Secrets Can Kill

Once I awoke my parents were asleep. I crept out of my room, starved. Yes I missed dinner, can you blame me? I was mad. No, not mad, I was furious at my parents and Alexander. Can you blame me to stand up for myself? I kept my door open, and walk in silence toward the stairway. I stopped in front of the guest room. I have never found out what kind of sleeper he was. If he was a light sleeper he might wake up, and drag me to my parents. My parents, ugh, oh the drama. I put my ear to the door to listen, he was snoring. I quietly chuckled to myself. I never would have thought he snored while he slept.I went on my way down the stairs. Knowing no one was up to hear me. I could eat whatever my dad hadn’t wolfed down. As I enter the kitchen, the moon shown through the window. It was silent, pure silent, there is only one word I could sum it up to lovely.

Suddenly the lights flickered on. “Surprise”

I turn around to see Alexander leaning against the wall by the light switch. He was awake, not in his room, and not snoring!

“What are you? A magician?” I asked trying to keep my voice low.

“No, what are you a raccoon?” he challenged.

“No.” I said. Loudly.

“So, then why are you up?” he asks looking at me.

“I could ask you the same thing” I spat back.

“I’m not at liberty to tell.”

“Oh please, Alexander cut the crap and spit it out.” I demanded “-I mean, really, it’s late, I haven’t eaten, and oh yeah the world is after me.”

“Oh please Emily, stop being such a drama queen. You are the one who brought Jason here in the first place” he said Jason’s name, as if it was about to kill him.”-You couldn’t even tell him to leave. You just ran to your room. I mean, really I had to lie just to get out of talking to him. I really don’t like the guy.”

“I did tell him to leave, I did try to not talk to him, but it was three against one.” I said losing my patients with him.

He came off against the wall, and walk towards me. Really his stance was all concerned. I don’t know what to do. Nothing I’m saying is getting through that head of his. He is so stubborn.

“Honestly Emily, I really don’t care for the guy. To say the truth I hate him, bad vibe you know?” now he was close enough to feel his warm breath across my face. To close for comfort. “-What I do care about is the distends you put between you two. I don’t trust him at all. Just try to take care of yourself around him” was this real? Him talking like this? To me?! Maybe?………I’m being punked.

“Why do you care? Alexander?” I asked trying not to fall into a daze. He turned around, as if he did not hear me.

“Emily” he said “-why don’t you get some sleep its late.” Then he left to his room.

I watch as he left the room, still trying to fight the daze that is going to sweep over me. I gave up on eating; my encounter with Alexander left me with no appetite. I went to my room and sat at my computer. It is late and I can’t sleep my body won’t let me. So I decided to check my E-mail. There is one new one, but I don’t know whom it is from. The background is as dark as the night sky. The night sky was so distracting it took me awhile before I notice the writing.

“It’s a poem.”



“That’s beautiful” Who would be able to write such poetry? Sort but sweet. Still, with such meaning to it. Something like this should not be wasted because of the strong sense of deep meaning to the person it should be meant for. Someone who is deeply cared about, that captivated the heart of someone. Those who make them feel something, special. I could imagine some other people receiving something like this, but not me. Still my eyes don’t want to turn away from it. Then I heard my door slam open.

“What the …” God I forgot to lock my door.”-Alexander, get out of my room”

“Hold on.”

“What are you doing?” He went into my closet closing the doors behind him.

“Act like I’m not here” he said.

“That might be kind of hard since you are here.”

I got up off my chair about to drag him out of the closet when I heard the window lock snap open. My black curtains began to ruffle and a cool breeze came in. I went over to see why my window came open. Just about when I got there a hand grab my wrist. My body went cold and I felt my scream stuck inside my throat. I began to pull away fighting to get free of whoever it was holding me. I manage to get whomever it is out from behind the curtain, but what I saw I wasn’t prepared for. It was Jason, again, coming through my window. I wonder if he ever did hear of something called a door. You know, its right there in front of the building. Where you go to enter and exit a place. My window is not to be used as a door. Well. Only by me it can.

“Let go of me.” I said

“Sorry.” He let go and made his way into my room “So how is that temper of yours doing?” Great he is in my room and now he is mocking me.

“Fine. Wait you are in my room I should be asking the questions not you” I told him. “ so why are you here. In my room” Again!

“Well…you seemed upset the last time I was here and…” I cut him off.

“You mean earlier today. When you were clearly not welcome.” I spat angrily

“Don’t tell me I wasn’t welcome here Emily. I was clearly welcomed by both your mom and your dad. You were the only one not welcoming me. Remember? You couldn’t even stand being in the same room as me. I saw how desperately you wanted me to leave. How you wanted to be as far from me as possible. Emily listen I have been rejected my whole life so far. School is no different. Everyone walks by as if I don’t exist. My mom is the only one left and even she is too busy for me. I know she tries hard but sometimes even to her I’m not there. I’m invisible Emily. Invisible! I bet you have no idea how that feels.” His eyes’ began to glisten-“ Then that day happened. You know, the day I brought the gun to school.” I nodded-“Well…you have to understand this is hard for me. I was sick of being invisible. The forgotten one, the no one cared for. That day I was ready to see the other side. You know death; anyway the principal was wondering the halls when couch told him I wasn’t in gym. They went searching for me and found me in the locker room shower. I was ready, but not ready for them to come in on me. I panicked and aimed at them. Couch tried talking to me so he could get the gun away. I wouldn’t let him near me that’s when I heard the principal call the police. I ran out the back door going into the hallway. I notice all the teachers were missing from there rooms. Typical when the principal is missing they go to his office. That’s when Miss. Jackal came out of nowhere and scared me. I shot at her in the leg by accident and she fell. So I broke into the nearest classroom. I had no idea it was yours Emily. I swear on my blood I didn’t know. -“

“That’s when I thought if I took someone hostage I would get out, but that’s when you came into play. There was something about you that I couldn’t harm” he turned away from me -“ I had no idea that you even were at the same school as me. Emily, please understand how sorry I am. Forgive me?”

What could I say to him? He already feels forgotten.

“I forgive you Jason. But you didn’t have to come into my room through the window to say this. You do know my room has a door.”

“Ha yeah I know” he turned around to me “Also your parents told me when we were younger I gave you a nickname”

“Like?”

“Emmy” he said

“Nice.” Well that explains why he called me that the other night he was here. “Is that all you have to say to me?”

“Well?” he put his hand on the nape of his neck. “Yeah I guess that is all I had to say.” He looks so innocent.

“So you be leaving now “ its was a statement not a question. I guess he got the picture and left through the window. Why is he suddenly open to me? The math of this entire happening doesn’t add up. Then again I’m barely passing math so some of this can be off. My knowledge of boys is like all girls, so I know not much than they do. God I need to sleep to get my mind off of this confusing topic. I walk over and close the window for some strange reason tonight’s air is colder than I can remember it. I was just about to take my shirt off to change when I began to hear heavy breathing. I had totally forgotten that Alexander was inside my closet with prefect view of me getting undressed-what a pervert instead of saying anything he rather stand there and watch me.

“Alexander get out of my closet.” When he came out his face was completely flushed-“You can be such a pervert, you were about to let me change in front of you.”

“No I wasn’t” he said face turning red-“I was thinking of what the jerk that just left said. I wasn’t watching you” I cocked an eyebrow at him “Okay I was watching you, but not when you were about to change. It was when you and Jason were talking.”

“Sure you were” I don’t believe him. I grab my jacket about to leave when Alexander grabbed my arm.

“Where are you about to go?”

“What does it look like? I’m going out. I need to clear my head”

“Are you crazy? Do you know what kind of people are out there at this time? Emily please”

“Let go of me” something was building up in me and my hands were feeling warm. Something in his eyes made him let go of me and at the moment I didn’t care what it was I wanted to get out for the moment. One place I know would be deserted by now and I ran to it.
I arrive at my mind clearing spot and of all the places to go I go to the park. I sit on the swing letting the cool air take me in. Closing my eyes the world disappears and I’m flying. The ground beneath my feet is gone, nobody but I exists. Still this floating feeling is comforting but in a strange sense it feels all too real. I open my eyes to see I’m being pushed on the swing. I was not alone and it scares me that I began to struggle and fell off the swing and my face meets the woodchips. I turn around and the figure begins to move forward toward me. I try to hold back my scream not to give this figure the satisfaction of scaring a sixteen-year-old girl.

Still it manages to come out and tears begin to stream down my face. I quickly get up and run home. My throat is burning from the scream I just cried and my panting for water isn’t helping it at all. I ran up my fire escape and manage to make it to my bed before collapsing. My tears smudged the dirt on my face and I didn’t want to walk down to the bathroom and run in Alexander having him know he was right all along. I never like to be wrong, well, that’s because usually I’m right but tonight Alexander was right.