A Naked Light

Ever wonder what it's like to watch somebody else's life blossom and flourish while yours is left in the dust?

Well, that was more or less what was happening to me now. Actually, that was exactly what was happening to me now.

My more beautiful, more talented, over-achieving older sister was getting ready to marry her boyfriend of the past four years, whom, might I add, we'd never met.

I was furious. How could such a conniving, ditzy whore end up having a better life than me? Was karma that much of a bitch? Did God really hate me that much?

Apparently so.

Now, what I say may sound harsh, but knowing my sister better than anyone else, I know what she's capable of.

She's a compulsive liar with rock hard abs and perky boobs who dates powerful guys to try and make a name for herself as a model.

As if that wasn't bad enough, I had to live in her shadow all throughout high school. I was known as "Lindsey's sister" for most of my secondary schooling. She'd been student council president, prom queen, head cheerleader, on the honour roll every year, and received a scholarship to Brown, which she turned down to become a model. My parents nearly killed her when they found out. They had a huge fight and when I came back that night, her bags were packed and she left. I got to live my last two years a little happier after that. I was no longer "Lindsey's sister". I was Addy Lauren Rossdale, captain of the senior girls' soccer team, president of the photography club, and a two-time first-place finisher in Baltimore's Annual Art Competition. I had been given the chance to make a name for myself. As much as I did love my sister, her leaving was the best thing that had ever happened to me.

And now she was coming back.

I peered through my blinds as I heard a car pull into the driveway. I looked away quickly but something caught my eye. I immediately looked back, eyeing a tall guy with a tight fitting t-shirt, and equally tight skinny jeans. A pumpkin-headed tattoo peeked out from his forearm as he reached for the handle.

Mom wouldn't mind it. Dad would hate it.

As I watched him open the car door for my sister, his eyes shot up and met mine. I slid my fingers from the blinds and they snapped shut.

I hoped he hadn't gotten a good look at me and took a deep breath. I rummaged around my room for a pair of clean jeans and a band tee that didn't smell like cigarettes. The least I could do was look somewhat presentable, even if I wasn't keen on the whole idea.

I smirked. I sounded just like my father.

I smiled as I found my dark wash skinny jeans and black Guns N' Roses tee, my grey cardigan tossed on and buttoned up once. I admired my look and slid on my old ballet flats. They used to be silver, but the colour had worn away over the years. Now, they barely glimmered, but I didn't care. They were still the most comfortable shoes I owned.

The door bell rang and I raced down the stairs to the kitchen. My Mom gave me an awkward look.

"Sorry," I murmured.

She just smiled and kissed my forehead. "We'll get through it. It'll be awkward for a bit, but we'll get through it."

"Tell that to Daddy," I smirked.

She chuckled and went back to peeling carrots. I heard my Dad answer the door and snagged the peeler from my Mom. She chuckled again and shook her head. "You can't hide from her forever."

"I can try."

She left the kitchen and I heard them chatter aimlessly.

"Let's go to the living room," Dad suggested.

Feet shuffled and then there was silence. Mom broke that easily enough.

"Sweetheart, it's been so long."

I heard my sister sniffle and hug my Mom. They both started to tear up. I rolled my eyes and smiled. They were both emotional wrecks when it came to family reunions.

"You have a beautiful home, Mr. and Mrs. Rossdale."

I stopped peeling. Well, that voice had caught my attention.

"Please. Amy and John. You're practically part of the family now," Mom urged.

Dad said nothing, which I'd expected.

There was another silence and then I heard Lindsey ask, "Where's Addy?"

My brow furrowed and I dropped the carrots into the pot, causing water to spill over and sizzle.

A set of footsteps sounded behind me but I didn't react. I just kept chopping the vegetables and tossing them into the pot.

"Hey."

I looked up from the cutting board and saw my sister for the very first time in seven years. "Hi." The tension was awkward, but I pushed to say something. "Congratulations."

"Thanks." She stared at her feet. "Listen Addy. I know you're not really happy with me now, especially since I didn't call, didn't write or anything. But it's been seven years, and now, we're back together. We're a real family again. I want you to be part of this with me. Alex is the greatest thing that's ever happened to me, and I want you to be there when he becomes part of our family. I want you to be my maid of honour."

I put down the knife. "You really want me to be part of your wedding?"

"More than anything. You're my baby sister. We've been through everything together. I want to add this to our never-ending list."

I couldn't help but smile. She seemed happy. Then again, everything went her way. I sighed. "Of course."

She beamed and pulled me into a hug. "Oh I've missed you, Addy. I'm so happy."

I patted her back and forced a smile. "I'm happy for you too. I'm sure Alex is a great guy."

She pulled away and gripped my shoulders. "Oh my God! That's right, you haven't met him yet. Okay, forget the food, turn off the stove and come meet him! He's so amazing!"

I didn't even have a chance to respond. She grabbed my wrist and dragged me behind her, finding the living room. I burst out laughing. "Jesus, Linds. Keep your pants on." She pushed me through the entrance and I turned to see my parents sitting on one sofa, the same tall, lanky guy as before.

I paused, my breath caught in my throat. He was gorgeous. His hair was artistically messy and his eyes were a beautiful, soft brown. Our eyes locked and his expression brightened. His smile was blinding.

"Baby, this is my little sister, Addy. Addy, my fiancé, Alex."

I found my voice again and reached over to shake his hand.

"Alex. Nice to meet you."

He stood up and leaned in, shaking my hand. "Addy, it's a pleasure."

"Alex is in a band," she interrupted excitedly. I sat down beside Lindsey.

"Is that so? Local pop punk band type thing?"

He looked gobsmacked. "Yeah, actually. Wow." He chuckled. "How'd you know?"

"Well, the 'Thames Street' t-shirt, and the beanie." I smiled shyly. "I saw the same one at my favourite shop downtown." He grinned. "The pick in your hand kinda gives it away, too."

Everyone looked at him, and sure enough, there was an old red pick, rotating around his fingers. He looked at me and smiled. "You're like a little Nancy Drew."

"Yeah, only with a dirtier mouth and masculine wardrobe," my Dad scoffed jokingly.

Everyone laughed and I sat there, my jaw to the floor. "Hey! That's unfair! Who do you think I learned all those bad words from anyways?"

Mom and Dad looked at Lindsey and she shrugged. "What?!"

I rolled my eyes. "As for my clothes, I do happen to own stuff besides t-shirts and jeans, father."

"Oh yeah? Like what?"

I paused. "My... uhh... prom dress?"

Mom laughed. "Nice try, Addy."

I groaned and Alex just smiled and tapped my shoulder. "Don't worry about it. Skirts are kind of overrated anyways."

Lindsey frowned. "You always like my skirts and dresses and stuff."

Alex forced a smile. "Well you look beautiful in them, but they're not really anything special."

She seemed a bit upset. "I buy them to look nice for you. I thought you appreciated that."

I rolled my eyes and Alex noticed. He held back a smile. "Trust me, babe. I appreciate it, but you just don't need to buy a new outfit every day. You can wear the same thing more than once and still look amazing."

She smiled feebly and I gave him a reassuring look. He just grinned. I blushed lightly and looked away, hoping no one would notice.

"Who's hungry?" Mom asked.

We turned to her. "Uh, I am," I said.

"Yeah, we are too." I looked at Alex. "We haven't eaten since last night. We drove all the way from Boston."

"Well you're in luck. My Mom's pot roast is the best."

He chuckled. "Is that right?"

"Yep. Mom, you stay, I'll get everything ready."

I got up and headed towards the kitchen. I reached for the plates and took a handful of cutlery out to the dining room. Once all the places were set, I took the roast out of the oven and arranged all the vegetables in dishes.

"Need some help?" Lindsey walked up beside me and grabbed the carrots and rice.

I smiled. "Go ahead, I'll get the roast."

She nodded and walked into the dining room. As I walked in with the roast, everyone was seated and waiting.

We'd all been served when I rose my glass. Everyone stopped talking. "I'd like to raise a toast to my sister, Lindsey. After everything we've been through, I'm so happy that you're finally home. And also, to Alex. I'm so happy my sister found somebody to share the rest of her life with. I know you'll be an amazing brother-in-law. Congrats, you two."

Lindsey just grinned and kissed Alex. He looked over at me and smiled. "I'm happy to be a part of your family."

As we ate, I caught myself glancing up at Alex occasionally. He was talking to Dad and Lindsey was talking to Mom. I felt a little lost in the conversation. I didn't really mind though. Talking in the middle of dinner was never something I'd been particularly fond of.

"So Addy. What do you do?"

I paused, in the middle of sipping my wine, and met Alex's glance.

"Addy's a fashion designer," Mom said quickly.

Lindsey's fork dropped. "A fashion designer?! Oh my God, you have to let me model for you, Addy!"

I choked on my food. Alex looked at me and held back a laugh.

"Sorry Linds, I don't think my clothes are your style."

She pouted. "What are you talking about?"

"You wear dresses and miniskirts. I wear ripped jeans and hoodies. We come from different ends of the spectrum."

She sat back. "I happen to think I'd make a great model for you."

I rolled my eyes. "I know you do. You just wouldn't like what you'd be modelling."

She groaned.

"Any passions?"

I looked at Alex as he tried to avoid the topic. "Yeah, photography's a big one. Sketching's another."

"She's been playing the piano since she was 5," Dad added. "She's a beautiful player."

I smiled.

He continued, looking at Lindsey. "And Lindsey here quit after two years of lessons."

I laughed. "If it didn't come easy to her, it wasn't worth her time."

He smiled. "You should play some time."

I took another sip of my wine. "Maybe someday."

He looked at me intently and my eyes trailed to Lindsey's plate. "Linds, aren't you gonna finish that?"

She looked up at me. "No, I'm not too hungry."

"You said you were starving in the car," Alex said, confused.

"Yeah, but, well... Mom, don't take this to heart, but I really can't lose my figure. Your food's awesome, but I have to watch what I eat. No agency hires a fat girl."

I bit into the carrot at the end of my fork as my eyes widened melodramatically.

No agency hires a bitching diva either.

Mom and Dad said nothing, I doubt Mom really minded. She was a pretty picky eater. Alex just kept woofing it down. Dad seemed impressed by his healthy appetite.

Maybe he was fonder of Alex than I thought.