Mental Fiction Follows Me

Jimmy's POV

"Do you wanna come with me today, Devin?" He pulled his eyes away from the TV screen and smiled up at me.

"Can I really come?" Devin asked.

"Of course you can. Uncle Brian wants to see you," I said and smiled down at him.

"Yay! I'll go get dressed!" Devin yelled. I watched him run up the stairs, and then I walked into the kitchen. Devin had been with me for three months now. I can honestly say that the little guy saved my life. I've been a different person since Devin came into my life, and it was a change for the good. They sent me his birth certificate and social secruity card in the mail, and he's now officially Devin Sullivan, no middle name. He'll be five next month, in June, so he'll start school this year.

"Daddy!" I turned around to see Devin with both of his arms raised in the air and his shirt twisted around them. It wasn't his pajama shirt, so I'm assuming he was trying to put it on.

"Hold on," I said and started untwisting it. I pulled it down over his head, and Devin looked down at his feet when I was through.

"I'm sorry," he whispered.

"Sorry for what?" I asked.

"For messing up my shirt." He was still looking at the ground, and I felt like I was going to cry for a second.

"Hey, look at me. You don't have to apologize for anything, okay? It's not your fault that your shirt got stuck. It happens to everyone, okay?" His wide brown eyes still looked sad, but he nodded his head.

"Okay."

"Now, do you want cereal or pop-tarts?" I asked and smiled. Devin's face lit up, and I already knew the answer.

"Pop-tarts!" he yelled.

"Go sit at the table and I'll bring them to you." He ran off, and I heard one of the chairs scrape against the floor as it was moved. I reached into one of the cabinets and grabbed the pop-tarts, and I put two in the toaster.

Devin still had his little moments. He'd always ask me if he could really go with me when I said we were going somewhere, and he'd apologize for little things. He wasn't a normal little boy, and I'm sure it had everything to do with his mother. It was the only thing I could think of. He had spilled his drink at dinner one time and then burst into tears, and then later confessed that he was scared of getting a spanking. I was determined to show him that I was nothing like his mother.

Devin finished his pop-tarts in record time, and then it took us ten minutes to get his shoes on. His old shoes had been the velcro kind, but I had bought him a whole new wardrobe. The kid had more clothes than he knew what to do with. Now I was teaching him how to tie his shoes.

"Do you remember why today is an important day?" I asked as we walked out the door. I glanced down at him as I locked the door, and he looked deep in thought.

"Aunt Nikki and Uncle Matt?" Devin asked and looked up at me.

"That's right." I lifted him up into the backseat of the truck into his booster seat, and then I buckled his seatbelt for him before climbing into the driver seat. It didn't take long to get to Matt's house, and I helped Devin down after we got there. Devin took off running towards the front door, which was open. Brian picked him up and threw him in the air, Devin was still really small for his age, and then balanced him on his hip.

"You made it just in time. Matt's starting to freak out," Brian said as I got closer.

"About what?" I asked.

"About everything," Brian said and turned around. I followed him into the house and closed the door behind me.

"What took you so long?" Matt asked.

"Am I late?" I asked with a smile.

"Just a little. Come on, get dressed. Move it, drummer boy!" Matt yelled over his shoulder.

"I told you he was freaking out," Brian said.

"He's just nervous. Watch Devin for me?"

"Yeah. Zacky and Johnny are in the living room," Brian said and walked off. I walked into one of the guestrooms and made a small face at the suit laying on the bed. I quickly changed into it, and then I walked into the living room. Devin turned around when he heard footsteps, and he smiled at me.

"You look funny, Daddy," he said with a small smile.

"Well, you're about to look funny too," I said as I picked him up off the couch. I went back to the same guest room, and I helped him into his little suit. He pulled at his little bowtie from time to time, but it was secured in its place.

"It's time to go!" Matt yelled.

"Where's the other guys?" Johnny asked.

"They're meeting us there!" Matt yelled.

"Scary Uncle Matt, huh?" I asked and looked down at Devin. The little boy just nodded his head. Devin and I got back in my truck, and the rest of the guys took Zacky's Escalade.

"Daddy?" I glanced in my rearview mirror, but Devin was looking out the window.

"Yeah?"

"Do I get a new mommy?" My hands tightened on the steering wheel, and I could feel my eyes burning with unshed tears. Lately, the only time I thought about Syd was late at night when I was alone, and I still dreamed about her constantly. She instantly rose into my thoughts now.

"I'm afraid it's just you and me now, buddy," I said. I was surprised that my voice came out even and smooth, because it felt like I was dying on the inside all over again.

"That's okay. I like having a daddy," Devin said. This time I did see Devin's face in the rearview mirror, and he was smiling at me.

I got to the church after the guys, because I got stuck at a red light. I held Devin's hand as we walked up the church steps, and some man opened the door for us. I smiled at him and said a quick thank-you, and the door closed behind us.

"Aunt Nikki!" Devin's hand left mine, and he took off running down the hallway. I tried to catch up with him, but he was too fast. He ran into Nikki's legs, and she instantly picked him and put him on her hip. I think we spoil him too much.

"How's my favorite munchkin?" Nikki asked.

"I look funny," Devin said and pulled on his bowtie again.

"I think you look very handsome. Do I look funny?" Devin shook his head hard enough to send his hair flying.

"You look pretty, Aunt Nikki," Devin said and smiled at her.

"Well, ain't you a charmer?" Tara said from the doorway beside Nikki. Devin's little cheeks turned red and he buried his face in Nikki's neck.

"Is that my little Devin? Come here!" Aiden said and gently took him from Nikki's room. Nikki made sure Aiden had a good hold on him, and then she turned to look at me.

"Jimmy, are you okay?" Nikki asked softly.

"Yeah, why?" Did I not look okay?

"You got a little tear, Jimbo," Deandra said from beside me. I touched under my eye and felt something wet, and I quickly wiped it away.

"Sorry, Nikki, it's just--"

"You don't have to explain anything, Jimmy. I know this must be hard on you," Nikki said quietly. I hadn't really given it all much thought, but Devin's question in the car...

"I'm fine, really. I just know that Syd would want to be here. She'd be really happy for you and Matt," I said. Nikki nodded her head and then dabbed at the corner of her eyes.

"I've been missing Syd," Deandra said quietly.

"Haven't we all?" Tiana asked and stopped beside her.

"Jimmy, you better go find the guys," Aiden said. I felt Devin take my hand, and I said goodbye to all the girls before walking a little farther down the hallway. I heard yelling from behind the door, and I slowly opened it up.

"Jimmy!" everyone yelled.

"Where have you been?!" Matt yelled.

"Talking to the future Mrs. Sanders," I said as I walked in.

"You saw her?" Matt asked. It was the first time he had sounded calm all day.

"Yep, sure did. I'm telling ya, man, you're not going to be able to take your eyes off her all day," I said and smiled at him.

"Hey! Is this the Avenged kid?" Craig asked and knelt down.

"Yep, this is Devin. Devin, I'd like you to meet some more friends of mine. This is Craig, Robert, Max, and Monte," I said and pointed. Devin waved shyly at them, and they all said hey to him.

"Guys, it's time!" Papa Gates yelled.

"I can do this," Matt mumbled and walked off. He left with Papa Gates, and the rest of us walked into the hallway.

"Can one of you guys take Devin with you?" I asked.

"I will. You ready to go sit down?" Max asked Devin. Devin looked up at me, and I nodded my head. He wrapped his arms around my legs.

"Bye, Daddy," he whispered. He let go of me and grabbed Max's hand, and I gave Devin a little wave before they left. Robert and Monte left a few moments later, and then I heard the girls come out of their room.

"Alright, everyone! Line up!" Nikki yelled. We all lined up the way we were told to, and then Papa Gates came back.

"Okay, Aiden and Johnny will walk out first, then Jimmy and Deandra, Brian and Tara, Zacky and Krys, Craig and Tiana, and Nikki and I are last. Wait for the music...now go!" The doors opened, and Aiden and Johnny started walking.

"Ready for this?" Deandra whispered. We had been matched up because she was tallest of the girls, except for Nikki.

"Let's go," I said as the doors opened again. Deandra took her place next to Aiden, and I stood next to Johnny. I watched as everyone else walked out, and then it was Nikki's turn. The music changed, and then the doors opened for the final time. I heard Matt let out a small gasp as Nikki walked into view, and Nikki's eyes were glued to Matt the entire time she walked up the aisle.

I listened as the preacher talked, and my thoughts once again drifted to Syd. She would be coming home in five months, just in time for all the holidays. She would have loved to be here too, to watch Nikki and Matt get married. She always said that those two were meant for each other, and I couldn't agree more.

"Do you, Matthew Charles Sanders, take Nikkita Nicole Johnson to be your lawful wedded wife for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, till death do you part?"

"I do," Matt said while slipping a ring onto Nikki's finger.

"Do you, Nikkita Nicole Johhnson, take Matthew Charles Sanders to be your lawful wedded husband for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, till death do you part?"

"I do," Nikki said and slipped a ring onto Matt's finger.

"By the power vested in me, I now pronounce you, man and wife. You may kiss the bride." Matt and Nikki shared their first kiss as a married couple, and the enitre church started yelling. There were also a few whistles and cat-calls. I wiped away another tear, and then joined in the celebration.