Snapshots of Reality

So here I was with Clover, at her fathers house. I was such an idiot. I didn't feel right here in her dads house. He actually thought I was someone great for her to hang out with, and that put regret on me. I felt horrible for getting his daughter into drugs, and then into me. I sighed as he re-entered the room, with that warm, trusting, smile on his face. It made me feel sick to my stomach that he was being so friendly. Clover was sitting next to me on the couch chatting happily with the family she had to leave behind. I started to wonder why she even left this place to move with her mother. It was defiantly something I needed to ask her.

"Well we have to leave." Clover smiled and stood up. "Ronnie has band practice later and I don't want him to miss."

They exchange a few hugs and we were out the door. I walked further from Clover, not wanting to stand to close. It just felt so wrong that her dad was that accepting of me. Actually is was extremely weird. I never was the type to actually date much, but I have had a few girlfriends, and all their dads knew me. Not personally. But they could tell by my presence what type of guy I was. I wasn't offended by anyone who thought of me as a druggie. My motto was currently "Fuck the World." I wasn't out to impress anyone, I was not fake, I was Ronnie Radke and I didn't need to prove anything.

"That was strange." Clover finally spoke, startling me at first. "Last time my dad hardly even cared I existed." She sighed and ran her fingers through her hair. "It's just all so confusing."

"You mean he wasn't always like that."

She shook her head and shoved her hands into her pocket. "I've always loved my father, but some times I thought he didn't care. That's why I moved with my mom. I thought it was what he wanted."

"Maybe it was at the time." I said and wrapped my arm around her, I had gave up on trying to stay back. "Maybe he realized how much he loved you and your sister when he was gone."

She nodded and I laughed.

"I have to say he has a great girlfriend. She's amazing and will treat you like her own."

We wondered around some more trying to kill time before band practice. Things were really picking up and we would have to start booking some gigs. I thought to myself if Clover would like to help us get started. She was obviously going to be around a lot more, and I thought why not? She would soon forgive Max. I knew her so well, and I could see how much she was missing his friendship.

After going back to the house and getting some food we left for Max's. It would be interesting to see how the two responded to each other. I had a killer headache and needed to call Brad. I hadn't spoken to him in awhile and I really needed a fix. Bad. I shook the thought from my head as Monte greeted us at the door.

"About time." Omar said getting up.

"Shut the hell up." I laughed and flipped him off.

Max kept glancing at Clover, wanting her to look back. She really shouldn't be angry with him. Rider was really hard to say no to, I had to do it. Plus Max hadn't really been with anyone in awhile and I thought my friend deserved something. Who knew, Maybe Rider could change and then date Max. Or not. She was a pretty big whore, and I hated her for getting Clover kicked out.

"Baby Jesus, I'm ready to rock and roll." Robert yelled.

Oh my god, I have the remedy for love

Practice had gone great and now I was back at home, in my room, with Clover. She fascinated me with every little thing she did. I couldn't believe that I actually loved her. Wait. I tried to swallow the lump in my throat. I loved her? I couldn't believe it, really. I never loved a girl. They came to me for sex, and then it was over. I looked at her as she danced around looking for one of my shirts to sleep in. I smiled as she found one and changed right into it.

"How do I look?" She laughed.

"Amazing." I smiled. She saw the way I was looking at her and immediately began to blush. "Sit down." I patted the spot next to me.

She crawled onto the bed and lay her head on my chest. This felt right to me. Like we could lay here like this all night, and not do anything else. We started kissing and I loved it. Everything was so different with her. She ran her hands over my chest, under my shirt. I smiled as I found my hands underneath my shirt she was wearing. She jumped at first but continued to pull me closer. I reached down for her shorts and she jumped back looking embarrassed.

"I'm sorry." I put my hands up. "I shouldn't have."

"It's okay." She smiled. "It's just I'm not ready for that."

I nodded.

"I mean I want to." She moved beside me again and took my hand. "It just doesn't feel like the right time. Forgive me?"

"What's there to forgive." I smiled.