Everybody Cares, Everybody Understands

“Meg, the couple’s lady canceled on us!” I was walking from the train into work and had just gotten a call from our new couple’s therapist canceling and rescheduling us.

Things with Gabe and I have been okay since we admitted we needed help. I was trying my best to cope and I think the meds were really starting to take effect, which couldn’t have happened at a better time. It’s only been a week and Gabe was still spending a lot of time away from the apartment, staying out late with the band and coming home drunk a lot, but he wasn’t ignoring me as much, which was a step forward, I guess. We needed someone to bring us together because now was the time.

“When did she reschedule you for?” She asked calmly.

“In two weeks! I need this, Meg. I want to save my marriage,” I choked up a bit, but swallowed it as I entered work. I had to be professional and keep my personal life and work separate.

“You guys are at least communicating with each other now. Maybe do your best and try it on your own for the next two weeks? You two will make it,” She assured me, but I wasn’t convinced.

“Don’t leave me,” I smiled at Margot, the receptionist and went directly into my office and closed the door.

“I’ll be back before you know it, okay?”

Meghan was headed to London for two and a half weeks to work on the EMA’s. She was an event planner for a huge company that mostly catered to major corporations. She was great at her job and was always traveling. Meghan would be there for the pre and post parties as well as the actual ceremony and then booked three extra days for herself. I was jealous of her freedom.

“I know, I know. The cancellation just ruined my day and I have a new director of admissions and he’s coming today. I hope he’s not a total asshole. All I would need is for him to hate my ideas and make me start all over again,” I groaned as I took off my sweater, it was a little chilly this morning.

“I’m sure he’ll be cool. It’s fucking Brooklyn, you can’t afford to be a prick,” She said dryly.

“Speaking of pricks, what happened with you and Rob the other night?”

The other night Rob showed up at our apartment just to say “hi,” and Meghan was there. It was still awkward and both of them refused to discuss the huge elephant in the room. Meghan was nice enough and Rob stayed to hang out. At the end of the night Rob offered to take her home and while I could see on Meghan’s face she wanted to say “no,” she politely accepted.

She had been so busy with preparation for her trip the past few days that I hadn’t gotten the scoop on what had happened and Rob wasn’t saying anything either.

“Nothing. I took a cab home,” She said quickly.

“Meghan, why can’t you just be nice to him?” I sighed. I loved talking about other people’s drama rather than mine.

“I know that he’s your friend and I respect that, but he wasn’t nice to me and I just don’t feel like being nice to him now.”

“And you were yelling at me for being immature,” I laughed and sat down behind my desk.

“There’s a difference. Rob is a coward who likes to string girls along just to tear them apart for his own pleasure. Gabe, well, I don’t think he’s anything like that,” Her voice was laced with so much disdain it was scary, but it was clear that she still was in love with him, but protecting herself.

“Oh, okay, sure. I see what you’re saying, but aren’t you being a little bit of a coward too? I mean, adults talk things out. Cowards run away from the elephant in the room,” I said with a touch of sarcasm.

“There’s no elephant in the room unless you’re talking about my ass, which you know I’m sensitive about,” She teased.

“Denial,” I shook my head and then there was a knock at the door. “Oh, Meg can I let you go?”

“Of course, I am about to go into a meeting anyway. I’ll call you from the airport tonight. Don’t worry about anything, it’ll all be okay,” She assured me.

“Thank you, I’ll talk to you later,” I said and closed up my phone. “Come in,” I called.

“Sorry, Sadler am I interrupting?” Margot asked.

“No, I was just finishing up a phone call. What’s up?”

“The new director of admissions and the dean of students will be down in ten minutes to meet with you. Is that okay?” She asked with a smile.

Margot was definitely the nicest person I had ever met; she was always so polite and always went out of her way. She was even there for me when I came back to work. I probably would have been a bigger mess than I am now, if it weren’t for her being so kind.
I cleaned up my desk a bit and hung up my sweater instead of having it slung on the back of my chair. I smoothed my dress down and ran my hands over my stomach, which was still a constant reminder for me. I still hadn’t lost all of the baby weight and my breasts were just starting to go back to normal. I was lactating for a while and then put on medication to stop it. I didn’t want the constant reminder, I didn’t need it and I was already an emotional mess. I figured I needed as few reminders as possible. I was just sore for a long time until they dried up.

There was a tiny knock at my door frame and I shook myself from my thoughts. I was standing in my office with my hands on my stomach still just staring at it. I straightened up and walked over to the door. The President and our new Director of Admissions were standing there.

“Come on in!” I smiled and let them come in.

“Sadler Saporta this is Lucas Wells, the new Director of Admissions,” The President, Christoph introduced us.

“Nice to meet you,” He shook my hand. “I’ve heard great things about your first year program, Sadler,” He smiled.

I was prepared to meet an older, stuffy guy, but Lucas was young and very modern and attractive. He looked to be in his thirties, he had brown hair with some grays in it. He was tall with a good build, not overly muscular, but you could tell he worked out. He was wearing a tailored navy and grey pinstripe suit that was very current and a skinny fuchsia tie. Lucas was definitely what I was expecting. I was expecting a veteran to come in and be totally against all my forward thinking ideas. I was pleasantly surprised.

“All true,” I smiled. “We’ll have to set up a time to talk about my program and your vision for admissions.”

“We certainly will, but if you’ll excuse me I’ve got more hands to shake and babies to hold,” He winked and he and Christoph walked out of my office.

And he had a sense of humor, maybe today wasn’t going to so terrible after all. I sat back down at my desk and started working on some things. I needed to get a press release done and off for final approval among other things.

“Good night, Sadie!” Margot called as she left the office.

“Night Margot! Have a good one!” I yelled to her and glanced at the clock on my computer. How did it get to be 6pm already? This day flew by.

My cell phone began to ring and it was Rob. I answered it immediately.

“Hello fantasy, how are you?” I asked and I started to clean up my desk to call it a night.

“I’m amazing. How are you doing?”

“Are you walking in the middle of Times Square?” I asked. I could only hear music, ambulances and tons of people.

“I am, actually. You are good at this game,” He laughed.

“What are you doing there?” I asked going and getting my sweater.

“Valencia has an interview at TRL. I wanted to see how you were feeling and if you were nervous about tonight,” He was such a good friend.

“She canceled and rescheduled this morning,” I sighed as I grabbed my bag and shut down my computer.

“Oh no, I’m sorry.”

“We’ll try in two weeks. I just wish that it wasn’t so reversed right now. He’s still avoiding me. I wish he wasn’t out with some of the people he’s been with lately. They just don’t have a problem with him avoiding me, you know?” I asked walking out the door and right into someone.

“Oh, I’m so sorry,” I said and looked up to see Lucas.

“Not a problem, I actually wanted to talk to you, but I see you’re busy,” He whispered.

“Rob, can I call you right back? I just ran over my new Director of Admissions,” I laughed.

“Of course. Love you,” He laughed.

“Love you too,” I smiled and closed up my phone.

“Your husband?” He asked.

“No, that was a good friend,” I was nervous all of a sudden and I didn’t know why.

“I wasn’t sure how late everyone stayed around. Today has been such a whirlwind and I’m trying to set up appointments in person, so I can get better at remembering everyone’s name,” I stepped back a bit, I didn’t realize how close I was to him, I was a bit embarrassed.

“Sadler,” I offered in case he forgot.

“I remember your name; it’s not a normal name,” Lucas casually pushed back one side of his suit coat and then tucked his hand into his pocket. He was effortlessly charismatic. I was probably watching him like a child at a cartoon movie – totally enthralled.

“You can call me Sadie if you prefer to,” My cell phone started to ring again, it was Meghan, shit. “I’m sorry, can I answer this really quick?”

“Of course, go ahead.”

“Hey Meg, can you just hold on two seconds?” I asked her.

“Sure, I’m just sitting here till about 7:30,” She yawned. I kept the phone on and put my arm back down at my side.

“Sorry, so you want to set up an appointment?” I asked really feeling awkward.

“Yeah, to discuss what you’re doing and how we can work more closely. When are you free? Maybe lunch?”

“Um, yeah…I guess it should be when you are free?”

“How about tomorrow?”

“I have a meeting at 1,” I was running through my day tomorrow. “And then we have that fundraiser at night…How about Friday?” I asked nervously.

“You seem nervous around me?” He grinned.

“Well, you’re my new boss, which can be a little nerve-wracking.” I laughed uneasily. My hands were starting to sweat.

“Don’t be nervous. I’m not a stiff,” He assured me. “Friday works. I won’t keep you. See you tomorrow, Sadie,” He smiled and walked out of the office.

I was stuck in my spot for a moment until I heard Meghan calling to me.

“Oh sorry, that was my new boss,” I stuttered and started walking out of the office, closing my door behind me.

“He was definitely coming on to you,” Meghan laughed in disbelief.

“What? Are you kidding me?”

“No, no I’m not. ‘You seem nervous around me,’ really?” She mocked him.

“Well, he makes me nervous. He’s my new boss and I just don’t want him to hate my program. I’ve worked so hard on it and I’m afraid a new person in the mix may cut it,” I argued as I walked out onto the campus.

“He also said he wants to work closely with you. I heard the intention in his voice, Sadler. You are always oblivious to when guys are into you,” She couldn’t believe I was denying it.

“Meg, it’s his first day. Not gonna happen and it’s not like that at all,” I laughed.

“I mean, that’s all you would need, right?”

“Exactly! Gabe said he was going to be home tonight, so I’m gonna pick up sushi for us and try and repair us. Small steps, right?” I asked as I walked towards the subway.

“That’s a good idea. Small things, for sure. You seem so much better; I want you to know that. I’m proud of you,” She said genuinely.

“Thanks. I’m feeling much better. I mean not completely over everything, but whoever is? But, I think I’m definitely coping better than I had been.”

“I’m glad. Things will be okay and I’ll be back soon. Don’t forget about Emily either, she’s there for you too!”

“I know, we’re getting together on Saturday for a girls day,” I smiled as I got to the train stop.

“Oh good. I’m sure you’re at the train by now, but if you need anything you can e-mail me and I’ll call you. I don’t want you incurring any international charges, okay?”

“I love you! Have so much fun!” She was unusually sympathetic today.

“I will and try and get some sex. You owe it to him,” She laughed and I had to as well and I closed up my phone and headed down the stairs for the train.

I got off near our apartment and stopped at Gabe’s favorite sushi place and ordered a ton of it. After the cancellation he said he was going to stay at the studio till about 8:30 and be home by 9, so I had some time to set it all up for him and make it a nice night.

I got home and it was a little after 8. I went and changed into something cute, but casual. I lit a bunch of the candles that we had around the apartment and dimmed the lights. I put on some music and then set up the dining room table with all the food for him. I wanted this to work so badly. I loved him and I wasn’t myself for a while. I needed to find my way back, for us to find our way back to each other; that’s what I wanted more than anything, right now.

I sat on the couch and picked up a magazine and waited for him to come home. I just wanted him to walk through the door and be happy to see me and see the effort. I also wanted him to be sober.

After an hour of waiting I cleaned up the food and put it back in the fridge. I didn’t want it to spoil. I opened a bottle of red wine I had and poured myself a glass and went back to the couch. I turned the TV on and flipped through the channels.

“I guess it’s more of the same,” I sighed as I looked at the clock on the TV, it was now after 1am.

I got up and blew out the candles and put my wine glass in the sink. So much for me waiting up to see him come home and be excited to see me. I shut off the lights and went to the bedroom. I had to be up in a few hours to go to work and it wouldn’t be long before I was awoken by Gabe stumbling into the apartment. I just wanted things to be different.