Hate, Love, and Sex Appeal

He could have left me. Left me and continued to draw while looking over at me and watch me suffer. If he hated me as much as he showed he would have done just that.
But he didn't.
He didn't quit after an hour. That lasted an hour and a half and he didn't leave. He stayed with me the whole entire time.

Why?

Maybe he really don't hate me that much. I know that I didn't fully hate him..on occasions. But how could I like someone who was constantly on my case and always putting me down?
This realization hit me like a bucket of ice water. He held me the entire night and wouldn't sleep until he knew I was sleeping. He kept saying "Bri?" and I'd hum and he'd say,"nothing".
I woke up to the realization, an empty bed, and Misfit in my hands. I stretched out all the kinks from sleeping.

6:31.

So where's Gerard?
I rubbed my chilled skin and my sleepy eyes. I removed the covers, put Logan's sweatshirt on, and walked out of the arctic room.

Gerard was sitting on the railing, staring out the window. I lost my breath because I wasn't expecting him to be right there. He put a finger to his lips, silently telling me not to say anything. I went over to him and gave him a 'whatcha-lookin-at' look. He nodded towards the window as he crossed his arms.

Sunrise.

I smiled. Gerard Way? Sentimental? No way...ah..but then again...
"I never really stopped to look at stuff like this before,"whispered Gerard, shattering the silence.
"You should. One day, you'll regret not seeing something as beautiful as that. It'll just pass you by," I replied.
He hummed in response. I watched for a few moments and continued my way down the wooden stairs. I found my way into the kitchen to find breakfast. The stairs creaked as I entered the kitchen, revealing that he was following.
This was awkward. I mean, it's Gerard Way. The bully, the villain of all my childish nightmares. I never thought I'd see the day where I'd question anything about him. I was pissed though. It was going to feel like I owed him something. That could turn into a whole other story and explanation.

I found the cereals and picked out Apple Jacks. I heard a cabinet open and the sound of two bowls being placed on the table. I went into the fridge and grabbed the carton of milk. Another draw opened and I heard silverware being pushed around.
I saw two white bowls on the table, one next to the other. I sat in a chair, filled my bowl and poured the milk as Gerard pulled out a chair next to me. He put a spoon in my bowl. I looked up and grinned saying a silent thank you.
"You have crap taste in cereal."
"Do not," I said as I shoveled a spoonful down my throat.
"Ya, you do. Lucky Charms is where it's at," said Gerard as he poured himself some LC's.
"Nope."
"Fine think what you want...crap-eater."

Another five minutes passed and the noiselessness devoured me.
"Don't think you can hold last night over me in any way because you can't."

I caught him by surprise. He was in the process of putting another spoonful in his mouth. His eyes darted up to my frozen glance. He closed his mouth and returned the spoon to the bowl.
"Now....why would I do that?"
"Because you're Gerard Way."
"And that means..."
"Don't play dumb. Did you help me for the sole purpose of torment later on?"
A sneer played across his face as he stared me down.
"You think I'd help you so that it would benefit me later on, am I right?"
"Yeah."

He shot me a testing look and said, "Do you really think I'm like that?"
"It's the only side of you that you've shown me, so could you really blame me?"
"Touché ."
I swirled the milk around with my spoon.
"And no....for your information, that wasn't what was going through my head when I was helping you to breathe normally."
"So is it now?"
I glared back into his icy eyes. After a moment, he replied, "No."

He went back to eating his cereal. I finished mine and got up to put my bowl and spoon in the sink. I put the Apple Jacks away and went back up to the room. I laid back down on the bed and watched as the room started to streak with light. I turned and a few minutes later the bed seeped down with weight.
"How could you think that, Bri?"

His tone changed, it wasn't accusing or aggressive. It was sad and hurt.
"I told you. You've only shown me that part of you. What am I suppose to think?"
"But you don't think I'd have the decency to not do that to you? I mean...we disagree a lot but I don't really hate you."
"Would you blame me?"
"I could."
"How could you?" I rolled over and looked up at him.
"Do you really hate me that much? Do you really think I'm that harsh?"
"Yes, most times."
I got up without him trying to stop me and went to take a shower.

"I didn't know this place had a pool."
I looked around the house for the first time. It had an in ground pool. Sweet.
"Hey Bri, me and Frankie are going to the pier, wanna join?" Mikey asked me.
"Yeah, right now?"
"Mhm."

I was still thinking about what Gerard had said to me as we walked down to the pier.
Fuck...he seriously chose now to do this.

Was it wrong to think he was doing something to save his own ass? Fuck no. Why would it be? And then he goes and is all 'let's be nice'. I mean, believing Gerard wouldn't lie about something like that was difficult beyond belief.
But the way he helped me through that last night....that just stuck.

"Bri--you in there?"
A hand flopped in front of my face, bringing me back to reality...
"Wha--oh--yeah..."
"Are you alright?"
"Yeah, why wouldn't I be?"

Lie.

"Liar," whispered Frankie.
How the hell does he manage to do that?
"Bri? Frankie? Mikey?"

I spun around to the call of our names.
"Hey Mac."
"Hey, what's up guys?"
"Nothing really, just heading down to the pier. Wanna come?"
"Yeah, sure, I was lookin' for something to do.
The pier was barely full even though the weather was b-e-a-utiful.
"I'm gunna check out the end of the board walk. You guys could go ride the rides," I said.
"You sure?" Mikey questioned.
"Yeah, you guys go ahead."
"I'll come with ya," said Mac as she linked my arm with hers and walked with me till the very end of the boardwalk.

"So how are you an Logan?" She smirked as she sat down on the faded wooden bench.
I smiled at her conversation starter.
"He seems like a really guys. Better then where I'm from."
"Yeah, he's cool. Better then some of the friends he's got," said Mac, spitefully chuckling.
"You mean Poot? Naw, he seems awesome."
"No, yeah Poot's great. You haven't met his other friends yet, I'm guessing."
I leaned against the wooden ledge disregarding the sounds it was making.
"Guess I haven't. Not so awesome, huh?"
"Awesome isn't exactly the word I'd choose. Let's just say that. But.. you know..Logan already talks about you a lot."
"Really? I don't know what there is to talk about." I confessed.
"Yeah," said Mac, shyly, " he speaks well of you, don't worry."
We laughed and I said, "Okay, good."
"Mhm..it's cute though, how he talks about you."
I didn't know how to respond so I just grinned.

"So you're from NJ, huh? Dirty Jersey?"
"Dirty Jersey's right. I love it there though. But down here doesn't seem too bad, either."
"Yeah, you learn to love it down here."

We got on to talking about our families and distant memories that made us giggle. We actually had a lot in common.
"So how long ya here for?"
"Entire summer. At first, I was bummed out but here I am and I don't think I'd wanna be anywhere else."
"Sweet. We should hang out again soon."
"Yeah, definitely."
We started heading back to the park of the boardwalk.

"Hey Bri?"
"Mhm?"
"Don't take this the wrong way. I mean..I love Lo and all but try not to be with him when he's drunk. He gets completely smashed with his friends sometimes. He isn't himself and all and you seem really cool, I don't want him to hurt you."
"Thanks." I said, fully meaning it.

Hmm...he didn't seem the type of kid to get hammered...

She beamed and took my arm and we skipped back in search of Frankie and Mikey.
"Hey Bri, Mac."
"Hey, Mike-n-ike...oh hey," I said.
When I turned I saw that Mikey was with a girl with a very familiar face standing next to him.

"Oh you're Jade...right?"