Hello Beautiful

I knocked on Laura’s door, but she didn’t answer. I didn’t hear anything on the other side of the door, so I let myself in and looked around. I saw her laying on the bed, looking at the ceiling. She didn’t look like she had been crying, but I could tell that she wasn’t exactly happy either. I walked over to the bed and sat down next to her. She ignored me completely as I rubbed her back. I figured that I wasn’t going to get a response right away. After awhile she moved her head fractionally in my direction to stare at me. I stared back, trying to figure out what would make her smile again. She suddenly sat up and then promptly leaned back again, holding her head in her hands.

“Whoa. Head rush,” she complained. I couldn’t help but laugh at the annoyed look on her face. I reached forward and grabbed her in a hug and held on to her as tightly as I could. She hugged me back, but I could tell that something was wrong.

“What is it?” I asked her.

“Nick,” she began slowly, “Do you always want to be a musician? Like for the rest of your life?” Her question surprised me.

"Well," I said, choosing my words carefully, "I think I do. I love writing and recording and touring and performing for the fans. Of course one day I'd like to go to college and get married and have a family, but right now, this is what I want to do forever."

“That’s not exactly what I meant. I know you love music, but what about being famous? What about all of your friends back in New Jersey? What about touring? What about your fans? Does it ever bother you that you never really stay in one place for more than a few months? That you never get to see your old friends?”

Oh. I get it now.

“Well, I mean, sure, sometimes it’s difficult, don’t get me wrong, but really and truly, I like being famous for the most part. I get to drive all over the country in the coolest bus ever. I have tons of fans. But most importantly, I get to share my music with other people. That’s the most important thing to me, not the money, or the big house, or the screaming girls. The friends thing though, that’s a tough one. I know how you feel there. You have better friends than I did though. My friends would never come 1,000 miles to support me at a red carpet event.” I smiled at her. She didn’t smile back.

“Sometimes it’s really cool to be famous. Singing in concerts, recording songs, hanging out with you guys, the fans, meet and greets, touring. It’s just that, I’ve never been away from my friends for this long before. The longest amount of time that I’ve ever been away from the Oswald brothers is a week. I grew up with those guys. They’re my family, not to mention my real family, who I haven’t seen in months. I miss them like crazy.”

“That’s the real downside to touring. You don’t get to see your friends and family for long periods of time. The really cool thing is that you make friends all around the country, from all the different places you’re going. And you get to spend time with your tour-mates.” I smiled at her, trying to help her understand that I didn’t need anyone else when she was around. I hugged her tighter.

“I have a problem Nicky. I really like being on tour and being here with you guys and singing every night and acting and giving interviews, but I really miss my friends in Atlanta. Each night when you guys are singing, I always think about what would happen if Disney dropped me. What if I wasn’t famous anymore? I don’t want to get dropped, but at the same time, I want to hang out with my friends and I can’t do that like this all the time. I mean, sure, this was one night, but what about later, in the future? What’s gonna happen then? But what if Disney does drop me? I really like being famous. I love getting up in the morning and not having to worry about what I wear because someone’s gonna do it for me. I like having someone do my makeup and hair and I like going to red carpet events and the Teen Choice Awards and sleeping on a tour bus, and I like having fans and being a role model, because there are so many stars out there today who are really bad roll models, who take bad pictures and post them to Myspace and Facebook, or make bad decisions about interviews, or drink too much, or just don’t do the right thing and I want kids to have a decent role model and I’m not saying I can do that, but I can try! I really like all of those things, and not just that, there’s a lot more. My very favorite thing about being famous is hanging out with you guys. I really do love you.” She got really quiet at the end, like she was afraid that I was going to yell at her for saying that she loved me. My heart was pounding so hard I was sure she could hear it. I gave her another squeeze.

“Laura, even if you weren’t famous I would still like you. We all would. Touring wouldn’t be the same without you though!” I kissed her cheek, and then her forehead. She held onto me tightly. We sat like that for a long time.