Decode

“Hey.” I said. They never made eye contact with me. Did they see the Rob thing? Oops.

“What have you guys been up to?” I asked. No one answered me for a while. I turned around to go upstairs but Lorri’s voice stopped me.

“We could as you the same.”

I turned around. “What’s your problem?” I responded to her tone.

“What’s yours?” she said, “Austin didn’t leave you, he’s practically dead, and you’re all over a famous guy like a cheap whore.”

“Oh, what, like you?” I asked, raising my eyebrows, “ You seriously want to call me out on guys? Cause I don’t know if you noticed, but you’re kind of a whore. I’m sorry I’ve slept with two guys in my entire life. Sorry you couldn’t keep count.”

“Two?!” Jessica asked, “You did sleep with Robert!” It was hard to tell if she was mad or laughing.

“Whatever, you guys can just go suck it. We all know Lorri’s had lots of practice.” I said, going upthe stairs. I heard her gasp and Kendra and Jess laugh. I walked to the spare bedroom and laid down. I was tired, so I slept. Of course, I had a nightmare. I woke up in a sweat, gasping for air. I sat up and immediately began sobbing with my head in my hands. I’m such a terrible person. How could I do this to Austin? He did nothing wrong to me. He died trying to marry me. What am I talking about? He’s not dead. Why was I thinking as if he were dead? Did this mean I want him dead? NO. No I can’t believe I just thought that. If something ever happened to Austin, even more than what has been done, I’ll kill myself. I need Austin to live. I need him to breath. This whole in my heart is only getting bigger.

What have I done to poor Rob? I’m such a horrible person. I looked at the clock. Nine o’clock. I walked down stairs and into the living room where everyone else was sitting on the couch watching T.V.

“Hey sleeping beauty.” Kendra said, “I was about to go make sure you were still breathing.”

“I’m fine when I’m sleeping, it’s when I’m awake you should be more concerned.” I spat out.

“Robert called for you.” Jessica said, “He was worried about you too. He called like every thirty minutes. It got to the point where I’d answer saying ‘not up yet.’ I feel like I know him.” she laughed. It was good to see her laugh. I know Austin’s situation was killing her. She was a lot braver than I was.

“Oh, uh okay. Thanks.” I said, my voice still scratchy. I went to the kitchen and dialed the call back number Jess left on the fridge for me. I smiled when he picked up.

“Hello?” he asked.

“Hey, it’s me.” I said. I felt stupid afterward.

“Oh hey!” he exclaimed, “You’re alive!”

I laughed, “Yeah I am. So what are you up to?”

He sighed, “I’m sitting at my place doing absolutely nothing. I’m so bored.”

“Would you like to hang out?” I asked.

“Sure.” he giggled.

“I have to do some grading, and all my stuff is-” I had to force out the words, “ at Austin’s house. I was wondering if you could drive me there.”

“Yes.” he said without skipping a beat, “Yeah anything for you.”

“Alright well I’ll see you soon then.”

“Bye Brookelynn.” he hung up the phone. I went upstairs to refresh myself so I didn’t look like a hobo. I got out a pair of dark wash skinny jeans and a white ‘wife-beater’ styled tank top. I walked into the bathroom and pinned my bangs to the side with a pin and fixed my eye make up. It was smeared everywhere and all I did was wipe my finger under my eyes to control it. I stepped into some flip flops and walked back downstairs where I saw Robert standing there.

“That was fast.” I told him. He smiled.

“Hey guys, I’m going to go get some of my stuff.” I said in the direction of the living room. Lorri passed me and asked, “Does he have to go with you too?”

I rolled my eyes, “Yeah, he does.”

“That’s Austin’s house you have no right to take him there.” she said. I took Rob’s arm and pushed him out the door, following behind him.

“God, you’re such a bitch!” I yelled grabbing my plaid coat. We walked to his car in silence.

“Are you sure it’s okay for me to-”

“Don’t listen to her. She’s just-”I couldn’t even find the right word for her, “Just ignore her.”