Radio Man

It is exactly 6.14pm. Mikey said he’d be around with Gerard at 6.30pm. Frank has 16 minutes to hurry up and get dressed and do his hair and makeup.

Frank now has 12 minutes left, he’s just spent the last 4 minutes on the toilet getting out what felt like a sideways log. Now he’s walking funny.

The place is clean and all ready. The tea is on and everything is set. Except frank.

He now has 10 minutes. He’s just done a made dash around the place making sure everything is ok.

8 minutes. Frank just got dressed, but as he looks in the mirror he realises his pants are on backwards. And he doesn’t know how the fuck that works because he zipped them up. Strange.

6 minutes. Frank’s pants are on straight and all he needs to do is his hair and makeup. He’s pushing it. And he knows it.

4 minutes. The last two minutes Frank has been almost crying because he stumped his toe on his dresser. Finally, he starts his makeup.

1 minute. Frank has 1 minute to do his hair. What does he do? Gets a handful of gel and rubs it between both hands, bits of gel squeeze inbetween his fingers.

One, two, three, four quick hand pulls through the hair at weird angles and his hair is complete.

Frank has 10 seconds. Frank realises he hasn’t put on eyeliner. How the hell he forgot, he doesn’t know.

Frank is now running late and he’s almost crying because he’s stuffed up his eyeliner too many times.

And then the door is knocked on. shit shit shit shit shit.

“WAIT! JUST FUCKING WAIT! DON’T MOVE. DON’T GO ANYWHERE. JUST FUCKING STAY WHERE YOU ARE!”

“OK! WE HAVE PUT OUR WEAPONS DOWN AND WE SURRENDER!” Mikeys voice trails back in through the door.

Cheeky bastard.

Frank quickly gives his eyeliner one more go and YES it looks fucking hot. One quick look over and if Frank wasn’t himself, damn would he sleep with him. He looks damn sexy. He should be illegal.

Finally he gets to the front door and opens it and almost goes into cardiac arrest because Gerard’s arse is right in front of his groin and Frank withholds the temptation to thrust forward. Yes. He withholds. Just.

“Uhh…ehh..mmmph,” Frank wants to kick himself because what he just said didn’t make sense, and Gerard freezes doing what ever he is doing while Mikey just laughs.

Gerard doesn’t move. He just stays where he is and god is this a fucking invitation or what? Cause if he don’t move, I’m gonna come right on in!. And it’s like Gerard can read minds, because he suddenly shoots back up and turns around, facing a slightly flustered Frank.

“Sorry! I was tying my shoes, I. I didn’t think my arse would be. Right there. Oh god. Sorry!” frank just stares. Cause ever since Gerard has turned around Frank’s breath has hitched and he can’t get it back.

“Frank. Hey Frank. Breathe.” Mikey steps in.

“huh?”

“You weren’t breathing,”

“I fuckin was too,” Frank can feel Gerard’s eyes on him but he will not look at him.

“No you weren’t,” Mikey stares at him, brows furrowed.

“I. I was practising,” Practising? Again, Frank wants to kick himself.

“What the hell for?”

“Swimming?”

“You don’t swim,” Mikey points out the obvious and thank you Mikey for making my lie go to shit!.

“Uhh. I. Pretend to. Swim. In the. Bath?” And wow, Frank’s really out done himself tonight.

“Right. Does G.I.Jo go in with you and scuba dive?” Mikey is smiling really big and god Frank wants to rub that smile into some fish shit.

“Ha ha. Fucking. Ha, just get the fuck in,” Frank steps back as a giggling Gerard and smiling Mikey walk into apartment.

Just breathe. Yeah Gerard is in your apartment. Just breathe. It’s ok. He wont find anything embarrassing. Frank smiles and closes the door before running. No. Leaping and jumping and kind of doing a Matrix type thing towards Gerard.

“No!” Frank cries out as Gerard goes to pick up a book.

A book that he’s written everything down in. Everything including his little crush on Gerard. How he missed that he doesn’t know. Maybe there are like, secret ninja’s around. Fuck it. It was probably Ray. NO! It was Brian. Sneaky prick.

“Woah!” Gerard leaps back and falls into the couch. Mikey starts laughing again.

“This dinner is awesome, we’re coming around here more often,” Mikey says before laughing again.

“Sorry! It’s just. Private. You know. Prive. No go. Do not touch. Danger?” Frank tries to explain and he knows he’s rambling but he can’t help it because he’s nervous and he hopes Gerard doesn’t notice but he thinks he does because he’s looking at him weirdly and oh fuck shut up Frank, shut up, shut up, SHUT UP!.

And so he does. He does just that. Shuts up mid sentence. This is what was being said when he stopped.

“So yeah, I hope you’re comfy and everything if not then sorry, bathroom is down there and my bedroom is somewhere you need,” and that’s it. Stops. And Frank wishes he didn’t listen to himself.

“Ha. What?” Mikey just stares at Frank because he’s wondering if he just made a pass on his brother in front of him.

“I mean. My bedroom is somewhere you need to avoid. You know. Bomb site. Ha. Yeah. Boom!” Frank smiles and then sighs. “Shut up,”

“It’s ok,” Gerard smiles, and it’s not a shit eating grin like Mikeys is right now. No. It’s a nice genuine one that makes Frank breathe normally again.

“So. What the fuck is for tea ma brotha?” And both Frank and Gerard turn to Mikey who just stops laughing and stares at them. “What?”

That poor soul needs help. I might give him my shrinks number.