Behind This Smile

Sydri POV

"He said sorry," was the first thing I told Mikey when we started walking. He glanced at me then raised his eyebrows.

"Who?" he asked, doubt in his eyes.

"Gerard," I stated simply. His eyes widened and he let out a little chuckle.

"No fucking way." He shook his head stubbornly. "I will not believe it."

I rolled my eyes. "Yes fucking way. So you better believe it, Mikey. I don't know whether he ment it," I told him. That was the part that had me going. Did he mean it? I got to the point where I thought he was teaming up with Nicola to beat the shit out of me.

Mikey shrugged his shoulders. "Do you think he meant it?" He looked kind of hopeful. "I'm not going to lie to you, Sydri. I hope he did. I love my brother, but I love you, too." He smiled down at me while I raised my eyes at him in shock. "Like a sister," he assured me. "And I don't want ya'll fighting anymore," he continued. "I hate picking sides." He shrugged, smirking. "But it seems like everyone else is on your side."

I shrugged my shoulders, too. Thank the Lord for tomorrow being Saturday.

"OH!" Mikey yelled in my ear, making me jump and accidentally slap him in the face. "Thanks," he muttered sarcastically.

"You're the one who yelled in my ear, dumbfuck," I reminded him.

He glared at me. "ANYWAYS! My mom wants you to come over for dinner again tomorrow." I opened my mouth to protest, but Mikey held his finger up. "With your dad. This way no one will have to run away." Mikey draped his arm around my shoulders, pulling me into a hug, causing us to stop walking. "Not that I blame you. Gerard got in so much fucking trouble for that."

I squirmed out of Mikey's grip. "I'll ask my dad," I told him. Yeah, sure, I'll ask my dad. Not going to happen.

Mikey smirked at me. "Already did. Well, my mom already did. He said yes. Can't get out it now, Sydri! I know your little games!" I laughed.

"What games?"

Mikey scowled. "... Those little games! Where you try to confuse me about something, but that's not how Mikey roooollllssss!" he screamed.

I laughed again. "Whatever you say, Mikey. Whatever you say."

--

"Hey, Dad," I called, walking into the house.

"Hey, Syd." He gave me a kiss on the cheek. "How's school."

I ignored that question. "Hey, thanks for asking me if I wanted to go to the Ways' for dinner," I said sarcastically.

He laughed, but it didn't make it to his eyes. I slightly furrowed my eyebrows. His laugh seemed genuine. "I didn't think it'd be a problem," he said before grabbing his keys. "Hey, sweetie, I'm going to Wal-Mart, and then I'm going to get my head shaved." Oh, yeah. For some odd reason he wanted to get his head shaved...

"Will you be home for dinner?" I asked him.

His eyes softened. "No, honey. I won't." I bit my lip to keep from frowning. "But tomorrow I will." He smiled. "Nicky won't be coming. She didn't want to."

"She was invited?" I asked. Mikey never mentioned.

"Yes. Donna was kind enough to invite her. She did sound relieved when she declined, though." He smiled again. "Well, I'm leavin'. Love you." He once again placed a kiss on my cheek and headed out the door.

"Love you, too, Dad," I whispered once the front door slammed shut.

--

I always hated it when people came in my room without knocking. Nicola did this all the time. I, being the nice sister, always knocked before coming into her room. I didn't want to know what she was doing. She never answered her damn door anyway.

"Come in," I muttered once her too skinny, good for nothing ass was in my room.

"Already in." She sighed. "Just thought I should let you know that I start school on Monday," she said with an evil little smirk. I fought the urge to kill her.

I shrugged. "Have you noticed something wrong with Dad?" I asked.

She nodded. "He looks sick," she said in a "duh" tone. "Dude, it doesn't take Sherlock freaking Holmes to figure that out." She rolled her eyes. "He'll get better." She walked out, slamming my door behind her.

--

"Ready, Sydri?" Dad asked when he opened the door.

It was Saturday, and Donna just called saying that right now would be a fine time to come on over. I was as excited about it as my dad was. He even made me dress "nice". And nice for me was a Nirvana T-shirt, dark blue jeans that weren't too skinny, and dark purple high tops with lime green laces. My black hair was pulled into a lose ponytail and my bangs still fell over my eye. I didn't put on a lot of eyeliner, and I scarcely had make-up on.

Dad sighed. "Do you ever wear something other then band T-shirts?" my dad asked. I shook my head. He playfully sighed and we walked outside. I looked through the CDs he had in his car, and found my Nirvana CD "Nevermind" and I glared at my dad.

"I've been looking for this," I tried to growl without laughing. I failed and giggled when my dad raised his eyebrows.

"What? I'll admit, you have good taste in music. Here, put it in." I put the CD in the CD player (wow, such a strange place to put CDs... ;D) and changed the song to "Lithium".

While my dad mouthed along to words, I studied him. He looked so much older now that he got his head shaved. He was too pale to be human, and his eyes almost held no color. I didn't fail to miss the fact that he's never home anymore. It's like Wal-Mart became his new home. He's almost there 24/7.

My dad caught me staring at him at a red light. "What? Embarrassed that your poppy knows the words to this song?" I laughed.

"Yeah. Sure, Dad." My dad smiled and it still didn't reach his blue/gray eyes. I felt smiled falter, as did his.

"What's wrong?" he asked. I shrugged.

"I don't know." That was the complete and honest truth. I did not know.

--

Obviously, Donna was waiting for us. The second we got out of the car, she gave me a hug. "He won't be a butt today," she whispered before letting me go and walking to talk to my dad. They stood around and talked for a minute and I stood there. I didn't want to be rude and just walk into their house without being told to.

Donna noticed me standing there. "Oh, Sydri, I'm so sorry! Please! Go on in. If no one seems to be home, scream. That's what I always do." I raised my eyebrows at her. She laughed. "I'm kidding. But if you want to, be my guest." I smiled and gratefully walked into their house.

I didn't have to scream, not that I was going to, because Mikey and Gerard were on the couch. Mikey smiled and Gerard his best to. I grinned back at Mikey, and waved to Gerard. If he won't be an ass, I won't, either.

Mikey tried to scoot over, but Gerard was in the way. "Move, dammit," he laughed and Gerard moved without hesitation. I sat down next to Mikey and he grinned at me. "How's your Saturday been, Syd?" he asked.

I shrugged. "I don't know. Good, I guess." He nodded.

"Me, too." I smiled.

We got to talking, and by "we", I mean Mikey and me, before Donna came into the living room clapping her hands. "Dinner is ready! And I made vegetarian lasanga!" she smiled, proud she remembered. I laughed. "Do you like vegetarian lasanga?" she asked.

"Yeah. I love it," I replied.

She nodded and we all sat down at the dinner table. It was pretty quiet except for the conversation between Donna and my dad. Every once in a while, Mikey would say something, but that's it.

When everyone was done, we stayed quiet. Donna looked at me. "What do you like to do in your free time?" she asked me.

I shrugged, trying to move my bangs away from my eye. "I, um... don't know. I usually listen to music. Or sit around on the couch stuffing myself fat with junk food while I watch TV. Does that count?" She laughed.

"Well, it counts for something."

Mikey looked at me shirt. "Are they good?" he asked.

I smiled and nodded. "Yeah. I love them. They're pretty much all I listen to."

"Do you like Iron Maiden?" Gerard asked, looking down at his plate.

I bit my lip. "They're okay," I replied. He rolled his eyes.

"They are better than okay," he retorted, smirking. Donna cleared her throat. "Just sayin'."

Donna's eyes lit up. "Why don't ya'll give Sydri a tour of the house?"

Gerard made a face. "What's there to show?" he asked.

She narrowed her eyes to where they were tiny little slits. "The house." Gerard and Mikey both immediatly got up, as did I, and Mikey linked arms with me.

"Let's give Sydri a tour of the house!!"