I Never Meant to Hurt You

I woke up the next morning feeling grumpy, irritated and missing my peace and quiet in Portugal. Everything was so easy when it was just me, my friends, my family, music, concerts and the beach. Why did I fall in love? Why did I hold his hand until the end of the world? For what? So he could just pretend he was dead. I know I’m being stubborn but I can’t help it, I’m so hurt.

I sighed and I dressed something. I quickly ate some breakfast and then I went to the set. I put on Sophie’s blue dress and Paloma did my old lady makeup.

“Ready.” She said smiling at me.

“Thanks.” I said chuckling.

“Come on Paty! Move, move!” Tim said.

“Coming!” I said grumpily.

I did the scene where Sophie first enters the castle and meets Calcifer and Markl.

“Alright a little break. Great job Paty.” Tim said.

“Are you okay? You are a little pale.” Tim said putting his hand behind my back observing my face.

“Don’t worry. I’m fine.” I said smiling at him.

I started to feel a little dizzy but I tried to seem perfectly healthy.

“Okay but sit down, you don’t look good.” Tim said.

The break ended and the scene where Howl meets Sophie and she tells him she’s the new housekeeper started to be shot.

“So what’s in your pocket Sophie?” Jared asked looking deep into my eyes.

I searched inside my pocket until I found a red piece of paper and I handed it to him. When I was about to stretch my arm my head flinched. I felt nauseous and suddenly I saw everything spin and a pair of arms catching me.

“Paty!” Jared yelled shaking me lightly.

“CUT! Paty!!” Tim said running towards me.

I could barely breathe and I felt a huge weight on my chest.

“Call someone quick!” Jared said.

“Help me… Jared.” I whispered.

“I’m not leaving you.” Jared said grabbing my hand holding it to his chest.

“Promise.” I said weakly.

“I promise, I will never leave you Paty.” Jared said picking me up, while taking me outside. My eyes closed and I fell into a deep black hole.

~~ Next day ~~

I opened my eyes to find myself in a bed in a white room. Hospital. I hate hospitals. I looked to my side and a beautiful vase with red roses was on the stand, the window was open and I could see the sun shining weakly.

I looked to my other side and a head was laying on top of my hand, with golden hair, Jared.

“Jared.” I said caressing his head.

“Oh Paty, you’re awake.” He said excitedly approaching me but he stopped. He sat back down with his hand intertwined with mine.

“I didn’t leave you. See?” He said.

“Thank you.” I said smiling at him.

“How do you feel?” He asked.

“Fine.” I said.

This was so awkward. Jared and I in the same room. Days ago I cursed myself for loving him but how couldn’t I? He was just everything I’ve always wanted and it had been ruined.

“You’re always fine. The doctor said that you had some kind of stress and your nervous system just shut down. You can go back to work in a few days.” Jared said rubbing his hand in mine.

“Great! I love the character I’m playing.” I said.

“I called Syn, he almost killed but it was the right thing.” Jared said.

“He’s coming, in fact he most be coming up the elevator right now.” Jared said standing up quickly.

“See you tomorrow sweet cheeks.” He said leaving the room.

Jared’s P.O.V

I turned my back at her and I left. I wouldn’t stand seeing that asshole coming, I just want him to vanish is it that much?!

“Leto!” I heard Syn say.

I groaned but I turned.

“Hi Brian.” I said.

“Hi Jared. Listen I know I was really hard with you but I want to thank you for helping Paty. Thank you very much.” He said smiling at me.

I nodded.

“No problem.” I said shaking his hand leaving.

Paty’s P.O.V

I sighed, why was I so stupid? He said sorry a billion times and the worst I couldn’t use Brian, he’s too good for me.

“Mrs. Simpson!” Syn said running towards me jumping into the hospital’s bed kissing me passionately.

“Syn!” I said smiling with my eyes widened.

I had to say this, it wasn’t fair.

“Brian we need to talk.” I said.

“You never call me Brian, you are so serious honey. What’s wrong?” Syn asked sitting on the bed grabbing my hand in his huge hand.

“Brian you are amazing, you know you are. Don’t grin like stupid!” I said slapping his shoulder playfully “But I’m not sure anymore if what I feel is strong enough to keep you.” I said looking into his hazel eyes like I never did before.

“You don’t love me anymore Paty?” Syn asked.

“NO! That’s not it! Please Brian. I’m not prepared to be committed like this and to be honest you are too good to me. You deserve someone that loves you entirely and that can keep up with you. I’m not that girl.” I said tears doing down my cheeks, the last thing I wanted was to make him suffer.

“I see.” Syn said standing up.

He turned around in a flash and he kissed me rougly.

“Our last kiss sweetheart. Paty can I drink until I faint now?” He asked smiling at me.

Syn never took anything to the wrong side.

“Go and have FUN FOR ME!” I said while he left.

As soon as I found myself alone I cried. I couldn’t just forgive Jared but it wasn’t fair to use Syn just to have a boyfriend, I loved him but not enough. It wasn’t me it was my stupid emotional side taking over me.