I Never Meant to Hurt You

“He’s what?!” I heard someone yell.

“That son of a bitch! I’m going to kill him!” I heard someone else yell in responce.

“Hey hold it he’s my brother!” I recognized Shannon's voice.

“HEY! SHUT THE FUCK UP. Don’t you dare to fucking judge me Syn.” I heard Jared's voice say. JARED? I thought.

“Shannon…” I whispered weakly.

“Paty? Jesus she’s waking up!” Shannon yelled happily making me smile.

“Hold on. My head hurts.” I said lifting my hand to my forehead to find another hand on my forehead. I opened my eyes weakly to find Syn’s hand in my forehead a playful grin on his face.

“Hi Sin boy.” I said.

“Welcome back angel girl.” Syn grinned kissing my cheek lightly.

“Where’s Shannon? What happened?” I asked while Syn helped me sit on the bunk. Around me stood Shannon, Tomo, Syn and a guy on the corner of the room with a hoodie.

“Paty…” Shannon said looking with me with concern in his eyes.

“What?” I asked him and then I looked behind him and all I wanted was to die.

Jared? Yes, there he was. A little beard, his bright blue eyes staring at me, his hair was longer and dark brown. He was skinny like he used to be and he was wearing a pair of dark blue jeans, black and white sneakers, grey shirt and black jacket with a white scarf.

“It can’t be.” I said taking the covers from my legs to stand up, surprisingly nobody tried to stop me.

“Great joke Shannon! You got me a Jared clone how funny.” I said touching his cheeks obviously lying to myself.

“Paty. That’s not a model. He’s there.” Tomo said softly.

“Are you calling me crazy? I CAN’T SEE DEAD PEOPLE! Can I?” I asked widening my eyes with tears boiling in them.

“Sweet cheeks…” Jared started.

“NO! Shut up! SHUT UP! How COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME?” I asked him filling with anger.

“Jared! You knew how much death affected me and you still did this stupid trick! I loved you! HOW COULD YOU?” I yelled raising my hands in the air.

Jared grabbed them and he pulled me to him.

“Please Paty. Don’t judge me.” Jared almost begged.

“Let me go.” I said.

“LET ME GO!” I yelled.

I pulled my arms from Jared’s hands but he took a chance and he pulled my face to his crushing his lips with mine.

“Just leave me alone!” I yelled pushing Jared aggressively.

“I’ll come to you in pieces so you can make me whole’" Jared whispered. I raised my hand and I was about to slap him when Shannon grabbed me by the arms.

“PATY STOP IT!” Shannon yelled grabbing my arms from behind pulling me away from Jared.

“Happy Jared? Look what you did to me! I’m a monster thanks to you! You were selfish, you broke your one promise to me. I… I… I hate you.” I said tears going down my eyes, so much pain going with them.

I love him, I love him! I do love him but he made me suffer and I can’t take that.

“Jared enough. Get out of here!” I yelled at him.

Jared looked at me, his eyes were beginning to seem wet but I couldn’t show pity. I had to be better then this. Shannon let go of me and he left with Jared and Tomo. I feel to my knees still crying.

“Paty come here.” Syn said picking me up from the floor. He carried me to one of the bunks and we laid in there. With me crying like a giant baby and Syn just caressing my hair listening to my deep sobs.

Jared’s P.O.V

What was I expecting? A welcome party? Of course not but I wasn’t expecting that Paty would try to hit me. I abused her emotionally and it is my entire fault.

“Jared? Are you okay?” Tomo asked sitting beside me with Shannon following.

“I’m awful. I messed up big time and for what I can see she as people interested in her.” I said sadly picking my guitar.

“You can’t give up!” Tomo said.

“Where’s the confident Jared Leto? The actor, singer, director who did everything to get what he wanted instead of spending days writing sad lyrics and playing sad songs?” Shannon asked.

“Dead along sweet Paty.” I said.

“Paty’s not dead. She’s just mad, disappointed and shocked. It’s not easy for her to recover from this, you pretended to be dead dude.” Tomo said.

“I know.” I said.

“I think she needs you. Gerard won’t leave her alone and I don’t think she’ll risk something on Syn, I have no idea if she loves him.” Shannon said.

What am I going to do? Lose her for Syn or Gee?

Paty’s P.O.V

I woke up to find myself still in Syn’s arms.

“The angel awakes.” Syn said in a song tone.

“Sin boy.” I said rubbing my eyes.

“Is he gone?” I asked.

“Yes he is. You scared me back there I thought you would explode.” Syn said.

“That’s just a bit of how mad I am.” I said.

“Where am I?” I asked.

“My bunk.” Syn said cuddling next to me. He had his arm around me and I was laying on his chest.

“You really think I’m crazy now huh?” I asked him giggling.

“I think you were right and I thought you would hit him.” Syn said laughing.

“Ah ah very funny.” I said hitting his arm.

Syn stopped laughing and he became serious.

“I don’t know if you’re crazy but you will think I’m crazy if I do this?” Syn said softly leaning in closer to me.

My eyes widened but all of this seemed so normal? I closed my eyes and I felt a huge sensation. Syn’s lips met mine sweetly like if we were dancing. Syn wasn’t like this he was more dominant so he quickly turned the kiss rougher. I tried to accompany him but I couldn’t so I opened my mouth to breathe and he shoved his tongue inside of it, massaging every spot he hit making me moan which made a smirk grow on his face.

“Tired?” Syn asked when he pulled apart from me.

“Please Syn don’t make my head spin even more.” I begged him tried to get him of me but he wasn’t going to let me go that easily. I just wanted to run away from reality.

“Paty stop running from your feelings. You’ve been hiding them for too long! Snap out of it!” Syn said kissing me rougly pinning my arms above my head.

“Syn!” I yelled rolling up putting myself on top.

“Don’t pressure me! I hate people who pressure me, it never works.” I said and I stepped out of him.

I was about to leave when my ass got spanked.

“SYN!” I yelled turning to him. He didn’t have any shirt on and a victorious smirk on his face.

I just smiled, I turned by back to him and I left. But was I supposed to do? Take it all on Syn? Or just forgive Jared? My life is becoming a hard game to play.