Winning the World at a Carnival.

“How the fuck did you get up here without any of us realising? And where’s Spencer?” Brendon asked.

“Brendon, I can-”

“Where’s Spencer?” Brendon asked again. He crossed his arms. “Do I have to kick you out of here? Cos you know, I totally will.”

“You so wouldn’t throw me out.” Spencer said. At least, she hoped that he wouldn’t. Brendon wouldn’t really kick a girl out of the cabin, in the middle of nowhere, would he?

“Really?” One of Brendon’s eyebrow raised up. Fuck, Spencer knew that look. The look that Brendon Urie got when he was challenged to something. “Well you can get out of here and then maybe I can find my drummer.” Brendon grabbed one of her arms and pulled.

“Brendon, get off me!” She tried to get away from him. “Brendon, stop it, you’re hurting me!” Brendon’s grip tightened on her arm as he practically dragged her out of Spencer’s room and into the hallway. “Ryan! Ry!” She shouted down the hallway to Ryan.

Ryan looked out of his door, topless and doing up his jeans. “Brendon, what the fuck are you doing?” He shouted, running to the two of them and pulling Spencer away.

“You knew she was here?” Brendon asked.

“Yes, I knew she was here. Obviously.”

“Well do you know where Spencer is then?”

“Right here, you fucktard!” Ryan shouted, pointing to Spencer. Then he turned to her. “I’ll explain, you go finish up.”

“Thanks Ry.” Spencer said quietly. She walked back to her room (with Brendon’s eyes on her the whole time) and shut the door to. She could hear Brendon and Ryan arguing, then Jon’s voice joining in. She just sat on her bed as she heard Ryan explain everything. She closed her eyes, not wanting to face Brendon or Jon now. She didn’t want them staring at them.

There was a knock at the door and she opened her eyes. “Who is it?” She asked.

“It’s Ryan.” He walked in, closing the door.

“How did they take it?” Spencer asked, not looking at Ryan.

“Surprisingly well.” Ryan replied, sitting next to Spencer. “Brendon says sorry by the way.”

“I can’t blame him. Well, I can kind of. He wouldn’t let me get a chance to tell him who I was.” Spencer replied. She looked down at her sock covered feet. She walked over to the closet and picked out a pair of flat boots. She put them on before grabbing a hoody and finally picking up her sidekick.

“Where are you going Spence?” Ryan asked.

“I need to think. I’ll be back later.” Spencer replied brushing past Ryan. She flew down the stairs and out the door before Brendon or Jon could stop her.

She wandered into the forest that surrounded the cabin and shoved her headphones into her ear. She chose a playlist from her sidekick and within a second, Fall Out Boy was playing in her ears.

She needed to really think about this. She sat on a log. She had to think of what to do now. She couldn’t go back to the band. To the rest of the world, Spencer Smith was a guy, not a girl-turned-guy-turned-girl-again. She would have to leave, go back home, get a 9-to-5 job, live her life boring like everyone else’s, while Ryan, Brendon and Jon got a new drummer, still toured the world, making the music she loved to play, still kicked ass.

She wondered if they would still remember her once she was gone. Wondered if they would invite her to shows if they were in Vegas.

Oh God, they were going to forget her. She sat forward and put her face in her hands, tears beginning to fall. All of a sudden, she was a lot more emotional. Damn this wish! It could have at least eased her into womanhood instead of just thrusting her there.

She felt an arm around her, then another. She looked up and saw Jon on her left side, Brendon on her right and Ryan kneeling in front of her. They were all smiling at her.

“Spence, it’ll be alright.” Ryan said, rubbing her knees gently.

“No it won’t! It won’t! You’re going to get a new drummer and you’ll be amazing, and I’ll have to go home and be boring and you’ll forget all about me because you’re all going to be so awesome still! It‘s not fair!” Spencer cried. Jon and Brendon grabbed one of her hands each, rubbing it gently, trying to sooth her. This was when she needed it most, they decided.

“There is no band without you, Spencer Smith.” Jon told her.

“We just talked about it, and if you aren’t in the band, then Panic! At The Disco don’t exist anymore.” Brendon said. “Oh, and I’m sorry for trying to throw you out earlier too.”

“That’s alright. I guess I can forgive you, Bren.” Spencer said, wiping her tears away. “So, ta dah.” Spencer motioned towards herself. “What do you think?”

“I think they were as shocked as us, Spence.” Ryan said.

“Ryan, call me Spencer. Just… don’t call me Spence.” Spencer said. “Please.”

“Alright.” Ryan pushed himself up using her knees, then pulled her up into a hug. “It’s going to be fine Spencer, I promise.”

“Don’t make promises you can’t keep Ry.” She mumbled into his shoulder.

“I will keep this promise, Spencer.” He told her.

“We all will.” Brendon and Jon stood up, engulfing her in a group hug.

Spencer smiled. She couldn’t believe that they would give up the band, something they loved more than anything, if she decided not to be in it. Although, she didn’t want them to disband just because she left.

And it wasn’t as if she wanted to leave the band either. But how could they explain how she had just magically turned into a woman. Because that was exactly what happened, it was magic.

“So, you were born a girl, but you made a wish when you were 9.” Jon said after a while of them all just sitting there in silence, waiting for Spencer to compose herself. Spencer nodded. “A wish to become a boy because you were sick of being called Ryan’s girlfriend.”

“Don’t give me that look, Jon Walker, I was called it wherever I went with Ryan.” Spencer pouted. “I didn’t want that at 9. I just wanted to be known as Ryan’s friend, nothing else. Got it?”

“Ok.” Jon rolled his eyes quickly. “So, then you went home and overnight you turned into a boy.”

“When I got home, I had a headache and I asked my mom for aspirin but then I passed out. I woke up the next day and I had turned into a boy. My parents told me not to talk to Ryan, cos it would confuse him, but he already knew about the wish. Then my parents took me out of my school and sent me to Ryan’s.”

“I never knew you were at another school.” Brendon said.

“Not that you would remember, but I was at your school, Bren.” Brendon’s face was one of shock. “Don’t worry if you don’t remember me, I seriously looked different back then.” The silent ‘obviously’ hung thick in the air.

They all stood there for a while longer, arms around Spencer, Spencer with her face in Ryan’s neck.

“I think we should head back. I’ll make us breakfast.” Ryan said.

“Make me pancakes?” Spencer asked.

“Sure.”