Love's Requiem

Let’s recap shall we? I’m currently engaged to a guy whose heart I broke once already. I got wrecked and slept with my ex-boyfriend, and now I’m once again finding myself period less on tour. Okay, if I panic I’ll only make things worse. I’ve been through this before, I just have to relax and in a few days it’ll come. There’s no need to freak out, everything is going to be okay. What if it’s not?

“Have you come out seclusion now?” Jack asked me the next afternoon while we were on the way to the venue.

Yeah, after yesterday I went in to hiding from everyone seeing as I was trying to not freak out on anyone nor give myself a panic attack.

“One day of privacy and everyone thinks I’ve gone hermit.” I joked.

“It’s not like you that’s all, Alex was worried as hell about you.” He added.

Oh fuck, how am I going to explain the freak out to him?

“Well he shouldn’t I told him I wasn’t feeling so good that morning.” I lied.

“Eh you know how he is.” He chuckled as he threw an arm around me tightly.

“Earth to Bella! Come in Bella!” Vinny shouted waving a hand in front of my face snapping me back to reality.

“What I’m sorry, my head is just really hurting right now.” I told him letting out a yawn.

“You’ve been getting a lot of those lately.” Vinny observed, “Maybe you should get it checked out you know?”

“Eh it’s probably my sinuses.” I lied, when the truth was I was a week and a half late for my period and still had no chance to pick up a test without anyone knowing. “Now what were you saying?” I asked him as I helped unload the merch.

“I said, are you coming out with us tonight?” He asked.

“Nah, I’m probably going to kick back and watch the Mets game highlights on sports center.”
I told him. “Might be what I need to get rid of these headaches you know?”

“I guess, I wish you’d change your mind though you’re starting to worrying us since you’ve been all hermit like the past week.”

“Any luck?” Jack asked walking in to the venue from outside with Alex.

“Nope, she’s got another headache and, wants to watch the game highlights on sports center and probably catch up on her hubby’s games.” Vinny explained.

“You could have just asked me yourself.” I joked rolling my eyes, as I replied to a text I had received from Niko. “And for the record, my hubby won today.” I smiled sticking my tongue out at Vinny.

“Can I talk to you?” Jack asked me, lightly grabbing my arm.

“Sure Jack attack,” I smiled hopping off the merch table and following him to the secluded dressing room.

“Is everything okay?” He asked me seriously, as he closed the door behind us.

“Yeah, everything is fine.” I lied.

“Bella, I know something’s up, is everything okay? Did you and Niko get in to a fight or something? You barely talk to anyone, you’re always in the bathroom or you have a headache.”

“I think I might be coming down with something, that’s all.” I told him.

“Okay, do you want me to stay back and hang with you tonight?”

“You don’t have to.” I told him, hoping I could finally run to a pharmacy and get a test in private.

“I know I don’t have to but something tells me I should.”

“You really don’t I’m fine, plus if I am I don’t want to make you sick.”

“Alright, but listen Bella really if there’s something going on I’m here anytime to talk you know that.” He told me kissing my forehead.

“I know, thanks Jack.” I smiled as we left to join the others.

Bus call was at 3 am tonight, which meant I had my work really cut out for me. When the guys took the stage that night, I quietly slipped out of the venue and headed to the CVS a few blocks away buying a test, and hiding it in my backpack before I headed back to the venue just in time for their last song. I helped load up, and then reminded the guys when bus call was before they took off for whatever bar they were heading to with a few of the other bands on the tour.

“Are you sure you don’t want to come?” Jack asked me while I was covering myself with my Portsmouth blanket Jack had bought me in November.

“Positive,” I told him as my head throbbed, “This headache is killing.” I groaned as I watched all the guys walk off the bus and Alex glance at me with a frown.

As soon as the bus was deserted I jumped up running to my bunk grabbing my backpack and grabbing the test as I sprinted to the bathroom. I tore the box open, and did what I had to do. I walked out and put the test on a napkin on the table as I paced back and forth waiting for the time to pass. I paced faster each time, trying to sort out my options. I’m not pregnant it’s impossible for me to be pregnant since I am on birth control. Out of nowhere the door of the bus flung open.

“I forgot my wallet you believe… that.” Jack said stopping dead in his tracks, while I jumped in front of the test blocking it and trying to slip it behind my back. “What are you doing?” He asked me with a weird look.

“My baka always said if you have a headache pacing back and forth helps it go away.” I lied.

“That’s not weird at all.” He told me as my phone alarm started going off. “Aren’t you going to pick it up?” He asked thinking it was someone calling.

“Uh someone’s been pranking me lately. I’ll just let it ring.” I lied.

“I’ll handle it.” He said scooping up my phone. “It’s an alarm, no one’s calling. What the fuck
is really going on Bella?” He asked confused as he silenced the alarm.

“I was counting how many paces I could do in five minutes, it’s a soccer thing.” I lied, hoping that somehow made sense.

“Why is your hand still behind your back?”

“Itch.”

“What are you hiding?” He asked me.

“Nothing, I’m not hiding anything hey shouldn’t you get going the guys are going think you were kidnapped or something.”

“Isabella what is behind your back?” He said seriously.

And at that point I knew he wasn’t kidding, because out of the past three years he’s never, called me Isabella especially in a tone like that.

I let out a sigh, and first turned around so my back was facing him so I could see the results myself first.