Hate, Love, and Sex Appeal
It Was Only a Kiss
I remembered last night clear as a bell. It wasn't a dream, it wasn't a nightmare; it was real. I don't understand why I didn't do anything to block it or try and stop it. There were many irritating questions zipping around my noggin but the main one I found myself dwelling on was:
Do I regret it?
If he had done this two weeks ago I don't think the guy would be able to make kids anymore. So... did I? Was he trying to get to me? Because if that was the case, he was doing one hell of a job. I didn't understand. I didn't think I trusted him, I really never have. I mean...he was always trying to get to me yet this was different. That much I knew.
Why was this so hard? It's Gerard Way. It shouldn't have to be this hard.
I hate him. He knew what he was doing last night and he knew he got to me real good last night as well. Yes, I admit it. He got to me last night. Big whoop.
He wasn't there when I woke up again. It was about six-thirty in the morning. He had been getting up earlier these days. But it was big house, avoiding him would be a piece of cake. I went downstairs to the kitchen, grabbed an apple, and went onto the back porch.
Ah, yes, that whole big house avoiding is easy bit....maybe not so easy.
I was still in the doorway and had already let go of the door. You could hear the faint tap as it shut. Gerard turned and looked over at me.
"Um...I was just--"
"You can stay. I don't mind. I like your company."
I contemplated even moving. Staying here most likely would end up being awkward. Going back inside...didn't have many downsides, rather than the awaiting awkward that would still be there when we got around to talking. Either way, being around him was awkward.
"I wouldn't care if you minded anyway. I would have done whatever, you know me."
I plopped down in a chair and faced the beach. I heard the scrapping of a chair against wood and suddenly his chair was right beside mine. It was eerily silent.
"So what the hell was up with last night?"
There...I asked it. I didn't want to break so fast but I had to ask it. He smirked as if laughing and saying 'haha I win'. So predictable.
"What'd you mean?"
"You know exactly what I mean."
"Enlighten me."
I glared over at him.
"Gerard."
"What?"
"Exactly. I want to know what was up."
He shifted around in his chair and folded his hands together.
"Do you regret it?"
"Don't do that. Just answer my question."
"Do what?"
"It's not a game just answer my question."
"Well, I kissed you and now I'm asking you if you regret kissing me back."
"But why?"
"Why what?"
"Did you kiss me?"
I sighed angrily and said, "You know what? Just forget it."
I got up and started making my way back into the house.
"You know...you never asked my question."
I chuckled and shook my head at how stupidly innocent he sounded. I closed the door behind me.
Yeah, like I'd really answer to him at all.
Do I regret it?
If he had done this two weeks ago I don't think the guy would be able to make kids anymore. So... did I? Was he trying to get to me? Because if that was the case, he was doing one hell of a job. I didn't understand. I didn't think I trusted him, I really never have. I mean...he was always trying to get to me yet this was different. That much I knew.
Why was this so hard? It's Gerard Way. It shouldn't have to be this hard.
I hate him. He knew what he was doing last night and he knew he got to me real good last night as well. Yes, I admit it. He got to me last night. Big whoop.
He wasn't there when I woke up again. It was about six-thirty in the morning. He had been getting up earlier these days. But it was big house, avoiding him would be a piece of cake. I went downstairs to the kitchen, grabbed an apple, and went onto the back porch.
Ah, yes, that whole big house avoiding is easy bit....maybe not so easy.
I was still in the doorway and had already let go of the door. You could hear the faint tap as it shut. Gerard turned and looked over at me.
"Um...I was just--"
"You can stay. I don't mind. I like your company."
I contemplated even moving. Staying here most likely would end up being awkward. Going back inside...didn't have many downsides, rather than the awaiting awkward that would still be there when we got around to talking. Either way, being around him was awkward.
"I wouldn't care if you minded anyway. I would have done whatever, you know me."
I plopped down in a chair and faced the beach. I heard the scrapping of a chair against wood and suddenly his chair was right beside mine. It was eerily silent.
"So what the hell was up with last night?"
There...I asked it. I didn't want to break so fast but I had to ask it. He smirked as if laughing and saying 'haha I win'. So predictable.
"What'd you mean?"
"You know exactly what I mean."
"Enlighten me."
I glared over at him.
"Gerard."
"What?"
"Exactly. I want to know what was up."
He shifted around in his chair and folded his hands together.
"Do you regret it?"
"Don't do that. Just answer my question."
"Do what?"
"It's not a game just answer my question."
"Well, I kissed you and now I'm asking you if you regret kissing me back."
"But why?"
"Why what?"
"Did you kiss me?"
I sighed angrily and said, "You know what? Just forget it."
I got up and started making my way back into the house.
"You know...you never asked my question."
I chuckled and shook my head at how stupidly innocent he sounded. I closed the door behind me.
Yeah, like I'd really answer to him at all.