Iero Fiasco
GODZILLA!
“Let’s make Thanksgiving weekend last two weeks long so you can come here now.” Frank laughs into the phone as he rolls around on his couch back home.
“Oh god,” Molly laughs, “It’s only been five days since tour ended.”
“Five days you should’ve spent down here in Jersey with me.” he pouts, “Or we could have just stayed in New York and crashed at Mikey’s place.”
“Because I’m sure he’d appreciate that.” She laughs, “Nah well I’m busy today.”
“Doing what?” he asks pretending what she just said was absurd.
“Going shopping with my mom and my sister.”
“Why do you need to go shopping?”
“I don’t.”
“Then don’t.” he laughs, “Take a trip to Jersey instead.”
“Planes come to Montreal too.”
“But considering you’ll be coming here for thanksgiving it just seems easier this way.”
“I’m sure Gerard will be more than willing to keep you company for another week.”
“See that’s where you’re wrong.” Frank pouts, “Thanks to your little matchmaking game Gerard is all gaga for Alison and they’re like going out like every night it seems.” Molly bursts out laughing.
“I knew it! I knew they had a thing for each other!”
“Meddling know it all.” He teases, “Talking about meddling, Bob’s kid is a girl.”
“Really, awe.” Molly says laughing.
“Yeah, he called me this morning just to tell me, I don’t think he’s ever been this happy.”
“Awkward silence.” Molly teases as she types on her computer.
“Oh, I know!” Frank says happily, “What are you wearing?”
“Granny panties and a baggy sweater.”
“Well you know you look good in anything.”
“Aren’t you a charmer.” She giggles, “Watcha up to?”
“I dunno.” He sighs, “Television, you?”
“Porn.”
“Liar.”
“Oh yeah?” she laughs, then puts the phone against the computer speaker.
“I want you to come in my ass!” a woman’s voice screams.
“Oh yeah baby keep going!” a man’s voice replies. Molly puts her ear back to the phone.
“Told ya.” Molly teases.
“Why do find the need to watch porn?”
“Same reason I found that nudey mag in your suitcase.”
“In all fairness, I packed it before I knew you were on the same tour, besides, I didn’t even use it.” he says defensively, “I didn’t know you knew about that!”
“Well, I didn’t wanna embarrass you in front of your band mates.”
“Its okay, we’re all packing.” He jokes.
“And the fact that I frankly don’t care if you look at porn or not.”
“That’s cause you’re a nympho.”
“No, well sorta.” She giggles, “Oh man, the woman in this video is friggin flexible.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, I mean her feet are fully behind her head, I mean, woah.” Frank can’t help but laugh, “Its not even sexy anymore, it’s just creepy at this point.”
“Well some people have creepy fetishes.”
“New video, gay porn!”
“Awe Molly.” Frank sighs laughing, “Should I get out my porn and we can jerk off together.”
“Hmm but it’ll be conflicting, you see you’re my first choice and then there’s porn. Combining the two will be conflicting.”
“Then I guess you’ll have to drag your ass here won’t you.”
“Or I can hang up and make myself go blind.”
“Blind?”
“Yeah, you never heard the old wives tale; if you touch yourself you’ll go blind. It’s even in a Green Day song, Longview.”
“Oh yeah.” He chortles, “I guess you shouldn’t touch yourself then.”
“I’ll risk it.” She shakes her head laughing, “It doesn’t matter now anyway, I just found a picture some teenies must have photo-shopped.”
“Photo of what?”
“You, the pasted your head to some naked guy, really badly done too. Want me to send it to you?”
“Sure.” He laughs. Molly clicks away on her computer and emails the picture Frank.
“Psht, you’re bigger than this sad sob.” Molly says carelessly. Frank opens up the email and looks it over.
“This is insulting.” He says bursting out laughing.
“They could have at least found a naked guy with tattoos, it would be more believable.” She mumbles.
“They could’ve picked a guy who wasn’t a pant midget!” Frank says still laughing, “Just cause I’m short, doesn’t mean all of me is.” Molly bursts out laughing.
The doorbell rings at Molly’s apartment.
“Gotta go, Cynthia and my mom are here.”
“Awe.” Frank fake whines, “Call me back later then or I’ll go blind because you didn’t interrupt me.”
“Alright.” She laughs.
“Oh! I was supposed to call Frank.” Molly exclaims later that evening.
“Well, make it quick I’m gonna start the movie.” Tray says rolling her eyes. Molly grabs the phone and dials the well known number.
“Hello you.” Frank answers.
“Hey,” Molly laughs.
“You buy anything sexy?”
“Yup.”
“Oooohh do tell!”
“The new Green Day CD.” Molly smirks.
“That’s not sexy!” Frank exclaims.
“Yeah it is, that Tre Cool is one fine piece of man, mmmhmm, how old’s he now? Thirty-six? And he’s still got it going on.” Jess and Tray just snort with laughter at the last comment.
“How dare you.” Frank gasps.
“I gotta go now.”
“Tre.” He mutters under his breath.
“Nah, Jess made a pitcher of margarita’s and Tray’s about to press play on some chick flick that she’ll enjoy while I make cynical remarks the whole way through.”
“Ahh, enjoy yourself then.”
“You might want to expect a drunken phone call at three AM, just warning you.” Molly laughs, “Till then, love ya.”
“Love ya too.” He says as they both hang up.
Two pitchers of margaritas later and the girls of Warped Battery have the giggles.
“Jess, in all seriouslyness,” Molly slurs as Tray just claps her hands laughing, “Are you in Durban going out.”
“Nooooooo.” Jess giggles, “He’s really, really hot though.”
“But you guys disappear a lot together.” Tray says pointing and laughing.
“Noooooooo.”
“Yeesssssss.” Molly and Tray chant.
“Okay fine!” Jess exclaims, “We went on a couple of secret dates.”
“Awe!” Tray shrieks.
“I got an idea.” Molly says as she crawls across the floor to the table where Jess left her cell phone, “We should call him.”
“NO!” Jess yelps but it’s too late, Molly already placed the call.
“Hello?”
“Hi Durban.” Molly giggles as Jess leaps at her, “Its Molly.”
“Molly what the fuck, its three AM!”
“Heehee I know.” Molly laughs as Tray holds Jess back, “I just called to say that Jess thinks you’re really, really hot.”
“Are you drunk?”
“Gimme the phone!” Jess yells.
“Yes.” Molly says proudly, “Jess makes a mean margarita.”
“Ahh okay, I’ll call you in a couple of hours to tease you about your hangover.”
“Okay.” Molly says hanging up the phone and tossing it aside.
“Oh that’s it.” Jess says grabbing Molly’s cell phone, she scans the list then places the call to Frank.
“Hold on, we got to call Drew too.” Molly says as she scrambles to find Tray’s cell phone.
“What? No!” Tray yelps, “He’s sleeping!”
“Wakey, wakey!” Molly giggles as she places the final drunken call of the evening.
“Hey Mol, you drunk?” Frank answers.
“Yeah, but it’s not Molly.” Jess snickers, “Its Jess.”
“Oh hey, what’s up?”
“Ohh, I’m getting back at Molly, she called Durban and said I found him really, really hot.”
“Okay.”
“Molly uhh, I don’t know what to say now.” Jess giggles, “GODZILLA!” she hangs up the phone quickly after her random outburst.
Tray and Molly laugh their heads off then Drew answers the phone
“Hey?”
“Oh no.” Molly giggles then Jess grabs the phone from her, “GODZILLA!” then ends then calls.
“GODZILLA!” the three band mates laugh out .
“Oh god,” Molly laughs, “It’s only been five days since tour ended.”
“Five days you should’ve spent down here in Jersey with me.” he pouts, “Or we could have just stayed in New York and crashed at Mikey’s place.”
“Because I’m sure he’d appreciate that.” She laughs, “Nah well I’m busy today.”
“Doing what?” he asks pretending what she just said was absurd.
“Going shopping with my mom and my sister.”
“Why do you need to go shopping?”
“I don’t.”
“Then don’t.” he laughs, “Take a trip to Jersey instead.”
“Planes come to Montreal too.”
“But considering you’ll be coming here for thanksgiving it just seems easier this way.”
“I’m sure Gerard will be more than willing to keep you company for another week.”
“See that’s where you’re wrong.” Frank pouts, “Thanks to your little matchmaking game Gerard is all gaga for Alison and they’re like going out like every night it seems.” Molly bursts out laughing.
“I knew it! I knew they had a thing for each other!”
“Meddling know it all.” He teases, “Talking about meddling, Bob’s kid is a girl.”
“Really, awe.” Molly says laughing.
“Yeah, he called me this morning just to tell me, I don’t think he’s ever been this happy.”
“Awkward silence.” Molly teases as she types on her computer.
“Oh, I know!” Frank says happily, “What are you wearing?”
“Granny panties and a baggy sweater.”
“Well you know you look good in anything.”
“Aren’t you a charmer.” She giggles, “Watcha up to?”
“I dunno.” He sighs, “Television, you?”
“Porn.”
“Liar.”
“Oh yeah?” she laughs, then puts the phone against the computer speaker.
“I want you to come in my ass!” a woman’s voice screams.
“Oh yeah baby keep going!” a man’s voice replies. Molly puts her ear back to the phone.
“Told ya.” Molly teases.
“Why do find the need to watch porn?”
“Same reason I found that nudey mag in your suitcase.”
“In all fairness, I packed it before I knew you were on the same tour, besides, I didn’t even use it.” he says defensively, “I didn’t know you knew about that!”
“Well, I didn’t wanna embarrass you in front of your band mates.”
“Its okay, we’re all packing.” He jokes.
“And the fact that I frankly don’t care if you look at porn or not.”
“That’s cause you’re a nympho.”
“No, well sorta.” She giggles, “Oh man, the woman in this video is friggin flexible.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, I mean her feet are fully behind her head, I mean, woah.” Frank can’t help but laugh, “Its not even sexy anymore, it’s just creepy at this point.”
“Well some people have creepy fetishes.”
“New video, gay porn!”
“Awe Molly.” Frank sighs laughing, “Should I get out my porn and we can jerk off together.”
“Hmm but it’ll be conflicting, you see you’re my first choice and then there’s porn. Combining the two will be conflicting.”
“Then I guess you’ll have to drag your ass here won’t you.”
“Or I can hang up and make myself go blind.”
“Blind?”
“Yeah, you never heard the old wives tale; if you touch yourself you’ll go blind. It’s even in a Green Day song, Longview.”
“Oh yeah.” He chortles, “I guess you shouldn’t touch yourself then.”
“I’ll risk it.” She shakes her head laughing, “It doesn’t matter now anyway, I just found a picture some teenies must have photo-shopped.”
“Photo of what?”
“You, the pasted your head to some naked guy, really badly done too. Want me to send it to you?”
“Sure.” He laughs. Molly clicks away on her computer and emails the picture Frank.
“Psht, you’re bigger than this sad sob.” Molly says carelessly. Frank opens up the email and looks it over.
“This is insulting.” He says bursting out laughing.
“They could have at least found a naked guy with tattoos, it would be more believable.” She mumbles.
“They could’ve picked a guy who wasn’t a pant midget!” Frank says still laughing, “Just cause I’m short, doesn’t mean all of me is.” Molly bursts out laughing.
The doorbell rings at Molly’s apartment.
“Gotta go, Cynthia and my mom are here.”
“Awe.” Frank fake whines, “Call me back later then or I’ll go blind because you didn’t interrupt me.”
“Alright.” She laughs.
“Oh! I was supposed to call Frank.” Molly exclaims later that evening.
“Well, make it quick I’m gonna start the movie.” Tray says rolling her eyes. Molly grabs the phone and dials the well known number.
“Hello you.” Frank answers.
“Hey,” Molly laughs.
“You buy anything sexy?”
“Yup.”
“Oooohh do tell!”
“The new Green Day CD.” Molly smirks.
“That’s not sexy!” Frank exclaims.
“Yeah it is, that Tre Cool is one fine piece of man, mmmhmm, how old’s he now? Thirty-six? And he’s still got it going on.” Jess and Tray just snort with laughter at the last comment.
“How dare you.” Frank gasps.
“I gotta go now.”
“Tre.” He mutters under his breath.
“Nah, Jess made a pitcher of margarita’s and Tray’s about to press play on some chick flick that she’ll enjoy while I make cynical remarks the whole way through.”
“Ahh, enjoy yourself then.”
“You might want to expect a drunken phone call at three AM, just warning you.” Molly laughs, “Till then, love ya.”
“Love ya too.” He says as they both hang up.
Two pitchers of margaritas later and the girls of Warped Battery have the giggles.
“Jess, in all seriouslyness,” Molly slurs as Tray just claps her hands laughing, “Are you in Durban going out.”
“Nooooooo.” Jess giggles, “He’s really, really hot though.”
“But you guys disappear a lot together.” Tray says pointing and laughing.
“Noooooooo.”
“Yeesssssss.” Molly and Tray chant.
“Okay fine!” Jess exclaims, “We went on a couple of secret dates.”
“Awe!” Tray shrieks.
“I got an idea.” Molly says as she crawls across the floor to the table where Jess left her cell phone, “We should call him.”
“NO!” Jess yelps but it’s too late, Molly already placed the call.
“Hello?”
“Hi Durban.” Molly giggles as Jess leaps at her, “Its Molly.”
“Molly what the fuck, its three AM!”
“Heehee I know.” Molly laughs as Tray holds Jess back, “I just called to say that Jess thinks you’re really, really hot.”
“Are you drunk?”
“Gimme the phone!” Jess yells.
“Yes.” Molly says proudly, “Jess makes a mean margarita.”
“Ahh okay, I’ll call you in a couple of hours to tease you about your hangover.”
“Okay.” Molly says hanging up the phone and tossing it aside.
“Oh that’s it.” Jess says grabbing Molly’s cell phone, she scans the list then places the call to Frank.
“Hold on, we got to call Drew too.” Molly says as she scrambles to find Tray’s cell phone.
“What? No!” Tray yelps, “He’s sleeping!”
“Wakey, wakey!” Molly giggles as she places the final drunken call of the evening.
“Hey Mol, you drunk?” Frank answers.
“Yeah, but it’s not Molly.” Jess snickers, “Its Jess.”
“Oh hey, what’s up?”
“Ohh, I’m getting back at Molly, she called Durban and said I found him really, really hot.”
“Okay.”
“Molly uhh, I don’t know what to say now.” Jess giggles, “GODZILLA!” she hangs up the phone quickly after her random outburst.
Tray and Molly laugh their heads off then Drew answers the phone
“Hey?”
“Oh no.” Molly giggles then Jess grabs the phone from her, “GODZILLA!” then ends then calls.
“GODZILLA!” the three band mates laugh out .