Hope Begins to Fade

Zacky’s POV

“Oh gnomiepoo, where are you?” I called in a singsong voice.

“Zacky! Go find Johnny, maybe she’ll talk to him.” Val instructed.

“Why, won’t she talk to you?”

“She’s locked herself in.” Jaz sighed.

“Maybe she’ll talk to Christ,” Daytona giggled. “Ha, get it?” she laughed loudly at her own joke as she held Sam in her arms.

“Ha ha. Ok. I’ll be right back.” I muttered.

“I want to come with you baby.” Jaz called, lacing her fingers with mine as we ran off to find Johnny.

“Do you think Scar’s alright?” I questioned her.

Her silence meant she was debating with her thoughts. “Maybe. I think she’s just nervous…”

“Oh.”

We found Johnny sitting with Scar’s parents in the lobby.

“Hey guys, what’s up?”

“We kinda have a situation here…” I scratched the back of my neck.

He stood, fear plaguing his face. “What?”

I motioned him over so Scar’s parents wouldn’t get too worried. They were busy playing with Serenity anyway. “Scar won’t talk to anyone. We sort of figured you could help us…”

Nodding, we hurriedly darted back to Scar’s dressing area where the girls were still at it, trying to get her to open up. The door hadn’t open in a while, I’d imagined.

Everyone backed up as Johnny made his way to the door. He knocked lightly. “Scar?” he paused. “Can I come in…?”

Everyone’s anticipation floored forth. The door opened and Johnny walked inside.

“Let’s find something to do. She probably won’t talk if she knows we’re still here.” Daytona decided.

We walked away to assure everything else was in order for the wedding.

Johnny’s POV

As soon as I entered I found Scar had tear-filled eyes. Her makeup was still flawless thanks to Val’s waterproof stuff. Her dress looked beautiful on her.

“Sweetie, what’s wrong?” I sat beside her on the red couch, placing my hand on her thigh comfortingly.

Scar’s POV

I felt as if I couldn’t talk to the others. They wouldn’t understand or worse; they’d say they did.

“Thanks for being here.” I hugged Johnny.

“You know I always am. Now, please, talk to me.”

Pulling back slightly, I took a deep breath. “I’m nervous about doing this.”

“The wedding?”

“Yes.”

“Why?”

Sighing, I decided to continue. “Well, there has been a lot between Syn and I…”

My head began flashing back to many different points in our relationship…

….

He shakes his head but stands and walks over to me. “I know how it is to fall for someone who loves someone else…” without another word, he planted his lips to mine.

….

“Goodnight.” He said abruptly. He pushed me off him and slid pants and a hoodie on.
“Where are you going?” I called. He slammed the door. I sat there, shaking as sobs racked through my body. ‘I don’t need to...I won’t…not again…’ I told myself, but it was too late. I stood and walked to my room, grabbing the knife from my bag and walking back to Brian’s room. It didn’t take me any time and before I knew it, I was bleeding; the crimson fear dripping into the sink.
And this time, I knew I wouldn’t regret it…

And when Michelle was in the picture…

“See, you’d be pissed if it was Matt and I alone on a date!”
“Yeah. ‘cause Matt still likes you!” he replied.
“Yeah, whatever. And Michelle still likes you; there’s no difference!”
“How so? She doesn’t like me.” He sighed, angry.
“Oh, sure. ‘I miss you Bri.’ Don’t pretend I didn’t hear that!”
“At least I didn’t get raped.”

…

I was about to leave when I saw them kissing. My eyes grew wide and watery. Fuck. My body wracked with sobs and I couldn’t stop myself. After their kiss, Brian looked out the window, his expression turning to shocked. He stood, obviously wanting to explain. Before he could even get outside, I ran. My feet racing along the cement. I glanced back a second to see Brian standing in the parking lot; eyes wide, mouth agape, looking like a little lost puppy dog. And there’s Michelle, holding onto him, pretending to care, and smirking after me. I sobbed but faced foreword, running down the road as fast as I could. My legs ached but so did my heart…

~~~~

“Johnny.” I spoke again after my mind stopped racing. “I’m afraid things are gonna get bad…again.”

“How so?”

“He cheated before and if he does again when we’re married, I…I just don’t know how this is gonna work…”

“I don’t think he’d do that to you, Scar. Baby, I’m sure he’s done with that…” Johnny used his fingers to draw circles on my thigh.

~~~

No cars passed me; I was alone. This time it was true, Brian obviously didn’t love me and no one was here. I collapsed then pulled my body up, pulling my knees to my chest, resting my head on them, and digging in my pocket for my cell. I pulled it out, calling the only one I could think of; Johnny Christ.
It rang four times… “Hello? Christ here.” I would’ve laughed at the way he said that but I wondered if I would even be able to again.
“Johnny!” I gasped. “Johnny, I need you!” my voice was full of sobs.
“Scar…sweetie, what happened?” he soothed.
“Brian.” Was all I could choke out.
“God…where are you?”
“On 53rd and Warner.” I sobbed again, tears falling onto my legs.
“Alright. Stay there.” He hung up quickly.

…

Before anything else happened, his cell rang. He pushed me off of him, putting my cell on the nightstand and opening his cell. “Hello.” I knew it was Brian. If I couldn’t talk to him, why could he? “Hey, man.” His voice was now monotone. I climbed off the bed and got on my knees, undoing Johnny’s pants. His expression was priceless. His eyes grew wide as I pulled his dick out, licking the tip. “Yeah, I’m just… uh…” he had trouble speaking. He moaned. I could hear Brian on the other end. I stopped, his voice bringing back memories. Be he cheated before…and kissed Michelle…God only knows what else they’ve done tonight…

I gave him a nice deep-throat, hearing his moan; his mouth closed in order not to give away our little secret. His knees began to buckle. “Gates, I’m kinda…uh…” he moaned again. “Busy…” he stammered then slammed his phone shut and turned it off, placing it next to mine.

~~~

Johnny was always there. “Thanks, sweetie. I’m sure this wedding is going to be great.”

“You’re welcome.” He eyed me a bit. “Let me be the first to tell you that you look…breathtaking.”

Blushing, I gazed down. “Thanks, Johnny.”

He came in to kiss my cheek; images again ran through my head…

~~~

I fumbled to undo his belt, tearing his pants off, throwing them in the corner. “Scar…” he mumbled, reaching down to my vagina he pushed his finger in deep. Moving his finger back and forth, hitting my spot each time, causing me to moan loudly; the feeling overwhelming.

“Johnny, I need you!” I moaned. “Now.” He slid his finger out, a smirk on his face.

“Really now?” he taunted, sitting up a bit, wrapping his arm around my waist, pulling me closer. Before I could move, he flipped me over, now on top of me, straddling my hips. His dick inches from penetrating me. “Scar…” he placed the tip against my clit. “I have wanted to do this for so long.” I nodded breathlessly, my eyes closing as he slid in. My back arched as he pushed in farther. I gasped, opening my eyes and pulling him to me. “Ah ah ha…” he pulled back.

~~~

As his lips landed on my cheek, I turned my head to kiss him. He gazed at me quizzically until I saw the passion form in his eyes. His lips moved in time with mine as we sat on the couch; me in my wedding dress, him in his groomsmen tuxedo.

~~~

Johnny pushed his hands to my waist, rocking me back and forth faster; I could feel a huge sensation as I released and soon, Johnny’s hands pushed harder into me as he released as well. I closed my eyes, feeling my body go limp as he finished, giving a few more thrusts then putting his forehead to mine as I got off him, laying next to him.

~~~

Smirking into the kiss, I ran my hand through his hair and felt its softness. He moaned, pulling me onto his lap and biting my lip lightly. The kisses deepened while I ground my hips into his, feeling his hard-on. The things I could do to this man…and the things he could do to me!

My mind really needs to stop thinking…

…

“Guys, quiet for a sec!” Val called. Silence. All but the ringing in my ears.

“Sweetie, what’s wrong?” he asked.

I took his hands, a small smile on my face through the threatening tears. “Brian, sweetie… I’m pregnant.”

The ringing was gone now.

No sound.

Nothing.

I held my breath, feeling the pumps of my heart pulsing through me.

Tears fell.

‘He doesn’t want it. He doesn’t love me…’ I told myself.

“Scar…” he had tears in his eyes. “Sweetie, that’s…that’s great!” he kissed me, embracing me lovingly. I breathed into his shoulder, letting tears fell.

...

“Baby, look at me.” He did. “The past doesn’t matter. Not at all. I mean, I know you had things with girls that left later. Be it a relationship and someone broke it off or a one night stand. But that’s ok.” The sadness in his eyes brought tears to mine. I knew by that look that he regretted it all. “That’s ok because…” my voice was fading in and out a bit. “because somewhere in this twisted path; the one that’s thrown us in every direction. From hate to love, pain, fame, loss, regret, friendship, lies, heartbreak, betrayal; everything. Everything from our past. What we did, that doesn’t matter. All that matters is we found each other. We fell in love. Sure, we went through a lot, but that just shows we were strong enough to go pick up the pieces and love again. Baby…” he took my hands, tears in both of our eyes. “We’re starting a family now.” the baby kicked at just the right moment. “We’re gonna do things right. You’ll be a great father and I’ll hopefully be an awesome mother! We have our friends supporting us through it all. All 6 of them and my parents. Baby, that’s all that matters. Now. Not then. I love you.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tears filled my closed eyes as I pulled back.

“No, Johnny.” I stated sadly. “No.”

He stayed quiet, looking down at himself, seemingly searching his hands for an answer of why this happened. Of why we seemed so perfect. And why we both knew the truth; we couldn’t be together.

“I know. I…sort of figured as much…” his gaze still never left his hands.

“I’m really sorry Johnny. I want to be with you, hell, I love you…but this isn’t fair to Brian…” I was about to start sobbing until he took my hands.

“I know,” he kissed them lightly, still not looking at me. “Just…please, know that if anything happens between you two…I’ll be waiting with open arms…” his voice was so broken. Every word hurt me. I did this. I pulled on his heart strings and I made his life a living hell. Will he ever love anyone besides me? “Scarlet, I love you. But as they stupidly say, I need to let you go. Someone else beat me to getting you and it’s only right…hell, you’re getting fucking married in an hour. Just…please? Remember that I’m here. Forever.” Finally, when his eyes met mine, I found they had tears; salty trails streamed down his face. My eyes bore into his for a minute, memorizing every last detail I could muster as if it were the last time I’d be this close to him.

I held him then, pulled him close in my arms and cried; our tears mixing together. I didn’t want to let go but my minds every intention was to. The wedding needed to happen. I needed to be with Brian. Even though he hurt me, it was like I had said: all that matters is that we found each other.

“Johnny, I love you too. I will cherish every memory of the love we share. It’s just…not meant to be. Not in this life, anyway. I’m glad you understand…” my voice was barely a whisper as we held our foreheads together, noses touching.

I stood up allowing him to follow and walked over to the door. Our tears were still falling as we kissed once more; the most passionate kiss I have ever had from him. Our last kiss goodbye…

“Love you.”

“Love you too.”

He unlocked the door, turning to face me as he backed out, never leaving my gaze. Another tear fell from his eyes and then his face was gone from my vision; replaced by the brown wood of the closed door.

I fell to the floor, resting my head on my knees while I leaned my back to the door.

Another lesson learned in life
And I keep asking myself why…