I'm Not Bulletproof
I'm Not Bulletproof
“Triinu, wake up,”
I flutter my eyes open at the sound of Alexi’s voice. He was smiling calmly down at me. I’ve must have fallen asleep for at least three hours or so.
Even after many hours of sleep I have gotten in the past few days still wasn’t enough. I never sleep this much.
I guess all of the stress must be getting to me. That or I’m depressed.
“Are you feeling sick?” Alexi asks, putting his hand to my forehead.
“I don’t know,” I chuckle slightly.
“Your temperature is normal. You’ve been sleeping a lot,”
“I know, I don’t know what’s wrong,”
“Your mom called, I said you were asleep,” he says. My pulse begins to quicken.
“What did she say?”
”Nothing, just wanted to check up on you,”
Why is it always me who needs to be checked up on? I am not the bad child, well, in my opinion at least.
Having different ethics from my family makes me the outcast. All of my siblings are different from each other; I’m just the only one that has enough courage to show it.
I rub my face with my hands to hide my bitterness towards my family.
“What the hell?” I say as I drag my finger across a painful spot on my forehead. I get up from the bed and walk into the bathroom.
I look in the mirror to see what it was; it was a big red pimple, right in the middle of my forehead. It was huge, painful and ugly.
I pound my hand on the counter in anger. Why do I always have to suffer?
I haven’t felt good about my appearance lately, and now I have another head growing on my forehead.
I pound my hand another four times. My whole forehead hurts from one pimple.
I take a square of toilet paper and press it firmly to my forehead.
As soon as I feel the pimple pop I apply some rubbing alcohol directly on the pimple. I wince at the burning sensation, but at least it will get rid of the pimple.
I gaze into the mirror and stare at my reflection. Pale skin, giant red mark on my forehead, sickly pale blue eyes and no strong features is what I see. My face doesn’t stand out in a crowd. I’m too simple.
I shrug and shut the light off.
I walk towards my room to hear Alexi strum some notes on his guitar. Please don’t give me more guitar lessons. You’re too good to waste your time on me.
When I walk into the room, Alexi motions me to sit in the chair that was positioned in front of him.
He smiles sweetly as I take a seat in the chair.
“I have a song to play for you,”
He clears his throat and begins to play.
"I never knew girls existed like you
But now that I do
I'd really like to get to know you
The girl's too young
She don't need any better
It's all coming back
I can feel it
The girl's too young
She don't know any better
It's all coming back
I can feel it
She is beautiful
The girl is beautiful
You're giving me rules and hints from all sides
And when you hit my back, you rub my eyes
The girl's too young
She don't need any better
It's all coming back
I can feel it
The girl's too young
She don't know any better
It's all coming back
I can feel it
And though I never know you
I look at your face.
To tell you that I love you
Don't know what to say
Give everything I got to the beautiful girl
The only thing I live for in the whole wide world
She is beautiful
The girl is beautiful
I ain't got nothing to lose
Going to throw it away
And talk to you
She looks good
And it's true
The girl is beautiful
She is beautiful
I ain't got nothing to lose
When I'm living one time
And I want you
She looks good
And it's true
The girl is beautiful
She is beautiful
She is beautiful
I ain't got nothing to lose (Nothing to lose)
Going to throw it away
And talk to you
She looks good
And it's true
The girl is beautiful
She is beautiful
I ain't got nothing to lose
And I'll never forget
When I saw you
She looks good
And it's true
The girl is beautiful
She is beautiful
While he was playing, I stare at him dumbfounded. Never in my life would I have imagined that someone would do this for me. Even though Alexi isn’t singing, but actually growling, it is still amazing.
I warm up as if my body is set on fire. All of the pain I have been feeling the past few days, no, it’s more like years, disappears in a flash.
I smile as the tears run down my cheeks. For the first time in years, my tears aren’t tears of sorrow, they’re tears of joy.
Alexi plays the final note of the song and smiles at me. His eyes read of warmth and light. I knew he understood the reason why I’m crying.
“I…” I try to find the right words, but nothing came out. I’m speechless. There are so many words I can say right now to describe these feelings, but they are all jumbled up in one big knot in my head.
I understand what I want now. I no longer have the fear of being broken.
I inch my way closer to Alexi. He looks at me with his deep blue eyes and I gently place my lips to his.
We then broke away seconds later only to come back together, but with more force this time.
I move my body closer to his and deepen the kiss. Alexi places his guitar besides him and grabs my waist.
He then leans back onto the bed, causing me to lie on top of him.
I open my mouth slightly and he took the opportunity and pushed his tongue in my mouth. Our tongues fought back and fourth.
Alexi messages my hips with his hands, the cold metallic bracelets sends a shiver up my spine.
We broke away a few minutes later to find ourselves blushing. I’ve never seen Alexi blush before, I hope I didn’t do anything wrong.
“Is that a yes?” he asks.
“Yes,” I say giving him a quick peck on the lips.
I know I made the right decision.
I flutter my eyes open at the sound of Alexi’s voice. He was smiling calmly down at me. I’ve must have fallen asleep for at least three hours or so.
Even after many hours of sleep I have gotten in the past few days still wasn’t enough. I never sleep this much.
I guess all of the stress must be getting to me. That or I’m depressed.
“Are you feeling sick?” Alexi asks, putting his hand to my forehead.
“I don’t know,” I chuckle slightly.
“Your temperature is normal. You’ve been sleeping a lot,”
“I know, I don’t know what’s wrong,”
“Your mom called, I said you were asleep,” he says. My pulse begins to quicken.
“What did she say?”
”Nothing, just wanted to check up on you,”
Why is it always me who needs to be checked up on? I am not the bad child, well, in my opinion at least.
Having different ethics from my family makes me the outcast. All of my siblings are different from each other; I’m just the only one that has enough courage to show it.
I rub my face with my hands to hide my bitterness towards my family.
“What the hell?” I say as I drag my finger across a painful spot on my forehead. I get up from the bed and walk into the bathroom.
I look in the mirror to see what it was; it was a big red pimple, right in the middle of my forehead. It was huge, painful and ugly.
I pound my hand on the counter in anger. Why do I always have to suffer?
I haven’t felt good about my appearance lately, and now I have another head growing on my forehead.
I pound my hand another four times. My whole forehead hurts from one pimple.
I take a square of toilet paper and press it firmly to my forehead.
As soon as I feel the pimple pop I apply some rubbing alcohol directly on the pimple. I wince at the burning sensation, but at least it will get rid of the pimple.
I gaze into the mirror and stare at my reflection. Pale skin, giant red mark on my forehead, sickly pale blue eyes and no strong features is what I see. My face doesn’t stand out in a crowd. I’m too simple.
I shrug and shut the light off.
I walk towards my room to hear Alexi strum some notes on his guitar. Please don’t give me more guitar lessons. You’re too good to waste your time on me.
When I walk into the room, Alexi motions me to sit in the chair that was positioned in front of him.
He smiles sweetly as I take a seat in the chair.
“I have a song to play for you,”
He clears his throat and begins to play.
"I never knew girls existed like you
But now that I do
I'd really like to get to know you
The girl's too young
She don't need any better
It's all coming back
I can feel it
The girl's too young
She don't know any better
It's all coming back
I can feel it
She is beautiful
The girl is beautiful
You're giving me rules and hints from all sides
And when you hit my back, you rub my eyes
The girl's too young
She don't need any better
It's all coming back
I can feel it
The girl's too young
She don't know any better
It's all coming back
I can feel it
And though I never know you
I look at your face.
To tell you that I love you
Don't know what to say
Give everything I got to the beautiful girl
The only thing I live for in the whole wide world
She is beautiful
The girl is beautiful
I ain't got nothing to lose
Going to throw it away
And talk to you
She looks good
And it's true
The girl is beautiful
She is beautiful
I ain't got nothing to lose
When I'm living one time
And I want you
She looks good
And it's true
The girl is beautiful
She is beautiful
She is beautiful
I ain't got nothing to lose (Nothing to lose)
Going to throw it away
And talk to you
She looks good
And it's true
The girl is beautiful
She is beautiful
I ain't got nothing to lose
And I'll never forget
When I saw you
She looks good
And it's true
The girl is beautiful
She is beautiful
While he was playing, I stare at him dumbfounded. Never in my life would I have imagined that someone would do this for me. Even though Alexi isn’t singing, but actually growling, it is still amazing.
I warm up as if my body is set on fire. All of the pain I have been feeling the past few days, no, it’s more like years, disappears in a flash.
I smile as the tears run down my cheeks. For the first time in years, my tears aren’t tears of sorrow, they’re tears of joy.
Alexi plays the final note of the song and smiles at me. His eyes read of warmth and light. I knew he understood the reason why I’m crying.
“I…” I try to find the right words, but nothing came out. I’m speechless. There are so many words I can say right now to describe these feelings, but they are all jumbled up in one big knot in my head.
I understand what I want now. I no longer have the fear of being broken.
I inch my way closer to Alexi. He looks at me with his deep blue eyes and I gently place my lips to his.
We then broke away seconds later only to come back together, but with more force this time.
I move my body closer to his and deepen the kiss. Alexi places his guitar besides him and grabs my waist.
He then leans back onto the bed, causing me to lie on top of him.
I open my mouth slightly and he took the opportunity and pushed his tongue in my mouth. Our tongues fought back and fourth.
Alexi messages my hips with his hands, the cold metallic bracelets sends a shiver up my spine.
We broke away a few minutes later to find ourselves blushing. I’ve never seen Alexi blush before, I hope I didn’t do anything wrong.
“Is that a yes?” he asks.
“Yes,” I say giving him a quick peck on the lips.
I know I made the right decision.