I Never Meant to Hurt You

Paty’s P.O.V

I was lying in my bunk, far from Gerard, far from Syn, far from Jared. I needed my space and most of my all my therapy, music. I had all of my body under of the bed’s covers, I was rolled in a ball shape, it’s was really cold.

“Paty get me some room.” Frankie said lifting the cover exposing my face to the light. I blinked and I smiled at him.

“Get in quickly, I’m freezing.” I said letting Frank get into the bed cuddling with me.

“We don’t talk for almost a week but I’ve been seeing everything. I think that as a friend I can only ask you one thing, are you okay?” He asked me his eyes observing me intently.

“I don’t know what do to. I feel lost, betrayed by the people I loved, I feel like crap actually.” I said tears already going down my cheeks.

“Of all the people in this world, you Patrícia are one of the few that don’t deserve what happens to them. Believe me.” Frankie said kissing my forehead while pushing me against his chest, hugging me tightly.

“Then why does it?” I said.

“Everything as a reason, we both believe in that don’t we? Then trust me when I say that all of this happens for a reason. In my opinion you weren’t sure about Jared and this is happening for that reason, you need to know who you want to spend the rest of your life with.” Frankie said making me stare at him.

He was completely right. I always questioned myself towards Jared but now I was in the middle of 3 men and this is getting ugly.

“You know me Frankie, I’m never sure of everything but for the first time in my life I knew that I loved Jared and I was ready to go with him wherever he needed me. Look what that got me into.” I said.

“You’re smart, I know you’ll know what to do sooner or later.” Frankie said smiling at me.

“I’m so afraid. I don’t want to get hurt again, I wouldn’t stand it.” I said.

“I can’t tell you what’s right, it would be wrong. Of course I’m on Gee’s side.” Frankie laughed.

“Having you as a part of My Chemical Romance would be amazing! But I’ll be always with you no matter what!” Frankie said.

“I love you Frankie!!” I said laughing while tickling him.

I eventually feel asleep, I woke up on the other day and Frankie was still in the bunk with me. I smiled and I didn’t dare moving, I was so warm.

“What the hell?” Gerard said.

“Morning Gee.” Frankie and I said at the same time, laughing.

“Frankie! I’ll kill you! I only told you to talk to her, and you slept with her?!” Gerard said making my eyes widened.

“Gee! Don’t be absurd! I would never sleep with Frankie.” I said jumping out of the bunk to face Gerard.

He step forward.

“Why do you do this to me Paty?” Gerard whispered hugging me tightly.

“I didn’t do anything.” I said trying to keep calm.

“You know what I feel, why do you make me want you even more?” Gerard said his hand moving to the back of my neck.

“Gee please stop it, you’re scaring me.” I said.

“You pushed me back, I know it’s not your fault. But I can’t help this feeling…” Gerard said and in a second he was kissing me passionately.

“GERARD!” I yelled pushing him back.

“Don’t make me want you!” Gerard said.

“Gee, go outside and get some air.” Frankie said placing himself in front of me.

“She’s not a doll.” Frankie said.

Gerard glanced at me and he left. I started crying desperately, this was getting worst at every day that passed.

“Paty…” Frankie started but I just looked at him and I dressed some clothes and I went outside. I found Syn and Gerard arguing with each other.

“WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?” Gerard yelled.

“A better man than you! You should know her, she likes to be free besides you’re not her boyfriend are you?” Syn said.

“Shut up.” Gerard said and he raised his hand in a form of a fist and he was about to hit Syn but Syn caught his fist and he punched Gerard’s face with his left hand.

“STOP IT! Frankie!” I yelled running towards them.

“Syn NO!” I said putting myself in front of Syn with my hands holding his hands trying to calm him down, this was getting out of proportion.

Frankie, Mikey, Matt and Zacky appeared by my side to talk things down.

“I’m sorry.” Syn said holding me against his chest.

“There’s only one thing I can do.” I said.

I looked at his face, I pulled him closer and I gave him a sweet kiss.

“I have to leave Syn.” I said.

“I’m causing all of this, I’m ruining your lives and this awesome tour.” I said crying.

“Paty, don’t say that! Gerard was an ass.” Syn said.

“Jared will come I know it.” I said smiling sadly at him.

“Then let him come, I’ll protect what is mine.” Syn said smirking at me, pulling me by the waist to encounter his lips again more passionately.

~~3 weeks later~~

No signs of Jared. I’m with Syn now and that’s all that should matter right? But I can’t help it. I’m just stupid like that. I’m with a guy I love deeply but Jared left a stupid mark on me, damn it. Why Jared? Why me? Why us?

I’ve received a phone call from Tim Burton with another crazy idea from him. We both love animation films, I love The Corpse Bride and The Nightmare Before Christmas and once I told Tim to watch Howl’s Moving Castle. Well he saw it and he liked it and he wanted to make it with living people. He wanted me for Sophie but he didn’t tell me who Howl was going to be, but I hope he does the right choice, Howl is a character that I love.

“Syn?” I said entering A7X tour bus.

“I’m in the back!” Syn said, I walked to the back where Syn was playing guitar he stopped when he saw me.

“What’s up?” He asked me standing up to kiss me passionately.

“Well here yours truly is going to France in 2 weeks.” I said smiling.

“Really? I’m so proud!!” Syn said spinning me in the air.

“SYN!” I said wrapping my arms around his neck.

“You never call me Brian.” Syn grinned.

“I like Syn, it’s a cool nickname.” I said.

“Syn likes you too.” Syn smirked kissing me passionately backing me gently to the wall.

“Wait does that mean that your hair will be gray? And that for a part of the movie you’ll seem like an old lady” Syn asked.

“Basically, yes. You’ll have a 90 year old girlfriend” I said laughing at his face.

“I’ll still love her, the older the best.” Syn said kissing me again licking my bottom lip, I granted him entrance and our tongues started dancing with each other.

“Syn let me go, Christ! Don’t tempt me!” I smirked starting to walk away.

“Oh no you don’t.” Syn said pulling me towards him and then we fell on his bunk laughing like two kids.

“I love you.” Syn said.

“I love you too,” I said kissing him sweetly before closing my eyes to listen to his heart beat.

For me simple moments are the most important ones but there’s a scar, left by Jared. A scar that time would never heal, I love Syn don’t judge me but something keeps bringing me to Jared. Is Frankie right? This is just a test of the so called fate? Damn it.

I received a text message.

“Why do people spoil moments like these?” I yawned making Syn laugh.

I took my cell phone out and there was a message from Tim. ‘Howl as been chosen, please don’t kill me. He says that this movie is just like you and him and I agree, we chose Jared.’

I re-read the message over and over again, this couldn’t be true. Jared and I? Romantic couple again? NO!

“FUCK!” I yelled throwing my cell to the other side of the tour bus then burying my head in Syn’s perfect chest.

“What bunny?” He asked me.

“Guess who they chose for Howl.” I groaned.

“Me?” Syn said making me laugh.

“I wished honey, I really did. They chose Mr. Leto.” I said.

“It’s just work you don’t have to talk to him and if he goes close to you I’ll kill him with my karate skills!” Syn said tickling me.

That’s why he was the best. He wasn’t like me, he always saw the positive right from the beginning, I also saw the positive but anything related to Jared made me shiver, I was afraid of making a mistake. Syn and I were perfect like we were right now, why putting me with Jared in romantic scenes? I sighed heavily, Syn started to rub my back sweetly while whispered lyrics of ‘Dear God’.

‘Dear God the only thing I ask of you
Is to hold her when I’m not around
When I’m much too far away’

“I won’t let him hurt you, never again.” Syn said and with those words I fell into a deep and peaceful dream.