Scream

When my body tensed, I glanced up to see Brian resting his head on mine. I could tell in his face that he was hurt by the fact that I tensed up at his touch, but I couldn’t help that. It was something my body just did. His eyes were locked on the twilight setting like mine was. Without looking he whipped a tear from my cheek. His thumb was a bit callous from the line of work he did, but I ignored it when a memory came to my head. I wanted to throw Brian to the ground and run, but I had to remind myself who Brian was.

“That’s not right.” Brian whispered, but loud enough for everyone to hear him. I didn’t nod; I just kept my face blank. I wasn’t ready to return to that book, but I had too. The way the waves came crashing down on the shore and against the rocks in a rage unknown made me think of how my life was. It was always raging in some way in some form. It was a never a mellow current, that would just seem too simple. It was always fast, rapid; always bring me under and leaving me to drown.

“I didn’t want to tell you. You grew up with a wonderful family and I don’t want you to feel the need to go and see Mother. You wouldn’t if I had anything to say about it, but you are your own person so I can’t decide for you.” I said turning around. He let go of me and searched my face. He seemed to be doing that a lot lately.

He slowly nodded and smirked. “You are rather intellectual for your age.” He said with that smirk that I had read about and seen many of times in a photo or twenty. I didn’t see how my insights would be considered intellectual insights, but I wasn’t going to complain. My face was still set to blank, as much as I wanted to let a smirk hand from my lips, I chose not too.

“How old is she anyways?” My eyes shot to Johnny. I knew his voice from the rest. I could tell all of their voices apart. He was smiling, to hide his confusion no doubt. The sides of my lips tried to pull into a smile, but I quickly stopped them.

“Fifteen years old. So don’t be a pervert Johnny.” Brian said with a smile and a small laugh. Johnny rolled his eyes before taking another swig of his beer.

“I would say that we would normally say that we have to worry about you Brian, but since she is your sister we may have to worry about Zack.” Jimmy retorted with a laugh. He was looking at Zack who was smiling and shaking his head.

I couldn’t hold it back. Zack had been my favorite band member for the longest time that I have ever endured. The corners of my mouth pulled up in a smile and a quiet laugh escaped from between my lips. I hadn’t laughed in so long, I shook my head.

“See? Sam I Am agrees.” Jimmy said in a British voice. I glared at him, my right eye twitching some what. I relaxed a bit when I realized who I was glaring at. I gave him an apologetic smile. He just shrugged it off and smiled back.

“Of course she would. I am one sexy beast.” Zack said resting his hands behind his head. He looked at me and shot a kiss, with a huge grin on his face. I rolled my eyes and crossed my arms.

“Speak for yourself.” I retorted shaking my head, clicking my tongue at the roof of my mouth making a tisk tisk tisk sound. He looked at me and raised an eye brow. As cute as he looked I kept my grossed out face on. I saw Brian looking at me, a smile hidden behind his smug smirk. It’s either he was glad that I was getting along with his friend or he had an idea of who my favorite in the band really was.

“Oh really?” Zack said getting up and walked towards me. He stopped before his chest rammed into mind. He was so close I could smell the alcohol on his hot breath. It didn’t bother me at all. I still glared at him, his eye brow went down and a smirk replaced it.

“If you put your hand any where on me…” My voice trailed as I stood on my tip toes and placed my lips next to his ear. “I’ll kick your ass.” I said in a whisper. I could tell my breath on his ear got to him because I could have swore I saw goose bumps on his neck. I walked around him and sat on the couch. I took off my shoes and sat Indian style on the sofa. It was rather soft and the cushions were so soft that when I sat down I sank.

“Nice.” Matt said giving me a smile while he nodded his head. I smiled back at him then looked at Zack, who was glaring at me. I smiled sweetly at him. He turned and started to talk quietly to Brian.

“So where are you from?” Matt asked moving from his seat across the room. He sat next to me, his beer in his hand. I smiled at him and watched him as he grabbed a coaster from the stack at the center of the table where a small vase of the flower Birds Of Paradise.

“I was born in Florida.” I growled at the horrible memories that the state held of me. Then smiled a bit when I realized that I did have as many good memories as I did bad, if not less.

“That’s nice. Florida is kind of like Huntington Beach, but you can’t find half of the things you do here, in Florida.” He said with a grin. I laughed and nodded, pushing my hair from my eyes.

“I lived in Atlantic Beach. There was always a fight between the Atlantic beach kids and the North Side. It was never ending. Surprisingly I miss it.” I smiled when I remembered my last year in middle school. Mr. Blackwood was lecturing the whole school about the “A.B North Side” mess that was going on. Kids were getting arrested and some killed. I never understood it. All the same I missed it.

“I also miss Fletcher. It was an amazing high school. Yeah, I hated half of the people but there was always something going on and was a very good school. Though when it came to the smokers in the senior parking lot, the officer and Couch Bounds made one hell of a tag team.” I said with a huge smile in my face shaking my head. They were a very good tag team. Hardly anyone got away from the two. After one week, I missed Officer Bartley.

Matt, Jimmy and Johnny laughed. They shared stories of them when it came to getting caught smoking at school. None of them ever went to the detentions; I freely admitted that I didn’t either. I was loosening up. Though I still had my moments where I would watch the guys talk with each other with a blank look on my face. I realized that I was doing this because of my PTSD. Sighing I went into my purse. I pulled out the pill bottle. I hadn’t taken them this morning like I should have. I looked at Brian who was looking at me then the pill bottle with his eye brows arched. All of the guy’s eyes followed Brian’s. Concern flashed over their faces. I rolled my eyes.

“Yes it is prescribed to me. Do you have anything to drink? I was supposed to take them this morning but forgot because of all that was going on.” I asked lightly. I bit my bottom lip slightly.

Brian snapped out of his daze and blinked a few times. “Um yeah sure. The kitchen is right down the hall. I think I have something you would like. What do you drink?” Brian asked as I got up putting my pill bottle back in my purse and taking my purse with me. I wasn’t going to have them looking through it, I couldn’t trust them yet.

“I am going to say that it is safe to assume that you are speaking of non alcoholic drinks? If so then I like all kinds of things, though I don’t drink milk. I drink almond milk. I am working on my way to becoming a vegan. If you are referring to alcoholic beverages then I must say I like a variety of different things.” I said walking down the hall way before I could get lectured about underage drinking.

The hallway had pictures of his family, friends and even some of Brian with different people from band influences I’m sure. The floor was still made of tile. The walls were an off white. There was a black and white table underneath a portrait of his parents. It had golden candles on either side. It was a marvelous looking home I must say.

I found the kitchen with little difficulty. All of the appliances were stainless, shining in the lights of the kitchen. The counter tops were made of marble, a streak free shine. There was a rack dedicated to different types of liquors. I opened the fridge and saw only Gatorade and sodas. Sighing I opened and shut cabinet doors in search for a cup. I found the cabinet that held the glasses, picked one up and filled it with water from the tap. I took one pill with the water, gagging at the taste. It reminded me of a nasty banana flavor that reminded me of a medicine that was in liquid form that I used to have to take. I gagged and shook my head.

After drinking the rest of the water I grabbed a sponge and the dawn dish soap from the corner of the sink and stated to wash the glass. I heard foots steps coming up from behind me. I didn’t look too see who it was. I heard them laugh; I rolled my eyes.

“You know he has a dish washer right?” The soothing tone came from Matt. Exhaling, glad that it wasn’t anyone else. I was intimidated by Matt because he was very well built, making him bigger then me, but he reminds me of a teddy bear in some ways.

“Using a dish washer makes people lazy. If you do them by hand then you are less likely to mess up as many as you would if you used a dish washer. There is nothing wrong with washing things by hand.” I said with a smile. Matt grabbed another beer from the fridge, he leaned on the counter space beside the sink, watching my hands as they ran over the glass leaving a trail of white behind.

“I resent that.” Matt said with a smirk. I shrugged my shoulders. He continued to drink his beer. I didn’t know what they saw in beer. It was a distasteful beverage that I could never get my taste buds around. I preferred hard liquor myself.

“Alright, though it wasn’t pointed to you.” I smiled up at him, rinsing the glass with scolding hot water. I looked at my hands as the water ran over them. They were very red. I could feel my skin begin to split little by little though it wasn’t hot enough to split my skin completely.

I turned off the water. I could clearly see the steam coming off of my hands, making them feel cold, but in a fresh way. I dried the glass, glancing at Matt. He was looking at me, playing with his lip stud. I raised my eye brow. He looked like he was going to say something, but didn’t.

I put the glass in the cabinet and folded the dish towel and laid it on the stove. I made sure all of the water was cleaned up before I turned to Matt. He still looked like he had something on his mind, and the curiosity was getting the better of me. I had to ask. “Something on your mind?”