I've Completely Lost Myself, and I Don't Mind

I had just left Cassie, laughing silently as I seen Max walk up to the booth trying to buy something. I felt giddy as the buzz of excitement grew for the show tonight. There was about another half and hour before the doors opened, and I couldn’t wait. I was going to watch the shows tonight, and to be totally honest I was excited to watch Oli and the rest of the guys of Bring Me The Horizon. They’re the only band on the tour that I haven’t seen live yet. I shook my head when I heard someone call my name,

“ANNA! Earth to Anna?” I lifted my clear green eyes to see Shads stomping towards me in a tizzy.

“What?” I asked, trying not to laugh as he reminded me of a school girl, by the way he stomped his feet and then crossed his arms over his chest.

“You’re brother’s being an asshole.”

“And? What’s new?” I replied sarcastically before rolling my eyes.

“Dude, no. Normally I can handle the dickweed, but I can’t right now. Go and see what the fuck he’s fuming about.” I looked at Shads with my famous, ‘why should I’ look and he pouted, “because you love me.”

“Ugh. Fine.” I sighed, “But you fucking owe me if he’s in a really bad mood, Sanders.”

“Oh, Anna. I love you.” He said dramatically, kissed my cheek with a loud smack

“Dude, No! Get off !! Gross.” I yelped pushing him away from me before I turned to go down the hallway which led to their dressing room. I opened the door, and seen Zacky sitting there, hood pulled up as he sulked. The others looked at me, and I nodded before they nodded back and left. “Zacky, bro. What’s the matter?” I asked softly, going over to sit by him.

“Nothing.” He snapped, not meeting my gaze.

“Zachary. Don’t fuck around with me, I know you better then that.” I said as I reached up and yanked his hood down. Earning a low growl from him as he chewed on his snakebites. “Please talk to me, I’m your sister for God’s sake, what good am I if you can’t even talk to me??” I said, and seen his shoulders relax some before he sighed mumbling,

“Hannah called me.”

“What?” I asked, and he groaned, throwing his head back against the couch,

“Hannah called me.” He repeated before running a hand over his face.

“Oh hell, no.” I growled, “What did the psychotic bitch have to say this time?”

“She said that I was a embarrassment to her, and she doesn’t know why she even wanted to be with me in the first place. That I was nothing more then a source of money to her.”

“WHAT THE FUCKING HELL!?” I yelled, jumping up. Which startled Zack, “I’m sorry, but Zacky you can’t listen to anything she says. She’s a stupid bitch, and you’re going to find someone that’s so much better then her. Someone that will love you for you, Zack. You can’t let her get to you, she’s a whore, always will be. You can’t let the words she says get to you, because none of them are true.” I said, sitting back down and wrapping my arms around Zacky so I could hug him. I hated when people messed with Zack, he was my older brother, my security blanket other then Cassie. “Do you hear me? Don’t let a stupid cunt like her get too you. Because nothing she says is true. I mean look at the things you’ve done in your life Zack. You have VU and the band.” Zacky was quiet for a minute before I felt his arm slip around my shoulders,

“You’re right Sis.” He sighed, “I just, it’s so hard not to let it get to me.”

“I know it is, but you’re surrounded by people who love you. We’re all here for you…and you know that.” I paused and let a growl slip past my lips, “One day Zack, one day I am going to fucking beat that hoe for all the shit she’s said and done to you.”

…that made Zacky laugh, but I was completely serious.

“I bet you will, little one.” He said, before kissing the top of my head, “Thanks Anna, for talking me out of my mood.” I laughed and kissed his cheek in return,

“No problem, that’s what I’m here for. Now, don’t be all glum for the fans!!”

“I won’t I promise.” Zack said and I stood then,

“Good, now I can go and open the door and let the other assholes who are listening to every word we’re saying on the other side of the door back in.” I mumbled, making Zack laugh before I opened the door, and sure enough in tumbled Brian, Jimmy, and Matt. …Johnny stumbling after them. Shaking my head, I said goodbye to my brother before stepping over the groaning mess of man on the floor. Lyndsey and Caitlin standing a few feet down the hallway, laughing their asses off. Laughing with them, I waved before heading back towards the way I came, stopping when I heard the British accent of possibly someone from Bring Me The Horizon telling someone else too ‘sod off’

…that was a new one.

The door reading, BMTH flew open before someone slipped out and it slammed again. I shrunk back from the loud bang that the door had caused, listening as someone mumbled to themselves. Not realizing how close they were to me, and realizing too late at that. We slammed into each other my face planting straight into their chest, which after my eyes focused turned out to be Oli’s.

“Oh, shit.” He mumbled, “I’m sorry, love. I wasn’t watchin’ where I was goin’.” He said, and I laughed taking a step back.

“S’ok. I wasn’t exactly watching where I was going either.” I stopped, looking at the way his shoulders hunched and he had his hands stuffed into his pockets, “You don’t look to happy…”

“Aye, my mate’s are being fools. I needed a minute to calm my nerves.”

“Ahh, I see.” I nodded, “I know how that goes. Let me let you in on a little secret, the guys of A7X aren’t exactly acting like grown up’s all the time.”

“Really?” Oli said, obviously amused at my lame attempt to cheer him up.

“Yea…that was my lame attempt to make you laugh…ignore it.” I said, my cheeks instantly flushing at how epically I had failed,

“Yeh know, yer kinda cute when yer actin’ lame.” He said, and I giggled at how much his accent had come out in that sentence. “Oi, sorry ‘bout that. My accent gets pretty thick sometimes.”

“It’s alright, I mean it’s not all that bad. I’m use to listening to the guys of Bullet.” I rambled, trying to act like I hadn’t heard his comment about me being cute. He opened his mouth to say something else but one of the managers of the venue cleared their throat, Oli and I both looked at her before she spoke,

“We just wanted to let you know, we’re going to open the doors. So, Mr. Sykes, I think it’d be a good idea for you to get with your band members and get the last minute plans for your set worked out.”

“Aye, thank you Ma’am.” Oli said politely, which was almost a shock. I had never seen him be so polite with anyone before. The lady nodded before walking away, once she was out of view Oli let out a breath and a string of curse words, to which I cocked an eyebrow. “She almost kicked me, and my mates out of this venue the first time we played in the states.”

“Oohhh.” I said, laughing… “I actually heard about that.”

“Yah, so I have to watch my back when I speak with any of the workers so we don’t get our fucken’ asses kicked outta the venue.” Oli laughed, and took his hands out of his pockets. “You’re welcome to come into the dressin’ room if ya’d like.”

“I would, but I need to go and talk to my sister before things get to busy.”

“Ah, alright. Yer comin’ to watch the show though, yea?”

“Yes sir, I’ll be there.”

“Alright then, love. I won’t hold ya up anymore. See ya at the show.” I smiled with a nod,

“See ya.” I said, before turning on my heel to go and find Cassie. Knowing she’d still be at the merch booth. I went and found her, telling her what happened with Zack and Hannah, she was upset like I was. But Cassie has always had a better temperament then I have, she didn’t exactly like me idea of knocking a hoe on her ass like I was.

* * *
The first three shows went off without a hitch, which was pretty awesome for our first show of the tour. I was very impressed with the reaction that Oli and the guys had gotten from the kids in the crowd when they played their set, they were the heaviest band …musically on the tour, and they hadn’t played very many shows in the U.S. So I could only imagine how proud they were when they seen the kids singing along with their songs in the crowds, and starting the moshpits for them. After they had come off stage, they hung around to watch some of Bullet For My Valentine’s set before they went back to their dressing room to grab a shower and eat something before they didn’t have time too. They wanted me to come back and party with them, but I was content with staying and watching the sets, promising I would come back with them next show. Wondering how Cassie was handling the merch booth with Mattie Berry, I was fairly creeped out when my phone went off, telling me I had a text from Cassie,

HELP! THERE’S SO MANY KIDS! S.O.S!!! S.O.S!! it read, laughing I shook my head and waved too Tuck before I headed towards the booth. Smiling when he threw a playful wink my way.

“EXCUSE ME!” I yelled, shoving through kids, “IF YOU’D LET ME THROUGH YOU ALL WOULD GET WHAT YOU WANT FASTER!!” with that, the kids started stepping to the side, some of the murmuring things like,

‘holy shit, that’s Anna Baker’ or ‘hey! That’s Zacky’s younger sister!’ I rolled my eyes and literally clambered over the Merch table, relief washing over both Mattie’s and Cassie’s faces when they seen me.

“Anna is here to save the day!” I paused with a laugh, “…again.”

After things had calmed down, and there were just the normal amount of kids buying stuff, Mattie, Cassie and I could actually talk.

“Did you guys know that Jimmy had a girl?” he asked, before smiling at a kid that had just bought a tee-shirt.

“WHAT?!” Cassie and I yelled,

“No!”

“No way!” Cassie said, taking money from a girl that looked like she was eleven and shouldn’t have been here.

“Yea, I don’t know her name yet. But I caught him talking to her on the phone, today.”

“I’m gonna kick his ass for not telling me!” Cassie and I said at the same time, pausing to look at each other before we both laughed, we often said the same things at the same time.

“You guys need to stop that shit!” Mattie laughed with a shudder, “that stupid sisterly telepathy shit freaks me the fuck out.”

“Shut the fuck up.” we both snapped, laughing again when we said the same thing.

“Ok, ok.” Cassie laughed putting her hands up in defeat. “I’ll agree it can get a little fucking creepy.”

To that, I laughed and punched her in the arm, she yelped and punched me back. Starting a full on war.

Ahh, the refreshing joys of having a sister.