Never Cover up What We Did With a Dress

The couch sank under my immense weight, forcing me to watch Manson's new song, in which Dita was preforming in the film clip. The baby kicked furiously inside me, and I groaned, grasping my front in an attempt to calm it down. It was like the baby knew who it's father was.

Demi appeared from the kitchen, smiling at me. She was about to head out to see Tony. Under my strict instructions, she and Tony had kept my very secret pregnancy a secret from Manson, even though the believed he should know. I could tell Demi was going to argue the point before she left.

"Manson and Dita are going to be there tonight," she said, "perhaps you should come?"

"Right, sure. Come with a pregnant stomach to face Dita, who probably despises me. Stand around all of you all night while you suck each other's faces off? I think not."

"You have to tell him about this baby, Chesney. Sooner or later, you have to. And it would hurt a lot less if you did it sooner."

"I'm not ruining his relationship for a second time. I can't picture the hurt look on his face again, knowing I inflicted it. I just can't."

"He doesn't love her." Demi said quietly before she left. "He always asks after you when he's alone. He's in love with you. Maybe this baby would bring you two to your senses."

"Demi! I'm not using my baby as a ploy to get with him!" I cried from the couch over the slamming of the front door.

"Whatever." She shouted back.

We had moved to San Francisco. I loved it here. It was closer to Manson, and Tony. I was overjoyed that Demi and Tony had such a successful relationship. They truely loved each other, and it was the sweetest thing.

__________________________________________________________________________________

Hours later, the sound of multipule people entering the apartment stirred me from my sleep on the couch. I opened my eyes and saw Demi, Manson and Tony enetering the kitchen. Manson said something I didn't hear properly, and Demi said,
"Sure, but she's asleep I think."

I snapped my head up and walked into the kitchen, all the while my stomach was errupting in butterflies, and my heart was pounding. The baby started kicking, harder and harder, until I actually, softly, cried out in pain.

"Chesney are you alright?" Demi asked.

"Yeah it's just the ba-" I cut myself off before I said the word. Manson was staring at my stomach is disbelief. Tony and Demi looked at him, and Demi smiled smuggly as she finished my sentence.

"Baby kicking." She said.

"Yeah. Can I talk to you in the bedroom, Demi?"

"Sure."

I slammed the door after me, sizing Demi up from the bed. I was so angry.

"What are you playing at? He's not stupid. It will only take him a matter of like, what, seconds to realise this is his baby?"

"Of course it will. That's the plan. He has to know. You hiding from him is wrong. It's not your fault you got pregnant."

"Not solely, no. But I don't want to mess up his life, okay? Just get them out of here."

"No."

"What?"

"I said no. This is my apartment too."

A light rap on the door silenced us both. I stared at the door. Demi called for whoever it was to come in. Manson stood there, staring at me, at my stomach.

"Can you leave us alone for a second?" He asked Demi. She nodded, and he walked past her, sitting on the bed. He beckoned for me to sit of his lap. When I didn't move he sighed.

"Is it mine?" He asked simply.

"I'm not complicating things for you again. You don't deserve it. Just please leave before I hurt you."

"Chesney, stop worrying about me and my feelings. I've been blamed for the fucking Columbine massacre, I think I can pull through. What do you want? What are you feeling? What about you?"

I walked over to him slowly. He parted his legs and I sat between them. Suddenly I was crying, blurting out everything I had covered up for the past eight and a half months.

"I want to be happy with you and this baby and my life. But you and Dita... I can't ruin that. I won't. I'm feeling... depressed. Flattened. Alone, stuck. I don't know what I'm meant to do. I won't go behind Dita's back, and I most certainly won't hurt you again like before..."

His lips touched mine softly. His arm wrapped around my stomach, holding his child and feeling it respond to his touch. I leaned my head into his chest and sighed. I loved him so much it almost killed me.

"Don't worry about hurting me. All I can tell you is the honest truth. I am not happy with Dita. And I haven't been for a long time. I love you. And now that you have this baby, it's just made everything so much clearer. I can't abandon you. I just... I don't think I can leave Dita. And I'm stuck. I just need to know I have you back, your support and your heart. Through anything. Can you promise me?"

"I can."

He kissed me again, but this time I was crying, and he was rubbing my stomach, soothing me, rocking me.

"I love you." I moaned, closing my eyes, wishing that Dita would go away, that all this heart ache didn't exsist, that it was only Manson and I and that our relationship wasn't a hurtful secret.

"I love you too, Chesney."

His head rested on my shoulder, and he too closed his eyes. He just held me. He didn't try to look at my face, he didn't try to kiss me. He just comforted me. Not an ounce of self fishness to it. Eventually we'd fallen asleep, just holding one another, and when I woke, I was screaming in pain.

"What's wrong?" He asked worriedly. "Is it the baby?"

"Manon, I think ... I think my water just broke."