Dear Gravity, You Held Me Down in This Starless City

The next morning, I woke up to Zacky’s tattooed arm slung around my waist.
I bit my lip as I took in his features. I really missed being in his arms since it had been almost a month since we had had sex with each other. I knew it was a bad decision on my part.

“Good morning,” I whispered as Zacky opened his eyes.

“Good morning. Did you sleep well?” he asked.

“Mhmm.”

He kissed me and then got up out of my bed.

“I should probably get back to my room.”

“Probably.”

He got dressed and then I watched him walk out of my room.

I grabbed my phone from the nightstand. I had a new text from Rob, so I opened my EnV2 to read it.

I already miss you.

I felt like puking because I knew I had messed up everything Rob and I had going for us. Zacky is my past and he needs to stay there. Rob is my future. I like him so much, but I haven’t been acting like it. I really feel like a whore now. I mean, I’ve slept with two different people in the span of a month and I’m not dating either of them.

Rob only knows about Padge. He has no clue that I slept with Zack for a whole week before I went to see him in Seattle. I really up screwed on this whole thing.

I miss you, too.

I didn’t lie. I did miss him.

I got up and then walked into the bathroom to take a shower.

I ended up getting dressed in this outfit.

Today was going to be awkward, I knew it.

I walked down stairs and was met by Cassi and Brandi glaring at me.

“What?”

“Don’t what us. You know what you did with Zack last night. You need to tell Rob,” Cassi said.

“Rob isn’t my boyfriend. It doesn’t matter,” I lied.

“Right, and I’m the fucking Pope. Stop fucking around with Zacky and get with Rob already,” Brandi rolled her eyes.

Later on that night, I was just sitting around when I grabbed my phone off my bed. I looked through my contacts before I found Rob’s number and hit send.

It went straight to voicemail.

“Hey Rob, its Maylene. Call me back when you get this because I need to talk to you.”

I pressed the end button and then grabbed my lap top to surf the internet for awhile. Twenty minutes later, Money Honey by Lady Gaga blared out of my phone.

Rob

I took a breath before I answered, “Hey.”

“Hey, you said you need to talk to me,” Rob’s smooth voice came through the phone.

“Yeah, um…gah, I really don’t want to do this over the phone. Anyway, I, um, slept with Zacky last night and it also happened the whole week before I came out to see you. I swore that it would never happen again after that week because I realized how much I liked you, but obviously I still had some feelings for Zacky. It is completely over between us now and you won’t have to worry about him interfering anymore. Every time I was with him, I wished it was you. I know you probably hate me right now because things were going so great. I always find some way to fuck things up. I’m really sorry Rob.”

It was silent except for Rob’s breathing on the other end of the phone for two minutes. I imagine he was probably trying not to yell at me.

“Rob?”

“I don’t even know how to respond to that Maylene. Once again, things have gotten fucked up because of something you did. I really thought we had something great going for us. Apparently not. Yeah, you said it was over between you two, but you guys have so much history and it’s obvious you belong with him and not me.”

“But I don’t want him. I want you Rob.”

“I really like you May, I do, but right now, I need some time to think, okay?”

I didn’t get a chance to reply because he hung up on me.

Little did I know that that phone call would be the last I’d hear from Rob until November.