I Never Meant to Hurt You

I woke up in the middle of the night, Jared and the guys weren’t back and only God knew how I needed to cuddle with him now. I hadn’t been able to sleep, my dad’s wedding was kicking hard and I started thinking if Jared should come with me because I wanted him to but this was a test. I had to face my dad alone sooner or later and with Jared there it would only make my dad’s hate for him grow. I rolled to my belly when I heard quiet laughter, I didn’t move when the door to the bedroom opened carefully.

“Nighty Night!” Shannon yelled.

“Sleep tight daddy!” Jared yelled back as he closed the door quietly.

I saw his shadow move carefully as he started undressing then he lifted the sheets carefully and lay down beside me placing his arm gently around my waist probably trying to not wake me up. I smiled as I kept quiet Jared deserved to have fun and not be bothered with my family problems. I sighed as I fell asleep.

“Paty…” Jared whispered kissing my cheek as I smiled.

“Morning.” I said just opening one eye to see Jared’s big blue eyes staring down at me.

“Morning love!” He said excitedly pulling me against his chest making me laugh.

“Hyper?” I asked sitting on the bed as Jared jumped from it smiling widely.

“Happy!” He said almost in a singing voice.

“Why?” I asked not being able to resist all his cuteness.

“Well my nephews were born yesterday and…” He said as he entered the bathroom.

“And what?” I asked.

“And…” Jared said in a teasing tone.

“And what?” I asked with curiosity as I entered the bathroom myself.

"Tomorrow we have a meeting.” Jared said.

I gave him a weird look making him laugh his arms wrapping around my waist.

“With a wedding planner.” Jared said my arms wrapping around his neck instantly as I smiled in excitement.

“YAY!” I said as I jumped in his arm both of us laughing loudly.

“It’s happening.” Jared said bursting in happiness.

“I know can you believe it? Shannon’s a daddy, you are going to be officially married, Tomo is well…” I said.

“Very well committed.” Jared said completing my sentence.

“Indeed and Tim? He’s very quiet about it but I bet that he has some girl around.” I said feeling my eyes shining.

“I don’t know, he’s really quiet about that.” Jared smiled.

“What are you guys doing today?” I asked.

“Well Shannon will spend all his time before the sound check on the hospital and we have some interviews that I would like you to come with us ‘cause who knows, we might have some time between them to have fun.” Jared said winking as I smiled at him.

“Okay sunshine, then let’s get ready!” I said kissing him sweetly.

I went back to the room and I opened the closet door thinking of what to wear, I chose a pair of black skinny jeans, a blue tank top with a small ribbon on the left side and a pair of black and white vans.

“Ready?” I asked.

“Yes.” Jared said opening the door and letting me pass.

“Morning!” I said when I spotted Tomo, Shannon and Tim outside the tour bus.

“Hello hottie!” Shannon winked hugging me.

“Going to see the boys?” I asked smiling.

“Yes, wanna join?” Shannon asked holding a basket with toys and flowers.

“I’ll go there later okay? Hug them for me.” I said.

“Alright! See you dudes later!” Shannon said excitedly as he walked off.

I was impressed that he was able to sleep he was so excited that he could burst with so many energy. I giggled as Jared placed his around my shoulder, he had his aviators in his face covering his beautiful eyes and we started walking around.

“Where are we going?” I asked as Jared kissed my head while we stopped in the middle of a street.

“I entered here last night randomly and I thought you would like it.” He said as both of us stared at the window of a café with tables outside.

“Let’s stay outside, it’s sunny today.” I smiled.

“Okay I’ll go inside and bring something to eat.” Jared said as I sat down with my face towards the sun watching people pass.

I put my Ray Ban glasses on when Jared arrived with two trays and placed one in front of me, I was delighted.

“Oh man…” I started when I saw the slice of chocolate cake in front of me.

Jared giggled as he sipped on his coffee and I intertwined my legs enjoying the food as I noticed that people were slowly starting to recognize us as well as paparazzi. Jared and I kept talking when he took something from his jeans back pocket and gave it to me, it was an envelop full of pictures of venues.

“I asked Emma to check some places and I’ve written where they are in the back.” Jared said trying to not show much enthusiasm though I knew he was excited, I picked a picture of an enormous room that was looked like a ball room but with a more classic style.

I turned the picture and it said Rome behind it, my eyes widened in surprise and I released a small scream.

“What?” Jared asked.

“Rome? ROME!” I yelled happily.

I had always told Jared that my fantasy place to marry was Italy, I never knew why but I wanted it more than anything else. My eyes shined as I kept seeing more stunning pictures some in Paris, The Carribean, London, N.Y.

“Any favorites?” Jared asked.

“I like the Roman venue.” I said.

“I prefer Paris after all that’s where we met.” Jared said smiling sweetly his hand squeezing mine softly.

I smiled widely at him as we stood up and started walking back to the tour bus.

“And about the honeymoon?” I asked.

“Let me handle it.” Jared smiled.

“It’s our wedding, we should do it together.” I wined.

“Please?” Jared asked.

“Oh okay, I would trust you my life so I guess that the honeymoon will be in the greatest hands.” I said kissing Jared’s lips tenderly, his arm went around my waist pulling me closer to his chest but his glasses almost fell on my eyes making me laugh.

“Let’s drop by the hospital?” I asked.

“Sure.” Jared said taking the SUV’s keys from his pocket and opening the car.

~~That night~~

“Paty.” Jared called from the room.

"Coming!” I yelled back as I walked inside the bedroom closing the door behind me.

“When were you going to tell me?” Jared asked with my father’s wedding invitation in his hand.

I gulped looking at him with trembling eyes.

“I… I’m sorry.” I said.

“Hun its okay I just thought you trusted me more.” Jared said disappointedly.

“It wasn’t on purpose it’s just… it breaks my heart to see that my dad forgot my mom completely. How could he?” I asked out loud.

By this time Jared was already hugging me tightly against him as tears threatened to leave my eyes but they didn’t I was just overwhelmed by a wave of sadness and depression that brought me back to when my mom died.

~~April 5th~~

I stared at the black short dress in front of me, I wasn’t sure if I was going to attend but I had told my dad I would and not going would just give him a reason to call me a coward. I sighed as I slipped into the dress and walked to the bathroom.

“You don’t have to do it alone.” Jared said.

“I need to face them, please understand.” I said.

“Anything for my smile to be back.” Jared said in a careful tone wrapping his arms around me as we stared into the mirror in front of us.

“After today I’ll be myself again. I promise.” I said as I turned around to kiss Jared’s lips slowly but sweetly.

“Try to have fun.” He said smiling and caressing my face.

“I will, have an awesome day hun!” I said as he smiled brightly at me and closed the door behind him.

Jared was going to airport, he had been a sweetheart and he had spent the night with me in Lisbon sense the wedding was going to happen in Algarve. He was busy with interviews, our wedding, concerts and other things he didn’t tell me but he was still there and I couldn’t wait to catch the 1 am plane back to L.A.

I turned around again, applied some makeup and I let my hair loose with its usual curly tips. I looked at myself and I felt ready to go, I put some heels on and I grabbed my small purse. I exited my apartment and outside a car was waiting with my sister already inside waiting.

“Hi Bia.” I said as I sat next to her.

“Hi sis, how are you feeling?” She asked.

“Not good but I’m managing.” I said smiling weakly.

Bia squeezed my hand sweetly but I knew she was facing this better than I was, she wouldn’t face our dad like I did but after all I was the older sister and the one who saw our dad’s mess from the beginning while Bia grew up not understanding the monster our dad was becoming thanks to Lucy.

After 3 hours of car driving, we finally arrived at the church. Without a surprise my grandma Rose, my mother’s mom wasn’t there but my dad’s family was all there with their fake smiles and arrogant attitudes. I tried my best to seem happy as I greeted everyone when my dad arrived in a black Ferrari. Everyone greeted him ‘What am I doing here?” I thought after all I wasn’t part of them anymore my other family didn’t even call me on Christmas but I had been nice to them, my dad’s only concern was to tell me that Jared wasn’t good enough to be my husband but I was still standing on the door of his wedding church.

“You came.” My dad said nervously adjusting his black tie around his whit shirt’s neck.

“Of course she did!” My aunt Lina said.

I stood in the same place, there wasn’t a single good person there that I would want to join but I forced my lips to form a smile. My father entered the church followed by his brothers and his best man as I was told where I should sit ending up between my sister and one of our still cool cousins. Finally everyone went silent and the traditional wedding song started and Lucy walked down the aisle with her son’s arm locked with hers an enormous smile plastered in her face, I felt like throwing up.

I contained my tears, how could my dad see anything right in this? The ceremony was boring as expected and it took more than an hour though I drove out into space after the first fifteen minutes.

“Paty?” Bia whispered as everyone stood up.

I looked at her absently and I shook my head heavily. I stood up without wanting too and I simple stood there, not clapping and not smiling. Fortunately the recently married were going in a car of their own while Bia and I had to go in a limousine with all of our cousins, aunts and uncles. They all started their small talks when I felt a hand on top of mine.

“Hi little cousin.” Joseph said smiling at me.

The cousin everyone thought I would date, yes even in my family they had their little arranged marriages.

“Hi Seph.” I smile back.

“Are you holding?” He asked concernedly.

“Yes don’t worry. How have you been?” I asked.

“Oh you know construction is not the happiest business to work in but it’s good enough for me.” He said.

“And about girls?” I grinned.

“You know I’m faithful to you.” He laughed quietly while I joined him.

“Why didn’t he come with you?” He asked with his bright brown eyes looking straight into my own.

“This is kind of a single experience. My dad and Jared don’t like each other much.” I said sighing.

“Don’t worry I know he makes you happy. Your grandma Rose told me everything when I returned from Sweden.” He said.

Joseph was the only cousin that actually related to my mother’s side and that was the reason why I liked him so much. He was the only one that actually tried to understand me and not immediately judge me.

Soon enough we arrived at the hotel and the venue was the expected manly Lucy’s taste. The theme was love itself so there were hearts and cupids everywhere Cheesy! I thought a little creeped out as the wedding planner pointed at where I should sit, thankfully I was next to Joseph.

“Hello Patrícia” Avery deep male voice greeted.

I looked back to see William, Lucy’s son smiling brightly at me.

“William…” I said as Joseph’s leg touched mine lightly.

“How are you?” He asked.

“Fine and you?” I asked.

“Amazing, we’re officially brothers.” He grinned sitting beside me.

I sighed deeply, Ass I thought. The lunch went by slowly but normally and then the typical bride moment where she would throw her bouquet and then the dance started.

“Are you going to stay there?” My father asked.

“Yes.” I said.

“Moody?” He asked.

“Disappointed.” I concluded.

“Thank you for coming anyway.” My father said going towards Lucy.

I stood up and I started walked towards the exit, enough humiliation, I couldn’t hold anymore.

“PATRÍCIA!” My father yelled and I shivered.

“Stay!” He said trying to seem excited but I bet he was angry that his lovely daughter wanted to leave early.

“I can’t daddy, I have things to do.” I said with my hand resting in the door handle.

The music stopped and I felt the embarrassment take over the family as my father stood with his bride on one side and his daughter in the other. I turned around to face him and he was mad.

“You always have things to do by the way where’s Jared? Did he leave you so soon?” My father asked with the intent to hurt.

“No you know that he is on tour. By the way where’s grandma Rose?” I asked.

“Patrícia…” My father started.

“Oh wait you ignore her right? Because she didn’t accept this whole bullshit of a marriage. Guess what I don’t too and that’s why I’m leaving. I’m sick of pretending that I’m happy for this when I’m not!” I said raising my tone of voice.

“You want me to be alone for the rest of my days?” My father asked.

“No but I don’t want you marrying that woman, because of her we barely talked for years now. Do you like that? Because of her you turned your back to the people that helped us when mom had cancer, you even turned your back to me when I told you that I was going to marry. Do you remember what you said? You told me that the divorce would come a week after the honeymoon dad!” I said tears streaming down my eyes.

“Excuse me!” A smile formed in my face as I felt an arm wrap around my waist.

“What are you doing here?” I asked smiling up at him.

“Saving our reputation sweet cheeks.” Jared said as he faced my dad.

“I’m very sorry for being late Mr. Marques but my band is on tour right now so I hope you understand.” Jared said.

“Of course, glad you joined us.” My dad said smiling nervously.

“I’m sorry to announce that Paty and I have to leave. We have a wedding to plan. I hope a man of your stature understands.” Jared said teasing him.

“And babies to see.” Jared said.

I heard everyone gulp as I giggled.

“My nephews. So have a nice night!” Jared announced as he turned us around and we walked victoriously out of the wedding venue.

“Where’s Bia?” I asked.

“With Tomo and out of here, she didn’t see the public fight.” Jared said.

“You look cute.” I chuckled.

“Thank you, you are very sexy yourself.” Jared said smirking.

I smiled as I placed myself more close to him, I felt like I had finally gone threw the biggest stone in my life, my father and Lucy. Finally I felt free.