Forbidden to Remember

Chapter Twenty-Three: We Can Now Live…

We got to bring the boys home on time, they didn’t have to stay any longer then a normal single birth even thought they were so tiny and I was worried. Kellan and I were so excited about having them home. My mom came and stayed for a few days, and dad called every five minutes to check up on us.

I was sitting in the nursery, one night, humming Jason and Matthew to sleep in the rocking chair when Kellan came in. I had spaced out watching my boys sleep soundly against my chest. I myself was fighting sleep. My mom had gone home an hour before and it was getting to be bed time for all of us, I was glad we had good babies that slept almost the whole night. Kellan’s movements caught my eye and I looked up at him smiling.

“They asleep?” He asked. I nodded. He came over and took Matthew who was the closet. Jason shifted, opened his eyes but closed them again and fell back to sleep. We placed both babies into one crib. The doctor said that letting them sleep in one crib was fine as long as we separated them in the future.

We watched them for a few moments before making our way to our own bed room. Kellan pulled me close. As he held me I felt an emotion that was new. It was the feeling of feeling complete. I had everything I could ever want. I had an amazing life. My job was something I wanted to do and that I could do even with children. I was married to a beautiful man who I loved unconditionally and that I knew loved me back. My family was supportive in everything I did. I had a great relationship with all of them. My friends were fabulous. I loved them all completely and they are big supporters of me too. There wasn’t anything in my life I would change, and there wasn’t anything that could ruin it.

The next morning, it was really early the sun was just coming up, I woke with a start. I jumped from the bed and walked quickly into the boys room. Both were laying in their crib so quietly. They were staring at each other. There little movements were so adorable I didn’t understand why I was so panic. Picking Matt up first then Jason I laid them down on the changing table. Kellan came in a few moments after. He started changing Matt as I finished Jason.

“Bring him down when you’re done babe.” He nodded. I placed Jason in his bouncy seat that we had on the table, so I could make us all something to eat. I made the boys there bottles up first. Kellan came down with Matthew. Placing him in the seat that was next to his brother.

“I still can’t believe there’s two of them.” Kellan said. I smiled at him trying to figure out what to make.

“What do you want for breakfast?” I asked him. He shrugged and I sighed. I pulled out the eggs and bacon.

“How about I make breakfast this morning. Matthew is being fussy I think he wants his mommy.” Nodding I walked over to the table. Grabbing here bottles I took Jason from his seat first. He was a fast eater, and tends to fall asleep after eating. When he was done I took Matt from his seat and he took his bottle, staring up at me. Jay normally is looking all over the place when he eats or closes his eyes. Matthew stares at me when I feed him and tries to find me when someone else does it or just doesn’t take the bottle at all. I watched him eat and smiled down at him. Kellan placed a cup of coffee in front of me and my breakfast before joining me with his.

“Thank you baby it looks great.” I said grabbing a piece of toast and taking a bite. He has put my favorite jelly on top. I smiled and turn my attention back to Matt. He was finishing up his bottle. “All done Matt.” I said placing him against my chest and started patting his back. He rested his head against my shoulder, at first his head was turned to look out but he turned it in so he was facing my neck. He sighed and relaxed. When he burped it was loud like his father. I laughed a little.

“What do you want to do today?” Kellan asked after I place Matt in his seat. Jason was sitting there watching everyone. He looked over at his brother when I took my hand away. Matt look like he was going to start crying. I started to rub his foot.

“Can we go for a walk later, maybe go over my brothers. Matt and Brian want to see them” I said. He nodded.

“The we can stop by my parents.” He said. I nodded.

The days passed and soon the boys were a whole year old. Kellan and I threw them a little birthday party. Everyone was their. As Kellan cooked on the girl with Zack and one of his brothers standing there, I held sat in the shade with Matthew on my lap and Jason making his rounds. He doesn’t like sitting in one place for a long time. So he started with my mom and is currently with Kristen. He likes her a lot. He’ll stay with her the longest before starting to get antsy. They were getting so big. They were eating solid food now and looking more and more like their father.

“Babe where did you leave the hot dogs?” He asked. I told him they must be still in the refrigerator. When he came back outside he had the plate in his hand. The pile was so high, I thought he was going to lose one or two but no he made it with out any hitting the ground.

When Syn got there George was with him knowing how much the boys loved him. He called me into the house, I left Matt with my mom. He started to whimper but I told him I’d be right back.

“Hey what’s …no.” Stopping in my tracks at what Jessica was holding. Shaking my head.

“Come on Lily they’ll love it.” Syn said.

“Their to young.” I said. I walked over to Jessica and took the small creature from her arms. “I’d have to talk to Kellan.” I said. When it licked my face I melted. I was holding a puppy.

“I’ll get him.” Syn said. He stuck his head out of the door and Kellan came in a few moments later. I could only imagine how Matt was taking that seeing now that both his parents weren’t in the backyard with him.

“What’s up?” I turned around with the puppy in my arms. “Aww he’s so cute.” Kellan said taking the puppy. “Who’s is he?” He asked. I gave him the look. “Oh well… it’s up to you honey.”

“Thank you guys for the great present for the boys.” I said. Kellan did his happy wiggle and took the puppy outside. “Thank you for the extra house work.” I said with a smile on my face. Syn gave me a hug. When we got back outside I sat down in my seat taking matt back from my mom. He was in all his glory. Kellan came over with the puppy and placed him on my lap so that he could finish cooking. Matt took to the puppy quickly. He wrapped his arms around him hugging it. The picture we got was priceless.

“Now I’m regretting only getting one.” Syn said. I glared at him. Don’t get me wrong I love animals. Dogs more then cats but I didn’t think we were ready for one with the boys being so young.

A little while later, my mom wanted to get a family picture. So Jessica placed Jason on my lap since she was the last on to have him. Matt and the puppy with still there too. I got the boys to stand on the seat of the chair, taking Matt’s pacifier. The Puppy sat on my lap not sure what to do. So he stayed, and Kellan stood behind us. It was a good picture. I was tickling the boys a little to get them to smile. Jason leaned against me when we were done telling me he was getting tired. Matt was the same way.

“I think it’s nap time.” I said. They had eaten and it was time for a small nap. Nodding Syn grabbed the puppy from my lap placing him on the ground he started to explore the backyard with George. Taking them both inside I laid them both down on the couch. They were head to head. I kneeled down in front of the couch kissed they foreheads and they soon were curled up and asleep. I stayed there for a second. They were my world. I couldn’t have asked for a more amazing family. And my boys were my life.

The end.