I Never Meant to Hurt You

About 1 month later I was already travelling to some place in Italy, where we were going to shoot Howl’s Moving Castle. My hair was already gray and I had been working hard on how to be an old lady.

“Paty!” Paloma greeted.

“Paloma!!” I said excitedly hugging he.

“What’s that?” She asked raising my left hand where I had a silver ring.

“Syn’s property.” I said laughing with her.

“But is that for a formal thing like marriage?” Paloma asked very seriously.

“No Paloma. Syn just wants to make sure that Jared knows that I’m with someone.” I said smiling at her.

Of course that she was on Jared’s side, she said that we matched perfectly. I thought the same some months ago, now everything’s scattered on my past right?

“You look amazing with gray hair.” Paloma said glancing at my hair more than once, of course that I was wearing a hoodie or I’d be spotted from far.

“Thank you.” I said smiling at her.

Paloma drove to the hotel where I put my suitcase and then I went to meet Tim and the cast. When I entered the room, I had to do my best to not stare at Jared, he was gorgeous. He was blonde and his skin was a little paler.

“Paty long time no see.” Tim said.

“Hello Tim.” I said hugging him lightly.

“Hi guys.” I said my eyes glancing for once at Jared he was staring at me like if I was some kind of masterpiece.

“Show us the hair.” Tim said excitedly.

I smiled and I took my hoodie off.

“Wow, you look beautiful.” Tim said.

“Thanks.” I said.

“Who is going to play the Witch of Waste?” I asked.

“We thought about Helena Bonham Carter.” Tim said.

“Really? That's amazing.” I said.

“Imagine yourself 70 years older.” Tim said laughing along with me.

“I want to see it Tim.” I said my eyes sparkling. I knew Tim had made a real size Castle and I wanted to see it.

“What?” Tim said smiling.

“The Castle.” I said.

“Jared will show you.” Tim said winking at me.

I raised an eyebrow but I followed Jared. We arrived to a huge land where a giant Castle was, not a normal castle. A Castle made of several metal pieces, junk, wood, doors, windows and two steal giant legs. I entered the construction and there it was the living room from the movie.

My eyes just sparkled, like a little kid in a candy shop. I examined everything.

“Paty let me show you this.” Jared said.

I followed him to a room, Sophie’s room.

“Wow, this so beautiful.” I said grabbing one of the hats and placing it in my head, smiling.

Jared just stood there observing.

“Could you stop staring? I…” I started.

“You hate it, I know.” Jared said entering the room, closing the door.

“Don’t come any closer.” I said.

“Are you afraid of what you might do? Why are you doing this? We both know you don’t love him.” Jared said stepping closer to me.

“Who do you think you are? You pretended to be dead!” I said.

“DAMN IT! Aren’t you stubborn? I’ve been killing myself for all of these months what do you want me to do more?” Jared asked.

“I want you to vanish! You hurt me too much to except me to forgive you.” I said passing by him, I opened the door and I went up the stairs.

I entered a random room and I went towards the balcony already crying

“You want me to scream at the wind that I love you? Fine! I LOVE PATRÍCIA!!” Jared yelled at the top of his lungs.

“Do you see this ring Jared Leto? I’m not taking it.” I said.

“Why Paty? You keep lying to yourself. I don’t know what to do to make you understand.” Jared said.

“You shouldn’t have messed up the first time. Go I know you have many friends desiring for your company.” I said coldly turning my back at Jared holding my tears.

“Don’t do this to me, I can’t take it. The only one I want pushes me back.” Jared said his voice becoming weak.

I sobbed but I went down the stairs and I ran out of the castle. How could I ever think that this would be easy? I looked at my ring and I cried even more. Am I putting Syn inside a dream? Am I using him? Damn it, Jared Leto why do you have the gift to mess me up and make my heart beat faster everytime?