Why Do I Love You Like I Do?

Back in 2003
Kate's POV
Jackson said he needed to talk to me. I immediately began to worry because he sounded serious. The hopeful, somewhat insane part of my brain hoped this would be him confessing that he loved me and that we would finally get together but chances of that were slim. He was way out of my league. I opened the door to his bedroom to see Jackson sitting down on the bed. I sat down next to him.

"Hey babe, what’s on your mind?" I said curiously.

"Nothing. Well it’s just I have something to tell you.", Jackson said, seeming a bit nervous.

"Well, okay. What is it?" I said getting worried by the minute. Jay’s rarely nervous.

"Well I'm leaving..." he began.

I blinked a couple times tears starting form. Processing what he said I asked, “You’re doing what?”

"I'm sorry, but this could be really good for me I hope you can understand." He said softly.

"When are you leaving?", I said with tears welling up in my eyes all over again..

"In 2 weeks," he said.

"That soon?” I asked quietly, my voice tired from the silent sobs.

"Calm down, please, don't cry,” he said wiping the tears off my cheek.

"Why didn't you tell me sooner?”

"I didn’t want to see you this upset. I wanted to keep you happy as long as possible until I left. I promise to visit, email, IM and call you as much as I can.", he said looking into my eyes.

"Okay. Let's make the most of the time we have left." I said wiping my eyes and coming to terms that this is what is.

"That's my girl. Come on, let's go meet up with everyone at the beach." Jackson said with that heart melting smile.

At the Beach

"Hey Kate, are you alright?" One of our friends, Jake, asked.

"I told her." Jackson said. He told everyone else? He is in sooooooo much trouble.

"You told everyone else before me?" I said kinda angry.

"Uh, well you see, Katie. I just wanted to uh, I knew how upset you’d be and I didn’t uh. . .I’m sorry.” He said stuttering and getting flustered.

"You are so whipped Jack." Our friend Dave said, laughing at him.

"Shut up!" Jackson said blushing. Have I mentioned that he was cute?

Okay, now I have to forcibly remove my eyes from staring.

Two Weeks Later
Jackson's POV
At the airport

"Flight 29 to Los Angeles, California now boarding," The intercom boomed.

This was it. I'm moving to LA and Kate is staying here. I don't think she knows how much it hurts me to leave her without telling her that I love her more than anything, but I have to do this. This is what I have always dreamed of and more. Besides, she probably doesn't feel the same way.

"Bye Jay, I'm really going to miss you." She looked up at me with tears in her eyes. Knowing that it’s me making her cry is breaking my heart.

"Goodbye Kaitlyn, I'm going to come back soon. I promise."I said, pulling her into an embrace.

"You know I hate it when you use my full name." Her voice was muffled by my sweater.

"Final boarding call for Flight 29,” The intercom boomed again.

"I guess this is it.", I said, sadly.

"Yeah, I guess it is. Jay, I want you to know, you will always be apart of me and I love you. You will always be my best friend." She said, her voice small and shaky.

My heart set itself on the word “love” coming from her towards me. But the logical part of my brain reminded me that she also called me her friend.

"Goodbye Jackson,” Kate said hugging me tighter.

If I just leaned down just a little, I could kiss her and then she would know, but instead I leaned down and just kissed her cheek. I was mentally damning myself for not taking a chance and ending all the confusion and wonder.

"Goodbye Kate,” I said softly.

I felt very compelled to let her know that I was in love with her and that I have been for years, but I couldn’t do that to her. Not as I was leaving.

She hugged me one last time and then I boarded the plane.

As I looked out the window as the plane took off I couldn’t shake the nagging feeling that I would regret leaving her behind.