I Never Meant to Hurt You

“Shannon is arriving.” Jared said from the living room.

“Hun, I’m having a girl’s afternoon. I’ll come before dinner time okay?” I said.

“Don’t worry about anything just have fun.” Jared said kissing me.

I arrived at Jo’s apartment and she opened the door hugging me.

“Mrs. Leto!” She greeted laughing.

“Did Bia sleep here?” I asked her.

“Yeah she did. She went home 1 hour ago.” She said.

“I feel awful, my father re-opened my hole.” I said burying my head in my hands.

“Hun we both know you dad doesn’t deserve to see you like this.” Jo said giving me her hands.

“The worst is that he looks at me not like Paty but like Bela. I’m not my mother Jo! The more years pass the more I look like her. My father is frustrated for her death and when he looks at me he remembers her.” I said.

“Paty, it wasn’t your fault. You weren’t a rebel teen you were perfect! You studied, you never drank, you never smoked, and you never tried drugs. I think your father should be proud.” Jo said.

“Jo we both know my father always had a hard time on expressing himself especially his emotions.” I said.

I was surprised I wasn’t crying. My family was a hard thing to talk about specially the history after my mom’s death.

“Look let’s forget about this. Let’s go out have some lunch and go to the movies!” Jo said.

“Yeah my favorite program!” I laughed.

The lunch was a little crazy, with some paparazzi behind us all the way taking pictures of everything we ate. At least they were polite enough to not approach much.

“What are going to see?” I asked.

“YES MAN!” Jo yelled.

“JIM CARREY!” I said hugging the publicity with the picture of the movie.

“Paty behave.” Jo said laughing.

“You are right, Jared can never find about this.” I whispered laughing.

We bought the tickets and we had a fantastic afternoon. We stopped at a magazine store and we watched all the gossip magazines.

“’Jared and Paty reunited!’, ‘Is Jared Leto finally caught up to a single girl?’, ‘Patrícia by: Perez Hilton’.” I read some titles.

I opened the Perez Hilton part of the magazine and I started reading. Basically he thought I was blind for loving a douchebag. DOUCHEBAG? I’ll show you! I thought. I continued and he said that my style wasn’t that bad but I wasn’t a fashion diva, he said I had talent for acting but not for picking boyfriends. He said that he thinks that the whole dead thing Jared did was just publicity but that he believed that I as a victim and that he actually hoped to meet me!

“Jo, read this.” I said.

Jo burst out laughing.

“You would kick this guy, he practically talks bad about every actor you like!” She said.

I kept reading through magazines, the amount of news about us was amazing! Photos of me and Jared entering my apartment, on our house in California, photos of me crying…

“Why do they take pictures of us inside the car? It’s ridiculous.” I stated.

“Pats relax okay? Celebrity life hun.” Jo said.

“I should be used to this.” I said placing the magazines in their place.

“You’ll never get used to it, I know it.” Jo stated.

“Let’s go the Leto’s are in my house.” I said.

“Is Shannon there?” She asked shaking a little.

“Yeah why hun?” I asked her.

“Well when I found about Jared I had a fight with him and we haven’t seen each other ever since.” Jo said sadly.

“You should talk to him, seriously. We both know you love him.” I smiled at her.

“More?!” I whined when I sppoted more paparazzi.

“They really like you.” Jo said shocking her head while we entered her car. I immediately put my sunglasses on my face and my hoodie in my head, hiding from them.

I sighed relieved when I entered my house, Jo closed the door behind her and I walked to the living room. I took my coat off and I looked for Jared, nobody in sight.

“J?” I called.

“Hey Paty look at this.” Jo said handing me a note.

“Hi love. I went to the airport to pick up Shannon, don’t worry we’ll bring dinner. Love you JL’ I read to myself.

I sighed.

“I know that sigh! Just don’t get all in love around me!” Jo said.

“In 2 months we’ll be 1 year together.” I said excitedly.

“I don’t know if we should do like a little party or a romantic 2 thing.” I said.

“In my opinion a trip for 2 is just fine. Even if you wanted to go to Finland Jared would say yes.” Jo chuckled.

I blushed I wasn’t planning on Finland maybe Brazil or some European country like London or Paris.

“So what are we going to do?” I asked.

“SingStar?” Jo asked.

“Yeah let’s go!” I said.

I had SingStar Abba for some reason and we started singing like we did when we were teens.

“Mamma Mia here we go again!” Jo sang.

“Mamma how can I resist you?” I sang.

Suddenly two figures appeared staring, I fell from the couch to find Jared and Shannon laughing like crazy.

“Enough kids.” I said smiling sarcastically.

“Love don’t be mad, you both just sing so well.” Jared said grabbing my hand pulling me to my feet.

“J let’s go, they need to talk.” I whispered grabbing his hand. I smiled at Shannon and I looked at Jo.

“What’s wrong?” Jared asked.

“They’re mad.” I said peeking through my bedroom’s door.

Jared chuckled and he pulled me inside the room.

“No peeking, let them have some privacy.” He said , placing his hands in my waist, guiding me towards the bed.

He grabbed our guitars and he handed me one.

“We don’t do this for ages, let’s practice.” Jared said making me blush.

“I can’t.” I said.

“Why?” Jared asked his beautiful icy blue eyes travelling my body.

“I’m embarrassed.” I said blushing even more.

“With what?” Jared said smiling.

He pulled me to his lap, while kissing my cheek and then going the way down to my neck.

“You. You work so hard while teaching me and I’m afraid I’ll be a total failure.” I said resting my head in his shoulder.

“Even if you fail you’ll make me proud.” Jared said smiling down at me.

I blushed while he bent down to kiss me sweetly. He gave me a guitar confidently and I started playing ‘Savior’.

“Until you crush, until you burn,
Until you lie, until you learn,
Until you see, until you believe.” Jared sang.

“Until you fight, until you fall,
Until the end of everything at all,
Until you die, until you’re alive.” I sang.

“Don’t save me.” Jared sang placing his guitar beside me.

“Don’t save me ‘cause I don’t care.” I sang smiling at him while he pushed me down softly with him on top of me.

“Don’t save me, don’t save me.” I whispered pulling Jared towards me kissing him passionately.

“Thanks for saving me.” I chuckled resting my nose in his.

I closed my eyes for a moment just thinking about our life as husband and wife.

“Are you imagining us as Mr. and Mrs. Leto?” I asked him smiling.

“Yes and I couldn’t be prouder of who I chose to be Mrs. Leto.” Jared said his hands travelling to my back.

“I’m a little nervous about it, our lives are going to be built together. It’s a big commitment.” I said.

“I’m ready for it.” Jared said.

“I’m ready too, as long as you are by my side, I’m fine.” I said grabbing his hand tightly.