My Immortal

“So it is you,” his voice was velvety but full of anger.

“Yeah,” Jo said not moving from the spot.

“Look,” Johnny started to say but the look he got made him shut up.

“No, it’s ok, I can take it,” Jo said nodding for him to go out back with the boys.

“Are you sure?” Johnny asked and she nodded he understood this was something she needed to do on her own. They both watched Johnny go.

“How could you do that? How could you sit there and know what you were doing? Watching everyone cry over you,” he said not moving his fists clenched.

“I had my reasons,” Jo said, she didn’t really want to continue the conversation but he didn’t look like he was done.

“I’m listening,” he said finally moving and sitting down resting his arms on the counter and his head in his hands. He looked up at her when she didn’t speak.

“What do you want to know?” Jo asked.

“Why?”

“I was pregnant,” she said fluidly.

“So, we would of helped all of us,” he said looking at her. His eyes had lost their warmth, it wasn’t hatred it was pity.

“Right? Before or after the concert, before or after the parties? Do you think I wanted to make everyone give up their life because I wasn’t careful?” Jo said realizing for the first time how stupid her reasoning sounded.

“We would of done that.”

“I didn’t want you to, any of you.” Jo just laid her hands on the counter.

“You told me to take care of everyone, and I did, but I can’t do it anymore,” he said.

“I know, I wish I could take back time, but I don’t regret anything I’ve done, but you guys need to understand I’m not the same person I was.”

“No you’re Lydia Montgomery.”

“Yeah, and I have responsibilities,” Jo said.

“Hey, Jo can we get food?” Jimmy walked into the kitchen, he froze.

“So how long have you known?”

“Um, hey, about 2 years, um...what are you doing here?” Jimmy asked.

“He found out, so he came to face me.” Jo sat down.

“How can you not fucking tell us?”

“It wasn’t my secret to tell,” Jimmy shrugged.

“What the fuck? So you bring us to meet her, but you can’t tell anyone who she is, let me guess Johnny knows.”

“He listened to us talking and we had to tell him,” Jo said.

“So if you had a choice you wouldn’t tell anyone?” His eyes frightened Jo.

“No, you’ve all moved on, you all have lives, and so do I. What’s the point in bringing up the past?” Jo said going about the kitchen trying to keep busy.

“But, we loved you, all of us, Zacky loved you, Matt loved you, you don’t give a shit do you?” He was getting angry, Jimmy had placed his hand on him to keep him from doing anything foolish.

“They don’t need to know,” Jo said trying not to cry.

“They should, they should know what kind of heartless bitch you are,” he stood up.

He was about to leave, but James came in with Johnny and Bam. “Hey, Bri Bri,” James said. Everyone stared as James ran into Brian’s arms. No one was more surprised then Jo.

“Hey little man, have you been good?” Brian asked kissing the top of his head.

“Yeah, I’ve been really good,” James said wiggling out of his arms and running to Jo, she picked him up and looked at Brian in disbelief.

“I’m gonna go,” Brian said. He was walking towards the door, but Jo gave James to Jimmy and ran after him.

“What the fuck was that?” Jo screamed.

Brian stopped at the door, he had his hand on the handle. “You’re not the only one with secrets,” he said as he put on his sunglasses and walked out the door. Something was wrong very wrong, Jo didn’t have the energy to go after him.

She needed to make sense of what had just happened.