You're Right That It's Wrong To Spend the Night Alone

"B-Bren? Can we talk?"

He looked up from his laptop. "Um, yah, what's up?" He pushed his glasses up and I smiled a little.

I sat down on his bunk beside him. Well, I perched.

"Ry, don't be so nervous. Lay down. What's wrong?"

I laid down, like he said to, and turned to face him.

His smile caught me completely off-guard.

"Um..."

"Ry, come on. You can tell me anything."

"This... thing... we do."

He nodded, looking kind of confused.

"The sex... Brendon... I... I love you. And, um... supposedly it's healthy for me to tell you that instead of making you think I'm okay with just the sex and kisses and shit. I just... I either want to have all of you, for you to be my boyfriend, or, um, none of you."

Brendon just stared at me.

"Um, that's all." I looked down, silent.

Then I heard it.

He giggled.

My head jerked up.

"What's today? Oh, my God, it must be April first."

My face fell. "Brendon," I choked out.

His smile dropped as well. "Ryan...Oh, my God, you're serious."

I looked down again, trying not to cry. "Thank you so fucking much for taking me seriously."

"No, it's just...Ryan, since when have you had feelings?"

I swallowed back my tears, looking down.

"Okay, Ryan, look..." He rubbed at his eyes. "I love you, man. You're like a brother to me... Except way hotter, and it's legal to do this shit... Okay, bad analogy. Ry, you're my best friend. But I can't see us together. I mean... I'm Brendon Urie. I could have anybody... Why would I want, or need, someone that I already have?"

I looked up at him, shocked and pained surprisingly deep.

"Are you okay?"

"No."

Fuck the lying to make him feel better.