Bend Me Over Backwards

I was alone in the bed I was sharing with Gerard, since Gerard was in the shower. What Mikey did to me never left my mind. It may not have been much, but it was enough to make me feel vile. I‘d always been comfortable with my body; yet, when Mikey touched me the way he did I was no longer comfortable. I was no longer content with my body. I didn’t want to be touched at all.

Frowning, my thoughts went to Gerard. He was still my smiling angel. Light and good feelings followed him wherever he went. He was happy. I doubted that Gerard would ever want me like that. Despite this saddening thought, I couldn’t help but want him. I wanted him to feel bliss in the most intimate of ways. I’d run my hands over his pale skin and worship it. I would do anything to make him feel good.

“Frankie, I have the stir-fry!” Lyn-Z came bouncing into the room, bag in hand, and tackled me with a hug. I didn’t hug back at all. This was too much contact despite Lyn-Z being one of my closest friends. “Frankie, what’s wrong?” She asked, pulling her slender arms away from me.

“Don’t touch me,” I whispered, “Just don’t.”

“Frankie, honey, tell me what happened,” she spoke concerned. Lyn-Z always loved to baby me in some way. It was sweet of her.

“He pulled me out of bed and forced me to the floor,” I whispered. I looked to both sides of me worried that someone would hear. “I was a little ‘happy,’ at the time if you catch my drift. He kissed me furiously, trying to shove his tongue down my throat.” Tears threatened to fall from my eyes as I continued. “He told me that ‘I wanted him,’ and how ‘my body wanted it,’” I said, letting my tears fall. Lyn-Z gave me an apologetic look. “The he put hand down my pants. That’s when I lost it.” I was openly crying now. Lyn-Z would understand.

“Oh Frank,” Lyn-Z said pulling me into a hug.

Yelping, I sank into her. “I attacked him Lyn-Z! My best friend and my angel’s baby brother! I violently kicked him in the ribs, Z!” Lyn-Z rocked me back and forth while calmly shushing me. Choked sobs escaped me as I cried. I was violated by my own friend and I wasn’t strong enough to get over it. “I can’t stand myself anymore,” I uttered.

Lyn-Z moved my hair out of my face. “Does anyone else know?” She asked.

I sniffed, “B-Bob and now you.”

“Are you going to tell Gerard?”

“N-no,” I stuttered.

“Frankie, he has to know!”

“No! I don’t want to lose my angel,” I said, fear filling me.

“Frank, you won’t lose him. You saved him from that awful restaurant,” Lyn-Z spoke.

“I’m no good now. Mikey ruined it.”

“Frankie, come on. Gerard won’t care.”

“But if and remember now this is an if. If we do something I’ll be passing the violation to him. I don’t want to make Gerard dirty.”

Lyn-Z shook her head. “Frankie, you can’t pass things on like that. You should know better than that. Come on now eat up,” she said, popping off the top of the stir fry and handing me a fork.

I stuck the fork deep into the bowl and stabbed at the food. Taking out my fork, I placed it in my mouth and slid off the food. I hummed a noise that Lyn-Z would know that the food was good. That’s when the door flew open and Mikey had his hands up. His back was towards us and I froze.

“You son of bitch if you hurt Frank ever again I fucking swear I’ll cut your dick off,” Bob threatened. His face was beet red and full of anger. Bob disliked friends being hurt. “You’re lucky I don’t kill you now,” he said, walking closer to Mikey.

“I-I-I’m sorry! D-don’t kill me,” Mikey whined.

“You’re not sorry! I know how you law students are taught to lie,” Bob said, grabbing Mikey by the neck. Bob held him up and Mikey’s feet flailed. I looked at Bob’s blue eyes terrified. I’d never seen him so driven by anger. I couldn’t look away.

“Bob, stop it! You’re killing him,” yelled Lyn-Z.

Bob looked in my eyes and they went from angered to scared. He dropped Mikey to the ground. Mikey’s body lay quiet. “F-Frankie, you saw that?” He asked; his voice was low.

I nodded, still holding the fork and bowl. My eyes wouldn’t leave his. They were becoming more frightened by the minute. I once again felt numb. Bob turned around and sped out of the room. Mikey was still on the floor. I could see his chest moving up and down. He was still living.

“Get, Ray,” I spoke.