Let's Hear It for America's Pastime

[title credit goes to sarah. haha.]

Sheesh. Remind me why I agreed to this again?

Oh yeah. Because I’m desperately lonely and Pete wont stop reminding me. Great.

“Okay, Patrick. You’ll be standing right here in front of this door, waiting for the girls to get here…” one of the crew members droned. I looked around me at the elegant set in amusement. It was set up to look like “a bohemian paradise” as the producers described it. To me, it looked like a bad take on The Bachelor. Not that I would know anything about that.

I was currently standing in front of an oversized entrance into the main room where I would be allowed to mingle with the 25 girls the board had chosen for me. Before that, I had the chance to be introduced to each girl individually as she arrived. Wow, this really was like a bad version of The Bachelor.

After the main producer was finished explaining exactly what he wanted to happen to the camera guys, he swished (and I mean swished) his way over to my side. His beady eyes looked me up and down, probably checking for any wardrobe malfunctions.

“Okay, Pat… you remember everything we went over, correct?” he asked me in the most outrageous voice I had ever heard. It was indescribably girly and bossy.

“Yes,” I answered, not bothering to correct him about my name. Believe me, I’ve tried.

Without another word, Mr. Prissy strutted back to his director’s chair behind the cameras and scrunched his lips together.

“Send in the girls,” he ordered, snapping his fingers and pointing at the camera to my left with a big white ‘5’ plastered to it’s side.

And with that, girl number one entered.

She looked stunning in a long, flowing dress the color of red wine. She smiled kindly at me and brushed a hand through her caramel hair. As soon as she was by my side, I completely froze up. Mr. Prissy’s eyes bore into my head as I stared straight at the girl in front of me.

Luckily, she saved me.

“Uh, hi,” she started, holding out a slender hand for me to shake. I took it quickly, regaining my computer in a not-so-smooth way. “I’m Kristine.”

“Hey. I’m Patrick. It’s great to meet you. Where are you from?” I asked, following the questions the producer had told me to ask.

“New York City,” she told me. I nodded and motioned with my arm for her to go inside.

“Well, I guess I’ll see you inside?” I asked lamely. Kristine beamed and stepped behind me to enter the main room.

Mr. Prissy nodded his approval and sent in girl number two.

It went from there in such a blur, a mix of pretty colorful dresses and shiny smiles.

Finally, after I’d long lost count of the girls I’d met, the producer said something in a walky-talky and pushed me into the room. A room full of beautiful women faced me, all looking up at me curiously. Mr. Prissy gave me the go-ahead sign.

“So, now that I’ve had the chance to be introduced to you all, I’d like to take the chance to get to know you girls before I decide the ten who will be staying with me in Chicago,” I recited, trying to remember everybody’s names.

Camera’s were staring at me and trying to catch the girls’ reactions. They crawled over the entire room like a bad bug-infestation. I wasn’t quite sure how I was going to get through the next few months with them following my every move.

I stood in my place awkwardly, not sure of what to do. Mr. Prissy gave me a harsh shove into the group of girls. And just like that, as if someone had pressed the play button, the party started.

I sure as hell wasn’t ready for this, but I took a deep breath and remembered what Pete had told me earlier that day before we arrived at set.

“Come on, Patrick. You don’t want to be alone forever do you?”

God, I hate that man.