Radio Man

Mikey’s just ordered pizza for tea. All of it has meat on it. Even though Mikey says he swears it’s tofu. Frank knows his tofu. And that is not tofu.

Unless they upgraded. Then maybe it is. But this is Mikey. Mikey lies. Mikey is evil. Hell. It’s probably some kind of evil army device to capture Frank.

Frank is smart though. No way in hell is he going to get captured by evil pieces of maybe-tofu-meat. And if he does get captured. He can get tomato and. And barbeque sauce and drown them in it.

And he can maybe get an army of pineapple to cover them and kill them. Frank likes pineapple. They’re so squishy.

And yellow. Why are they yellow? Frank doesn’t know. But it is now on his list of things to do before he dies.

Number 346. Find out why Pineapple is yellow and tastes so good.

He loves his list.

“Frank. Frank, Frank. You in there dude?” Frank can hear the distant calling of Mikey. But his place in his head right now is so much more captivating.

“He is gone,” Gerard speaks up, smiling slightly.

“He’s never been here,” Fuck you.

“Mikey. Why are you so mean to him?” And finally Frank has someone on his side.

“Because, he’s easy,” Mikey really is a shit best friend.

“Fair enough,” And Gerard is really a shit crush and he is now officially back to no one on his side. Unfair!

“You two are such shit people,” Frank speaks up but he’s still mashing his dinner on his plate.

He has toast. With jam. Because he’s too fucking good for pizza. Assholes.

“We’re brothers. I get it from him, he’s older,” Mikey shrugs while pointing his long spidery finger at Gerard who just scoffs and acts offended.

It doesn’t fool Frank.

“Me? Fuck no, you got it from Dad dude. I’m like mom,” Frank can’t really think of anything to that because he’s never met his parents.

But he’s not sure he wants to if Mikey’s dad is like him. fuck that. One Mikey is enough.

“You like mom? Yeah ok, that’s true. Mom’s a bitch, you’re a bitch, I see the similarities,” Mikey smiles and Frank can’t believe he just called his mom a bitch.

Mikey needs to be slapped.

“Ow!” Frank feels better now.

“Ha! Sucked in. And I am not a bitch, jesus Mikey, I’m an asshole. Get it right,” Gerard sticks his tongue out as Mikey rolls his eyes and softly rubs his arm where Frank slapped.

“No you’re a dickhead,” Frank smiles to himself while Gerard and Mikey just look at him.

“Well, Frank you are officially the best person ever. Gerard Way, you are a dickhead. I love it, it’s got a catchy note to it,” Gerard huffs before shoving his mouth with some saucy and meaty pizza.

And I kissed that?! Frank watches on in amazement. This shit is better then animal planet. Frank can see it now.

‘And here we have the Gerard Way-asourous. Dangerous if provoked and should never be hand fed. The Gerard Way-asourous is also known as Cute Dickhead, or Radio Man. Both are very common names for this species. Now if we look close enough you may be able to see inside the beasts mouth as it hungrily devours its prey.’

Gerard needs to audition for a documentary on wild animals.

And Frank needs to become a narrator on the shows.

“He’s gone again isn’t he?” Gerard’s voice kind of echoes in Frank’s head.

“Yeah. He’s gone Gee,”

“Damn. I was gonna kiss him,”

“Fucking. Ew,”

Wait. Kissing, what?