he headed to the front of the bus.

Because I couldn’t really go out after the shows, and I hated making Alex stay back with me
so there were nights where it ended up just being me on my own. I’d grab something to eat, and probably end up reading or calling some family member or friend to talk to in Croatia. To be honest five days in and I was miserable. I felt terrible; I still have bad sickness every morning and certain times during the day. I hated that I had to sleep in my own bunk on my own because I was as big as a house. I hated the stress and the mood swings I was having that ended with me taking it out on Alex or the guys.

“Bella maybe you should just go home if you’re this miserable. It can’t be good for the babies.” Michi said on the phone to me one night.

All the guys were out at a bar so I was in the hotel room and tonight happened to be Michi’s turn for a phone call.

“I can’t do that to Alex or anyone for that matter.” I frowned.

“But Bella, you have to realize you’re not that girl anymore who can be on the road 90% of the
year. You’re what 6 months pregnant now? You should be home getting a nursery together
and for the record redecorating that whole house it reminds me of a hunting lodge.” She chuckled.

“I thought I was the only one who thought it did!” I laughed. “What do you think I should do?”

“Call up your boss tell him to send out your replacement, and just explain to Alex how you feel. I’m sure he’ll understand and actually encourage you to.”

“Okay.” I nodded. “I’ll tell Alex and everyone tomorrow.”

“How long is he going to be gone again?”

“Until December.”

“Hmm” She paused. “I have an idea.”

“Uh oh, for what?”

“How long would my visa last to visit?”

“Like three months why? What are you planning?”

“Ivan and I are looking at moving to Split, so I have to quit my job either way I’m doing it soon so we can start getting everything together for the move and what not.”

“Okay”

“How about I stay with you until Alex comes home. Help you get everything ready and all that fun stuff so that way you wouldn’t be by yourself.”

“You really want to be separated from Ivan for two months?”

“I see him all the damn time, some time apart would be nice.”

“Well if you’re sure.”

“I’ll book my ticket.” She told me as I heard someone at the door.

“I think Alex is back.” I told her.

“Okay, good luck telling him and tell me how it goes!” She said hanging up.

“I will.” I told her as Alex walked in and I put my phone on the nightstand.