Exposed In Lights

I was happy when the Jonas’s all agreed some family time was in need. They were happy to oblige when I asked them if I could watch Ellen, I’d missed the proper showing so I was not going to miss the replay. So we all sat in the lounge of Paul and Denise’s room, scattered around the TV with bowls of food on the coffee table for us to eat.

“Today’s first guests are the hugely known couple. One is the most known soccer player in the world, the other is a fashion icon not to mention Spice Girl. Please welcome Posh and Becks!” Ellen shouted.

I grinned madly as I watched my parents stroll out together onto the sofa after hugging Ellen. They discussed many things first but I was mainly waiting for the talk about me. I’d heard most of the things they talked about before; football, fashion, ‘Beckingham Palace’ and more.

“So, let’s talk about your four wonderful children. You have a girl who we all know as sixteen year old Julia Beckham, a ten year old called Brooklyn, Romeo who is seven and Cruz who is three,” Ellen paused, “That’s a lot of kids… and work. Especially with the sixteen year old.”

My Dad smiled, “Yes. I am fertile to the tune of four children.” The audience chuckled. “Well, the boys are boys and love their sports and stuff. But Julia, she’s no bother to be honest.”

“Well, she is bother.” Mum retorted and I gasped as everyone in the room chuckled at me.

“She could be worse.” Dad argued with a smile and Ellen nodded. “Sure, she has her moods like all teenagers but she really is one of the most amazing people in my life. I may be a bit biased because she’s my daughter and everything but honestly, she’s so caring and kind.”

“I agree, I mean she’s been on the show a couple of times and the way you have brought her up never seizes to amaze me. She’s so thankful for everything she’s got… kind of like another family like this one maybe?” Ellen pointed to the screen on which a photograph of us all at the Grammy’s was, everyone let out a chorus of cheers. “Tell us a bit about them.”

Dad nudged my mum who in turn nudged him back. “Moving to L.A has helped us to see a lot of different families and how they survive. Some good and some not so good. Denise and Paul Jonas need to write a book or something---”

“Have you asked them for advice on your three boys?” Ellen interrupted.

“Paul once said to me ‘We’re not raising just boys. We’re raising men, husbands and fathers’ and for me it made me think about how to go about things with my kids.” Dad said and Paul grinned madly at the TV.

“David can you remember the other day when we were going out Brooklyn, who is the ten year old, opened my car door for me and I was like; ‘Brooklyn, what are you doing?’ and he said; ‘I saw Joe, Nick and Kevin do it and I asked them why and they told me because it’s good to be a gentleman and I wanna be one.’” Everyone in the room let out an ‘aw’ and everyone in the hotel room did too.

My dad decided it was his turn for some input. “Never before have I came across role models that I can feel good about having my sons look up to. And Julia, I mean she went to public school in the North which isn’t the most amazing place in the world to find someone who is a good catch so for her to see and experience these guys who are proper gentlemen, who pull out her chair, open her doors, never let her pay for anything is going to affect her choices later in life.”

“I’m glad that your daughter has the chance to see one of those boys, they’re so talented and I have no doubt she’s treat well.” Ellen smiled. “Do you ever worry about Jonas Brother’s fans, they’re pretty defensive.”

“She’s kind of used to it, it still scares me though. She just will walk into the kitchen with her laptop and be like ‘look, this girl wants to kill me’ and I’d like panic and want to wrap her in bubble wrap and stuff.” Dad joked.

I looked up to Nick from my spot on the floor and he smiled at me then ruffled my hair around. As I looked around the room, I couldn’t help but notice everyone’s spirits were lifted. With the funeral looming in the distance moral was low and without even knowing it my parents had lifted it. My spirits were raised just seeing how much better they interacted with each other after the speech my parents gave.

Personally, I was embarrassed. They’d just spent five minutes talking about my boyfriend’s family like they’d known each other for years. I didn’t engage in conversation but I paid attention to the chatter around me while I planned what I was going to do with Frankie the next day.

Suddenly, everyone was filing out the room. I tried to remember why but I couldn’t so I just stood up from my seat on the floor only to be dragged out of the room and into my own hotel room by Nick.

He laid down on my bed and I placed my hands on my hips. “Wanna go out to dinner?” Nick asked looking at his watch.

“Are you sure you’re up for it?” I didn’t want him to push himself too far.

In true Nick J fashion he rolled his eyes at me. “I’m fine, honest.”

“Okay then… sounds good. Help me pick something out.” I dragged my suitcase from the floor onto the bed beside Nick. I unzipped it then picked out three different dresses to try on. “Is it like going out out?”

“Anything you wear will be lovely.” Nick smiled, I rolled my eyes at his obvious flattery. He examined the three dresses then threw me a navy dress and a pair of slouch black cow boy boots.

I pulled off my belt then shimmied out of my skirt. Nick watched me from the bed contently as I changed into the dress and boots. “How about this blazer?” I lifted a black blazer with pin striped cuffs from the suitcase and put it on, fastening it up only by one button. “Does it look too like I’m trying to be a man?”

Nick burst out laughing and shook his head. “You look amazing, I’m going to get changed. Knock if you’re ready.”

I nodded and sat down at the epic old fashioned vanity table in the bathroom. I spent five minutes curling my hair to perfection and then put on some nude power over my face to even out my skin tone. I touched up my line of liquid eye liner on the top lid then put on some more mascara.

I put my phone, blackberry and purse into a small copper coloured clutch. I knew taking my money would be a complete waste of time but there might be the off chance he lets me pay for him. I was finally ready and Nick wasn’t so I headed over to his room and went to knock on the door but to my surprise he opened it before I could.

Nick wore a grey hat propped on the back of his head with some blue jeans. I couldn’t see what kind of shirt he was wearing underneath a large black coat that he wore. I smiled at him when he laced his fingers with mine.

Once we hit the lobby I went to drop his hand but he kept a hold of it. “Nick, what are you doing?”

“Holding your hand.” He smiled and kissed my forehead.

I was completely embarrassed and nervous as we walked down the streets of New York. My heart was racing and I couldn’t stop looking for cameras or fans or something to pop up. I got even more apprehensive when we were walking through the round about at Columbus Circle, more cars and people made me stressed.

“Julia, you’re not going to get shot at. Calm down.” Nick laughed and gave my hand a quick squeeze.

I went into a vast panic when two teenage girls stopped in their tracks and pointed at Nick. He just smiled and kept a hold of me as I walked behind him. Nick kept his cool and just strolled past them where as I kept my head down and almost ran across the crossing to the other side of the road.

Nick was laughing at my haste and relief once we got into the restaurant. Once we were seat at a table I finally got to relax. “What is up with you?” I asked him, genuinely confused.

“What do you mean?” He placed his menu down on the table and sipped on some water.

“You’re freaking me out. Since when have we ever acted like a couple in public? When we started going out we agreed to keep our personal lives private.” I told him harshly.

Nick didn’t answer my question but went back to looking at his menu. I decided to let it slide, blaming his odd behaviour on the fact he would be watching his Grandpa be buried the next day. We placed our orders then sat looking at each others.

“Why did you make out with my brother?”

My heart stopped, I was sure of it. I looked around us at the couples there, no one seemed to be looking at us. “Nick, this is hardly the right time to talk about that.” I whispered, my voice cracking a bit.

He shrugged, “I want to know now.”

I shuddered in my seat at the painful flickering memories of that night. I sat opposite him, completely mortified. “No and if you plan on pushing this I will go back to the hotel.”

“We’ll talk about it at the hotel, I’m tired of it being put off.”

I nodded and ducked my head, embarrassed and nervous. Though, it didn’t take Nick long to lure me into a false sense of security. We chatted away casually and enjoyed our time together, at least I did. We even walked back to the hotel hand in hand and I was so relaxed that I didn’t even care.

He left me at my hotel door claiming he wanted to settle into some pyjamas to watch Alice in Wonderland with me. I settled under the covers in some grey pyjama pants and an over sized black shirt with the film on pause across the room from me. Not long later, Nick had crawled into bed with me and we were watching the beginning of the film together.

I smiled as I watched the familiar scene unfold. “If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary-wise; what it is it wouldn't be, and what it wouldn't be, it would. You see?” I whispered quietly along with Alice.

I frowned as the film was suddenly paused and in the culprit’s hands was the remote. “Will you answer my questions? Sparing my feelings.”

I looked at Nick. I could tell he was determined to get an answer to this, “I kissed Joe because I was drunk, I have no other excuse or motive.” I blurted out as sincerely as I could. “Did you cheat on me?”

Nick shook his head and I let out a long breath. “Almost, but I couldn’t.”

His words still hurt, I didn’t want to talk about it; the aching feeling was like a gaping hole in my chest. It was painful and embarrassing when I couldn’t contain my breathing well when it struck me.

Nick tilted my head back up to look at him, a small smile gracing his plump lips. “Can we finish watching Alice in Wonderland now?” I whispered.

He chuckled at me then nodded. Picking up the remote he restarted the film and pulled the cover back up the top of the bed. Nick scooped me up in his arms and cradled me against his chest, he pushed the hair that had landed on my face back against the pillow then kisses my forehead.

A small smile appeared on my lips as I watched the film and it never left. Nick seemed to be paying no attention to the film. Constantly he was playing with my hair, kissing my face or just staring at me and for the first time in a while it wasn’t awkward or nerve wracking. It was natural.

Eventually, I gave up on the film and picked up Nick’s large hand. He held all his fingers open and slightly bent. I furrowed my eyes brows as I placed my hand against his, marveling at the size difference. After a few moments, I pushed my fingers through his and he returned the favor by letting his fingers fall onto the back of my hand.

Slowly he lifted my hand up to his face and gently smoothed it against his cheek then brushed it over his lips. I finally gave up, pulled my hand away from his lips and replaced it with my own lips. He smiled against the kiss and pulled my body on top of his, I opened my legs and laid them either side of him.

Once I’d made this move his hands moved under my shirt and rested on either side of my back. He slipped his tongue into my mouth and moved it in a hurricane with mine. As we kissed, his hands shifted from my back down under my pyjama trousers and under my boxers until they settled on my ass.

I felt him harden against me, turning me on so much. I moaned against his lips, the sensation pushed his over the edge. Forcefully, he flipped me over so he was on top of him and managed to literally rip the flimsy fabric of my shirt in two. I pulled off his shirt eagerly as his lips attacked my neck, nibbling and biting my skin. His arm wound under my back and arched it upwards towards him.

A million thoughts rushed my head. Too many that I didn’t know what to focus in on. Funerals, sex, Nick, purity, parents, promises… I wanted so badly to push them all to the back of my head and give Nick what we both wanted so badly. But I couldn’t.

“Nick…” I said regrettably. My voice seemed to snap him out of his state. He sighed and let his body flop on top of mine. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be, it’s my fault.”

I shook my head and rolled his body off mine. I couldn’t help but laugh. “You’re so funny.”

He frowned, “I’m glad I amuse you.” He tried to hold his ‘mood’ but failed and cracked a huge smile in my honour. “I better go.”

I nodded and kissed him, letting him go for the night but not for any longer.