Bella's Lullaby

Kristen's P.O.V

First day of filming was now completed and everyone including myself was seriously exhausted. We went through one particular scene over and over again and I became angry every second that ticked by. I just wanted to go to bed because mother nature had kicked in all of a sudden and that had left me really tired.

Ashley however was more to energetic than anyone else, “Oh come on Kris!” she pulled my arm, “It will be fun!” she grinned widely.

“I told you Ash. NO!” I said once again. Ashley wanted to go out dinner with Jackson and Rob but wanted me to come along too, but of course that just spelt the two letter word NO!

“Please?” she pouted but I stood my ground. I was never going to give in.

I rolled my eyes at her, “I am in grave pain right now, I just want to go to bed!” I complained.

“You’re such a baby!” whined Ashley.

“Who’s a baby?” Jackson came over with Robert to my disgust.

“Kristen Stewart here doesn’t want to have dinner with us,” Ashley crossed her arms whilst she explained.

I shook my head.

“Awe come on Kris!” now this time it was Jackson.

“Fine!” I shouted and Ashley cheered.

Jackson afterwards decided that it would be best if we stayed in our hotel rooms and ate there instead. We ordered a mixture of Italian and Chinese and began munching. I, however couldn’t handle take away that well so I had to take numerous trips to the toilet, “You okay?” Rob asked me as soon as I got out of the bathroom for what seemed like the hundredth time.

“I’m fine,” I replied without making any eye contact with him whatsoever.

Making my way back to the living room of my suite I gasped, there right before my eyes were Jackson and Ashley…with their lips connected. I felt a tinge of jealousy forming inside of me. I wanted some love and romance in my life too but to my disappointment at the rate I was going I was not going to experience it at all.

“Let’s leave them,” I felt Rob’s minty breath tickling my cheeks.

Ignoring him of course I made my way back to my bedroom of my suite and sat down on my bed. Rob followed and took a seat on the chair opposite my bed and began flicking through the piles and piles of magazines beside him.

I sighed taking out my itouch and plugging the headphones in my ears. I thought about the way I was treating Rob. I felt sort of guilty but then again he didn’t even remember a thing about us when I grew up lost in my own world. My own world full of Robert Pattinson.

It hurt me when I found he had forgotten us. My little Robert use to tell me day and night how much he cared for me and loved me, whereas this grown up Robert didn’t even know me.

I stared ahead at Rob he was half asleep already he looked amazing.

Sighing again I concentrated on the song that came up next on my itouch. My Heart Will Go On by Celine Dion, Titanic. I hadn’t listened to this song for a very long time. Closing my eyes, I concentrated hard on the lyrics and then it hit me. It hit me hard in the face like a bombshell. I had been in love with one particular guy for God knows how long and only just realised then.

This song use to be our song.

I didn’t really ever think that a song could have such a big impact on my life but ‘My Heart Will Go On’ did. Every word, every line, every beat reminded me of him and my heart ached in shear pain, I wanted to cry out, scream but I couldn’t, something was stopping me, maybe it was because of Rob’s presence in the room. I didn’t know. I wanted to hit myself for not realising this much earlier.

I had been in love with him all my life and I didn’t even know myself until now.