Status: hiatus until possible deletion and extreme rewrite
Sex, Booze & Tattoos
I Love To Say ***
Elvira
"Come on, doll, we got a show to do later, remember?" Reagan tells me.
"Yeah" I groan, in despair for Noir.
"Oh dahlin...things will be ok. I fucking promise you that. We're gonna get her back and never let go. She'll be yours for ever and ever." Reagan reminds me soothingly and smooths over my hair, pulling me into one of her comfortingly warm hugs that seems to melt my problems away.
"Y'know. Can we see if the porno shops till open? I wanna go get a nurse outfit for the show" I ask sighing and plastering a small smile onto my face.
"Yeah. We could even call Veronika and see what she would like eh," she says, getting up from her seat. She gathers some trash and puts it in the bin before putting everything else of hers into her bag.
"Sure why not," I reply shutting down my computer and stuff various papers and makeup bag into my vandalised bag.
We make our way out of the office, locking the door and leave the building to get back to the porn shop.
"I'm gonna get my outfit. Call ‘Nik and ask what she wants," I request walking through the black door which sounds a bell as it creaks open.
"'Ight. Might get some props as well, that'd kick so much ass," Reagan shakes her head with a silly grin while glancing at various 'props'.
I look through diverse styles until I find the perfect red and black PVC mini dress with lacing up the back and matching hat. I then find the right size and go to the changing rooms to try it on because nobodies around to ask, plus I don't actually steal shit like this. After finding that it fits perfectly I pay for the outfit, get a black PVC playboy bunny outfit for Veronika and then some stuff like accessories for us all. After this we proceed home to drop off work stuff and then it’s off to the club to get ready for the show.
It gets to 9pm and we have to be on the stage in half an hour, when the other band finishes. I spend time slowly applying white liquid and powder foundation over everything exposed which is the top of my legs where my stockings finish, my arms that aren't getting insulation tape or fishnet over, up my neck and a bit of my chest and then my face of course. Next is black lipstick, then the heavy eyeliner and eye shadow before finishing with huge fake red eyelashes. Reagan of course lights up the audiences' day in her black and red cop uniform with cool military style PVC hat, same amount of makeup as me but with some drawn on stitches around her throat. Veronika has on her PVC mini--ass hugging--shorts, black New Rock boots with wide fishnet stockings, black collar with fuchsia pink bow tie and matching cuffs of course, with a black and pink PVC corset too [the black and pink bunny ears go without saying...I hope o.O]. Then same makeup though she has bright orange fake eyelashes to match her hair that has bright red chunks though it, even though it clashes big time with the pink. Veronika is extra tall, half a foot taller than me at 5'9. Her eyes are bright green but she masks them with special pink contacts I got for her at the shop earlier.
"This gonna be a good show tonight or what?" she says brushing through her hair while grinning.
"Boy is this gonna be good," Reagan nods while drinking some WKD and then continues miming to Links 2,3,4 by Rammstein as it plays in the background.
"Dude I did another one, it should be lucky," Veronika pulls her hair back to reveal a ring through her ear surrounded by pink flesh.
"Why is it supposed to be lucky? Piercing yourself like that you mong" I shake my head and nod along to the song.
"Cuz five is my lucky number. Now I have five up each ear....it’s a signnn!" she says ominously.
"Oh....yeah...totally," Reagan rolls her eyes.
My drummer digresses and pokes around with her nose ring instead before moving to mess with her eyebrow bar.
"What happened to that new tat you were getting? Ever get it?" I ask with a yawn as I sit beside her on the sofa.
"Tsch, of course. You have little or no faith in me and my word whatsoever. Check it out for yourself," ‘Nik turns and pulls her hair into her grasp, lifting it from her back to show a black widow spider wrapping itself around a crimson hour glass at the top of her back.
"Sexellent, that makes two, what with the silly Chinese thing on your chest," Reagan says.
"Dickhole, it's not silly it means Tortured Soul," I say in her defence.
"And soon will be three," ‘Nik says smugly.
"What's the next one then?" Reagan asks finishing her drink.
"Some little tribal fucker I'll stick on my lower back. It's this awesome thing I designed, like the Slipknot thing Joey did but way more mutated," she explains.
"Yo heads up! You’re on" one of the chicks from this Indie band tells us.
"'Ight thanks," I say grabbing my bass guitar up from the table. Its paint is chipped off in big chunks, it’s splattered with random irremovable stains and also has stuff duct taped on and trashed with permanent marker over the deep purple paint work it once had.
Reagan gets her red and black guitar from its stand in the corner that's not as fucked up as mine, mainly because it's not old, but also because she takes more care if it. I find my long fingerless PVC gloves and slip them on as Veronika gets her drumsticks that she cherishes more than her life, that being because I got Joey Jordison to give them up and sign them one time a while ago. Some freak tried to steal one of them and he got the shit beaten out of him for it. Well it's not like Veronika didn't' get a few months in jail for it too. The three of us stomp on towards the stage as we hear our opener from a barmaid.
"This next band is known for the hairdye obsession and love of gothic drag queens..." she says.
We all smirk and stride over, as she puts the mic back in its stand and then turns up the other mic just as loud on the amp as she steps back to the bar.
We play such classics as Body Bag then Invidia, before stopping for a breather.
"Hello," Reagan growls into her mic.
"I would like to introduce ourselves," I say.
"Beating the shit out of her bones for your entertainment...is Niko-Siko" Reagan says stepping back and spreading her arm towards Veronika. She meanwhile is randomly drumming some Birthday Massacre song half heartedly.
"Screaming for sexx on toast and playing her merry lil guitar in the name of lust is Satan...AKA Reagan," I whisper eerily.
"Moans of pain, perhaps pleasure and shredding her claws for you is the sexual deviant, Eddy Deadstar. And we are The Vampyre Projekt . . . formerly known as The Gloominati," Reagan says.
"Now FUCK 'TIL YOU BLEED!" I scream into my mic and then stomp along with the heavy bass riff into the next song . . . Fuck 'Til You bleed. We finish with our cover of Living dead Girl by Rob Zombie. The show obviously got some response from the crowd. They can't seem to shut up about it.
After numerous drinks and hanging out, getting laid in the toilet cubicles and puking up the only food I've digested in a week, I stumble on home at roughly 4am. We manage it all the way back to the apartment...climbing the stairs and dragging our boots in our hands. I crash through the door and sprawl out on the floor. I end up puking out of the window and knocking myself unconscious on the wall beside my bed as the cover is ripped from the bed and falls on top of me.
Reagan
My ears faintly ring, I’m awake. I wriggle and find that I’m face down on the sofa, stained with so much alcohol, sweat and blood that it’s also been drowned in a ton of different deodorants to mask the awful odour. The morning light doesn't blind me, as there is no leakage through the heavy black curtains over the windows...bliss. I move my limbs and an empty bottle falls onto the carpet...also stained to fuck with alcohol and blood. Then I fall off the decrepit sofa onto the floor, which shows up all the dust bunnies and other crud under the sofa, there probably a severed finger under there too it smells so bad!
Moments later I’m dressed in black PVC pants and a small Murderdolls t-shirt with a shitload of jewellery and normal makeup, black eyeliner, mascara and clear lipgloss. Not forgetting to keep my eyebrows invisible so I can draw perfect lines instead of them. My curiosity pleads for me to peek around Elvira's door. After seeing her messed hair poking from beneath the sheets and the back of someone’s head across on the other side I grumble to myself, "Fucker." Thoughtlessly I stumble back into the living room.
Seconds later, she shuffles out of the door as I sit myself back on the sofa to watch TV.
"Yes! And she does it again!" Elvira grins "Score!" she pulls her hand into a fist and throws her elbow back along her side to accompany her statements.
"Well done" I look up and see her wrapped into a bed sheet, saving my eyes from being burnt with unwanted images of her nakedness.
"Shit you're gonna be hella moody now aren't you. I take it you didn't even the score," Elvira guesses.
"Hell girl! I might not have gotten laid back here with some retard but it's ok cuz I think I had at least two more than you in the fuck room last night," I sigh with a smirk.
"No way! We had the same. Don't call it the fuck room."
"Well I'm not in favour of calling it the toilets because it sounds gross. More people carry out foreplay or sexx in there than pissing anyway." I tell her "besides even if you think we drew, which we didn't, we're touring with Slipknot in T-minus three days and one week. Then I'm going to do Joey. Then we're going to get signed by Manson and be world famous. Then...as if that weren't enough, all our fans will adore me way more because I'm hot and you’re not" I stick my tongue out childishly. Elvira gasps then raises an eyebrow.
"Yay Slipknot! We need champagne to celebrate!" she jumps up then spins and runs smack into the bathroom door, knocking herself to the floor. I crack up into a laughing fit while she sits there as if the door wasn't ever there before.
"Maybe not, we could have done enough celebrating last night...perhaps," she says, grabbing some clothes that were thrown on the floor the other day when we came back from LA.
"You're so weird," I shake my head at her.
"Right! We must get to work . . . yes, yes!" Elvie says once she's dressed. Then she sits cross legged and pouts, "must figure out what I'm taking on tour with me, planning ahead is good!"
"Er...Elv...it's in almost two weeks. You never plan that far ahead," I inform her, raising my freshly drawn on eyebrows too.
"Fo shizzle mah nizzle!" she bursts out with a glare kept to the floor in front of her, then shuts up for a few minutes of silence. "Shush this requires deep thought and motherfucking contemplation ass licker!" she says, still staring hard at the floor as if thinking really hard. You're about to comment on the 'shizzle' sentence but she brings her finger to her lips, nudging the rings, as if to say 'CONTEMPLATION ALERT-SPEAK AND DIE!!'
T-minus one week and three days slowly quickly decreases and we run out of time with getting manicures and new hair styles, shopping and work, planning and booking gigs and arranging a show for Manson so see.
On the manicure note; I have fake nails that are guaranteed to last up to 3 months, painted delicately red with black skull and crossbones on each nail. Elvira has black with neon green cobwebs which look cute. When at the hair salon, I buy some black and transparent hair falls, my hair is newly dyed a glimmering shade of red and the stylist shows me how to put the hair falls in. Elvira has Lolita type ringlets and her hair blind black again with a few deep purple chunks in. After the gorgeous makeover of course the shopping trips came, both of us acquiring numerous miniskirts, different pants and random Dark Star stuff.
Following our last shopping trip to Camden . . . we collapse on the sofa, throwing shopping bags to our feet and finishing off plastic disposable cups of tea. The warm liquid gliding down my throat is almost soothing. If it weren't for my hyperactivity then I'd be asleep.
"I almost married my GIRLFRIEND THE LESBIAN!" I holler jumping up from my seat.
"Reagan, not now, Elv wants sleep," Elvira says.
"T.S!" I say and sift through my new CDs.
"Fuck off you mayonnaise," she says.
"Why the dickens am I a mayonnaise?" I ask finding the CD.
"Cuz I said so. Now fuck off and die," she says lying down.
In pure annoying spirits, I get my CD and stick it into the huge sound system that she got me last year. It's probably the most expensive thing we own in the entire apartment...aside from the amps we have. Anyway I turn the volume up full and skip ahead to Dirty Pretty Things which takes a few minutes for her to recognise.
"Where the fuck did you find this?" she bellows, "You have to order this motherfucker dude. Shops don't sell it!"
"Oh but they do," I throw her the CD case of Electra-Kill’'s The Death of Venus 292. "And the next phenomenon..." I give her Fontanelle, Nemesisters and Minneapolism by Babes in Toyland.
"Dude you make me sick," she shakes her head at me, looking down at the cases.
"Awh I love you too!" I sit on her lap and hug her. "Oops!" I drop another CD onto her purposely as I pull away.
She stares down at it in amazement before looking up at you with an open mouth.
“I love you Reagan!" she says diving from the sofa onto me and landing us both on the floor.
“Wait a sec, is this compensation for something?" she asks shiftily.
"No..." I answer genuinely.
"Who's died? I don't get my Babes in Toyland collection completed, a better version of my Electra-Kill CD and then Panic! At The Disco for nothing."
"Yeah but I love you so there!" I sigh and throw her off me.
"Is this cuz you killed Wednesday and Deadstar?" she asks.
"I'm sorry I accidentally killed your cats but it wasn't cuz of that no," I tell her, rolling my eyes.
The dire conversation is finished as I exit the room; dragging the shopping bags along into the place I call a hole. Around twenty minutes of listening to Happy Hardcore, putting your clothes into a suitcase and checking everything three times to make sure I’m not missing a thing [even though checking another few times in the morning is inevitable], and drinking WKD; Elvira busts through my room grinning like a maniac and throwing me onto the bed, just like before.
"What on motherfucking earth are you doing scum fucker?!" I squeal.
"Being me!" she answers. As I choke for breath she drops some form of substance into my mouth. It sits under my tongue and I know from the taste it can only be one thing; acid trip!
"Awh my baby Elvira! Lets have some fuckage!" I beam, throwing her off my bed so she lands hard on the cement floor, but its ok cuz she likes it....strangely enough. I get my many CDs and then find FDQ I take one and put it in the CD player, skipping to the desired track.
"FUCK!" we both yell in time. Dancing randomly around the dimly coloured room, I turn the music up as loud as it will go and open the window, getting all sorts of complaints and abuse from the neighbours.
Elvira
Things become clear and I remember drinking a disgusting amount of alcohol and Reagan's near death experience.
"Argh my melon dude!" I grumble whilst sitting up.
"Morning, ugly. Come off your trip yet?" comes the over familiar voice of my partner in crime.
"Shit man, if you weren't you, I'd put a bullet through your head right now," I grumble "we've lived together for too long," I get up and wander around gathering thoughts.
"We have to go to work today...sigh...Slipknot eh," she rolls her eyes.
"Shit I better start packing," I mumble then go to fix my hair perfectly as it was when first done.
After everything is sorted, we are about to leave when I notice a message on the answer machine. I figure that we'd be late and just leave it instead.
"Come on, doll, we got a show to do later, remember?" Reagan tells me.
"Yeah" I groan, in despair for Noir.
"Oh dahlin...things will be ok. I fucking promise you that. We're gonna get her back and never let go. She'll be yours for ever and ever." Reagan reminds me soothingly and smooths over my hair, pulling me into one of her comfortingly warm hugs that seems to melt my problems away.
"Y'know. Can we see if the porno shops till open? I wanna go get a nurse outfit for the show" I ask sighing and plastering a small smile onto my face.
"Yeah. We could even call Veronika and see what she would like eh," she says, getting up from her seat. She gathers some trash and puts it in the bin before putting everything else of hers into her bag.
"Sure why not," I reply shutting down my computer and stuff various papers and makeup bag into my vandalised bag.
We make our way out of the office, locking the door and leave the building to get back to the porn shop.
"I'm gonna get my outfit. Call ‘Nik and ask what she wants," I request walking through the black door which sounds a bell as it creaks open.
"'Ight. Might get some props as well, that'd kick so much ass," Reagan shakes her head with a silly grin while glancing at various 'props'.
I look through diverse styles until I find the perfect red and black PVC mini dress with lacing up the back and matching hat. I then find the right size and go to the changing rooms to try it on because nobodies around to ask, plus I don't actually steal shit like this. After finding that it fits perfectly I pay for the outfit, get a black PVC playboy bunny outfit for Veronika and then some stuff like accessories for us all. After this we proceed home to drop off work stuff and then it’s off to the club to get ready for the show.
It gets to 9pm and we have to be on the stage in half an hour, when the other band finishes. I spend time slowly applying white liquid and powder foundation over everything exposed which is the top of my legs where my stockings finish, my arms that aren't getting insulation tape or fishnet over, up my neck and a bit of my chest and then my face of course. Next is black lipstick, then the heavy eyeliner and eye shadow before finishing with huge fake red eyelashes. Reagan of course lights up the audiences' day in her black and red cop uniform with cool military style PVC hat, same amount of makeup as me but with some drawn on stitches around her throat. Veronika has on her PVC mini--ass hugging--shorts, black New Rock boots with wide fishnet stockings, black collar with fuchsia pink bow tie and matching cuffs of course, with a black and pink PVC corset too [the black and pink bunny ears go without saying...I hope o.O]. Then same makeup though she has bright orange fake eyelashes to match her hair that has bright red chunks though it, even though it clashes big time with the pink. Veronika is extra tall, half a foot taller than me at 5'9. Her eyes are bright green but she masks them with special pink contacts I got for her at the shop earlier.
"This gonna be a good show tonight or what?" she says brushing through her hair while grinning.
"Boy is this gonna be good," Reagan nods while drinking some WKD and then continues miming to Links 2,3,4 by Rammstein as it plays in the background.
"Dude I did another one, it should be lucky," Veronika pulls her hair back to reveal a ring through her ear surrounded by pink flesh.
"Why is it supposed to be lucky? Piercing yourself like that you mong" I shake my head and nod along to the song.
"Cuz five is my lucky number. Now I have five up each ear....it’s a signnn!" she says ominously.
"Oh....yeah...totally," Reagan rolls her eyes.
My drummer digresses and pokes around with her nose ring instead before moving to mess with her eyebrow bar.
"What happened to that new tat you were getting? Ever get it?" I ask with a yawn as I sit beside her on the sofa.
"Tsch, of course. You have little or no faith in me and my word whatsoever. Check it out for yourself," ‘Nik turns and pulls her hair into her grasp, lifting it from her back to show a black widow spider wrapping itself around a crimson hour glass at the top of her back.
"Sexellent, that makes two, what with the silly Chinese thing on your chest," Reagan says.
"Dickhole, it's not silly it means Tortured Soul," I say in her defence.
"And soon will be three," ‘Nik says smugly.
"What's the next one then?" Reagan asks finishing her drink.
"Some little tribal fucker I'll stick on my lower back. It's this awesome thing I designed, like the Slipknot thing Joey did but way more mutated," she explains.
"Yo heads up! You’re on" one of the chicks from this Indie band tells us.
"'Ight thanks," I say grabbing my bass guitar up from the table. Its paint is chipped off in big chunks, it’s splattered with random irremovable stains and also has stuff duct taped on and trashed with permanent marker over the deep purple paint work it once had.
Reagan gets her red and black guitar from its stand in the corner that's not as fucked up as mine, mainly because it's not old, but also because she takes more care if it. I find my long fingerless PVC gloves and slip them on as Veronika gets her drumsticks that she cherishes more than her life, that being because I got Joey Jordison to give them up and sign them one time a while ago. Some freak tried to steal one of them and he got the shit beaten out of him for it. Well it's not like Veronika didn't' get a few months in jail for it too. The three of us stomp on towards the stage as we hear our opener from a barmaid.
"This next band is known for the hairdye obsession and love of gothic drag queens..." she says.
We all smirk and stride over, as she puts the mic back in its stand and then turns up the other mic just as loud on the amp as she steps back to the bar.
We play such classics as Body Bag then Invidia, before stopping for a breather.
"Hello," Reagan growls into her mic.
"I would like to introduce ourselves," I say.
"Beating the shit out of her bones for your entertainment...is Niko-Siko" Reagan says stepping back and spreading her arm towards Veronika. She meanwhile is randomly drumming some Birthday Massacre song half heartedly.
"Screaming for sexx on toast and playing her merry lil guitar in the name of lust is Satan...AKA Reagan," I whisper eerily.
"Moans of pain, perhaps pleasure and shredding her claws for you is the sexual deviant, Eddy Deadstar. And we are The Vampyre Projekt . . . formerly known as The Gloominati," Reagan says.
"Now FUCK 'TIL YOU BLEED!" I scream into my mic and then stomp along with the heavy bass riff into the next song . . . Fuck 'Til You bleed. We finish with our cover of Living dead Girl by Rob Zombie. The show obviously got some response from the crowd. They can't seem to shut up about it.
After numerous drinks and hanging out, getting laid in the toilet cubicles and puking up the only food I've digested in a week, I stumble on home at roughly 4am. We manage it all the way back to the apartment...climbing the stairs and dragging our boots in our hands. I crash through the door and sprawl out on the floor. I end up puking out of the window and knocking myself unconscious on the wall beside my bed as the cover is ripped from the bed and falls on top of me.
Reagan
My ears faintly ring, I’m awake. I wriggle and find that I’m face down on the sofa, stained with so much alcohol, sweat and blood that it’s also been drowned in a ton of different deodorants to mask the awful odour. The morning light doesn't blind me, as there is no leakage through the heavy black curtains over the windows...bliss. I move my limbs and an empty bottle falls onto the carpet...also stained to fuck with alcohol and blood. Then I fall off the decrepit sofa onto the floor, which shows up all the dust bunnies and other crud under the sofa, there probably a severed finger under there too it smells so bad!
Moments later I’m dressed in black PVC pants and a small Murderdolls t-shirt with a shitload of jewellery and normal makeup, black eyeliner, mascara and clear lipgloss. Not forgetting to keep my eyebrows invisible so I can draw perfect lines instead of them. My curiosity pleads for me to peek around Elvira's door. After seeing her messed hair poking from beneath the sheets and the back of someone’s head across on the other side I grumble to myself, "Fucker." Thoughtlessly I stumble back into the living room.
Seconds later, she shuffles out of the door as I sit myself back on the sofa to watch TV.
"Yes! And she does it again!" Elvira grins "Score!" she pulls her hand into a fist and throws her elbow back along her side to accompany her statements.
"Well done" I look up and see her wrapped into a bed sheet, saving my eyes from being burnt with unwanted images of her nakedness.
"Shit you're gonna be hella moody now aren't you. I take it you didn't even the score," Elvira guesses.
"Hell girl! I might not have gotten laid back here with some retard but it's ok cuz I think I had at least two more than you in the fuck room last night," I sigh with a smirk.
"No way! We had the same. Don't call it the fuck room."
"Well I'm not in favour of calling it the toilets because it sounds gross. More people carry out foreplay or sexx in there than pissing anyway." I tell her "besides even if you think we drew, which we didn't, we're touring with Slipknot in T-minus three days and one week. Then I'm going to do Joey. Then we're going to get signed by Manson and be world famous. Then...as if that weren't enough, all our fans will adore me way more because I'm hot and you’re not" I stick my tongue out childishly. Elvira gasps then raises an eyebrow.
"Yay Slipknot! We need champagne to celebrate!" she jumps up then spins and runs smack into the bathroom door, knocking herself to the floor. I crack up into a laughing fit while she sits there as if the door wasn't ever there before.
"Maybe not, we could have done enough celebrating last night...perhaps," she says, grabbing some clothes that were thrown on the floor the other day when we came back from LA.
"You're so weird," I shake my head at her.
"Right! We must get to work . . . yes, yes!" Elvie says once she's dressed. Then she sits cross legged and pouts, "must figure out what I'm taking on tour with me, planning ahead is good!"
"Er...Elv...it's in almost two weeks. You never plan that far ahead," I inform her, raising my freshly drawn on eyebrows too.
"Fo shizzle mah nizzle!" she bursts out with a glare kept to the floor in front of her, then shuts up for a few minutes of silence. "Shush this requires deep thought and motherfucking contemplation ass licker!" she says, still staring hard at the floor as if thinking really hard. You're about to comment on the 'shizzle' sentence but she brings her finger to her lips, nudging the rings, as if to say 'CONTEMPLATION ALERT-SPEAK AND DIE!!'
T-minus one week and three days slowly quickly decreases and we run out of time with getting manicures and new hair styles, shopping and work, planning and booking gigs and arranging a show for Manson so see.
On the manicure note; I have fake nails that are guaranteed to last up to 3 months, painted delicately red with black skull and crossbones on each nail. Elvira has black with neon green cobwebs which look cute. When at the hair salon, I buy some black and transparent hair falls, my hair is newly dyed a glimmering shade of red and the stylist shows me how to put the hair falls in. Elvira has Lolita type ringlets and her hair blind black again with a few deep purple chunks in. After the gorgeous makeover of course the shopping trips came, both of us acquiring numerous miniskirts, different pants and random Dark Star stuff.
Following our last shopping trip to Camden . . . we collapse on the sofa, throwing shopping bags to our feet and finishing off plastic disposable cups of tea. The warm liquid gliding down my throat is almost soothing. If it weren't for my hyperactivity then I'd be asleep.
"I almost married my GIRLFRIEND THE LESBIAN!" I holler jumping up from my seat.
"Reagan, not now, Elv wants sleep," Elvira says.
"T.S!" I say and sift through my new CDs.
"Fuck off you mayonnaise," she says.
"Why the dickens am I a mayonnaise?" I ask finding the CD.
"Cuz I said so. Now fuck off and die," she says lying down.
In pure annoying spirits, I get my CD and stick it into the huge sound system that she got me last year. It's probably the most expensive thing we own in the entire apartment...aside from the amps we have. Anyway I turn the volume up full and skip ahead to Dirty Pretty Things which takes a few minutes for her to recognise.
"Where the fuck did you find this?" she bellows, "You have to order this motherfucker dude. Shops don't sell it!"
"Oh but they do," I throw her the CD case of Electra-Kill’'s The Death of Venus 292. "And the next phenomenon..." I give her Fontanelle, Nemesisters and Minneapolism by Babes in Toyland.
"Dude you make me sick," she shakes her head at me, looking down at the cases.
"Awh I love you too!" I sit on her lap and hug her. "Oops!" I drop another CD onto her purposely as I pull away.
She stares down at it in amazement before looking up at you with an open mouth.
“I love you Reagan!" she says diving from the sofa onto me and landing us both on the floor.
“Wait a sec, is this compensation for something?" she asks shiftily.
"No..." I answer genuinely.
"Who's died? I don't get my Babes in Toyland collection completed, a better version of my Electra-Kill CD and then Panic! At The Disco for nothing."
"Yeah but I love you so there!" I sigh and throw her off me.
"Is this cuz you killed Wednesday and Deadstar?" she asks.
"I'm sorry I accidentally killed your cats but it wasn't cuz of that no," I tell her, rolling my eyes.
The dire conversation is finished as I exit the room; dragging the shopping bags along into the place I call a hole. Around twenty minutes of listening to Happy Hardcore, putting your clothes into a suitcase and checking everything three times to make sure I’m not missing a thing [even though checking another few times in the morning is inevitable], and drinking WKD; Elvira busts through my room grinning like a maniac and throwing me onto the bed, just like before.
"What on motherfucking earth are you doing scum fucker?!" I squeal.
"Being me!" she answers. As I choke for breath she drops some form of substance into my mouth. It sits under my tongue and I know from the taste it can only be one thing; acid trip!
"Awh my baby Elvira! Lets have some fuckage!" I beam, throwing her off my bed so she lands hard on the cement floor, but its ok cuz she likes it....strangely enough. I get my many CDs and then find FDQ I take one and put it in the CD player, skipping to the desired track.
"FUCK!" we both yell in time. Dancing randomly around the dimly coloured room, I turn the music up as loud as it will go and open the window, getting all sorts of complaints and abuse from the neighbours.
Elvira
Things become clear and I remember drinking a disgusting amount of alcohol and Reagan's near death experience.
"Argh my melon dude!" I grumble whilst sitting up.
"Morning, ugly. Come off your trip yet?" comes the over familiar voice of my partner in crime.
"Shit man, if you weren't you, I'd put a bullet through your head right now," I grumble "we've lived together for too long," I get up and wander around gathering thoughts.
"We have to go to work today...sigh...Slipknot eh," she rolls her eyes.
"Shit I better start packing," I mumble then go to fix my hair perfectly as it was when first done.
After everything is sorted, we are about to leave when I notice a message on the answer machine. I figure that we'd be late and just leave it instead.