You Can’t Be Missed If You Never Go Away

I opened my eyes as flashes of last night whipped through my head.

”Hey, Gabe, I dare you to go over there by Bilvy. Give him a peck on the lips for me, will you?”

His cloudy eyes met mine, a smile crossed his face. He grabbed his beer from the counter, chugged it down. “Sure thing!”

--

I was wandering around the joint, looking for someone I knew. Anyone. I finally ran into Vicky. Literally.

“Shorry. I wasn’t looking where I was going-” Then I noticed her red eyes, the tear stains on her cheeks. I reached for her face. “What’s wrong?”

--

I’d taken her to one of the back rooms, sat her down on a sofa. I kneeled in front of her. “Vicky? Really what happened?”

“He’s drunk. I know that. I am too, so are you.. But he..”

“Who?” She turned her head away from me. Her hair was a mess and her mascara smeared around her eyes, she would look like complete shit to anyone except me.

I’d sat next to her then, turned her face toward me, repeated myself.

“Gabe. He left with William. Again.” She took in a deep breath and looked up at the ceiling. All I mustered out was an “oh”.

She looked at me then. “You think, if I had a dick, then he’d love me?”

I had no clue what to say to her then. I didn’t say anything. I didn’t have to since she started talking again. “He just walked over to him and kissed him. Then- Then Bill started kissing him, really kissing him. I swear I could see fucking tongue. I mean if it wasn’t for the fact that I love Gabe, it’d be hot. You know?”

I’d forced myself to swallow, to nod, to ignore the painful thumping in my chest.

“I wish.. Just that he’d realize I actually really like him.. Shit, Ryland. I need him to realize it. I really- I do.” Streams started falling down her cheeks again.

I reached for her, pulling her in a hug as she cried into my chest. I knew what she meant.. I knew it so well…

I was still in the back room. Still. I shook my head, and ran a hand over my face before looking around the room. I was alone. I felt sticking to the back of my right arm. I reached for it with my left and pulled it off. A scarf?

An image of what Victoria been wearing last night passed through my mind. Tight black dress that hugged her in all the right ways, purple leggings that ended just below her knees, black high top chucks, and a purple zebra print scarf that hung loose around her neck..

I stared at the scarf in my hand, fondling it carefully. He’d hurt her so bad.. I ran my fingers over the edges, frayed.

Then I spotted something on the floor, but when I leaned forward to grab it, pain instantly throbbed across my forehead. I groaned out loud and sat back grabbing my forehead with my head, but that didn’t help. It just kept hurting, so fucking much. Then I felt my stomach lurch and I dropped the scarf to the floor and stood up, running out of the back room to the bathroom across the hall. After flinging open the first door then the cubicle door, I heaved my insides into the toilet.

I sat there, waiting for the dry heaves to stop. Finally, I flushed the puke down and stood up, leaning against the side of the stall for support. I stumbled toward a sink and turned the water on, cupping my hands under the faucet and washing my face off.

I looked at myself in the mirror. My eyes were seriously red and my hair was sticking up in the back. My eyes lowered and there was a dark mark on my neck, I reached to touch it. Familiar, bruise like.. ? Who could have given me a hickey?

That’s when I realized I had no friggen shirt on. I looked down at myself and saw the button to my jeans undone. “What the hell?”

Who could have walked into the room after Vicky left that got me… Was I really that wasted that I blacked out completely?

I heard a small whine from the hall. I buttoned my jeans and walked out of the bathroom. A groan followed from what sounded like the storage closet. I grabbed the silver doorknob and turned it, opening the door.

I pushed my eyebrows together and stared. Another groan, followed by, "Don't just fucking stand there checking me out, Ryland. Help me get the fuck up."