I've Completely Lost Myself, and I Don't Mind
Eight
The lobby starts filling with excited fans moments after the demanded encore ends. Chatter echoes off the walls as they walk through, sweating, smiling and some sobbing. I grin to myself as Matt and I pack up the merch into boxes and bins, I love what the guys do and that I can be apart of it. It’s very satisfying.
“I’m starving,” I declare as I fold another shirt and drop it into the box in front of me. “Selling merch takes a lot out of a girl.”
“Yes, it’s hard work taking money and handing over a shirt to a kid.”
“Yes, terribly hard! I don’t see how I can make it through one whole show without a bite to eat!” He laughs as he stacks a box on top of a bin then pokes my stomach, causing me to yelp. “Hey, paws off!”
“Must be a Baker trait,” He retorts as I close a bin full of beanies and wrist bands.
“I know you’re not talking about Zack?” I twist to look at him with a small glower. “…I hate hearing all the shit he gets for eating and gaining a couple of pounds, there’s more to world then fucking weight.”
“Hey, hey I was only kidding,” Matt rests a hand on my shoulder as an apologetic look floods across his features. “…Lil’ sister defensive instinct kicks in like a bomb.” I crack a smirk at his musing before folding the last two hung shirts and putting them in the right box.
An intense coolness whips at my face as soon as my face is out the exit door, the two stacked boxes not doing a very well job of keeping me outta’ colds clasp. In three trips, with minimal joking around, we get everything in the bus with time to spare. “I think I’ll go find Anna to discuss some late night food diners.” I say, walking off with Matt still on the bus.
“Aiiihhhh!” I screech nanoseconds after a pinch attacks my neck and arms swerve around my arms, locking me in place and hoisting me off of the graveled ground. “Matt put me the fuck down! What the hell was that for?” I scream, wiggling in EVERY direction to get loose.
“That was for…I’m not sure...” I yelp as he repeats the attack on my throat! “Still not sure…”
“Bite me again, and when I get loose I’ll freakin’ neuter you’re roadie ass.” I smile as my shoes touch the ground; my hand reaches up and wipes away his left over saliva. “I hate when you do that.”
“No you don’t,” He boasts with a flick to my nose before running off towards the arena, oh I how I’m going to get him.
“Hey,” I scream at Anna, Sierra and Lyndsey as I catch up to their little group. “We should-“
“Go to food place? Already ahead of ya’ sister, we’re going to Denny’s.” Anna says all matter of factly. I poke at her side and she pokes me back…so I poke at Sierra, who pokes at me back…so I prod at Lynds who pinches my side and makes me squeal an unnecessary high pitch squeal. “Dammit…” I mumble as I am defeated in the finger war.
“You know you missed a great show?”
“I heard it all from where I was…over the chaotic hordes of fans…”
“Tomorrow night you should come sit backstage with us!” Sierra implores with near quarter sized eyes in buzz.
“Nothin’ like seeing your man on stage,” Lynds gushes and Anna an’ I roll our eyes, “Time for me to dash when sexual content about thy brothers is being gushed, cya at the bus…or at the diner…which ever place you happen to be at while I’m there too.”
I pop a piece of Winter Fresh into my mouth and chomp lightly, an attempt to trick my tummy into shutting the hell up with all the grumbling threats. “Hey Cassie,” A smile broadens across my face as I recognize the voice and jolt my eyes up to Max’s. “Hey dude,”
“Have fun selling merch?”
“Yeah I did, I say it’s like half as brutal as the mosh pit. Some people can be so damn vulgar! Mainly the girls who don’t belong here and only come to say they went, you know the ones I’m talking about.”
His face does this little light up thing when he chuckles, his hand wiping across the arch
above his lip before taking out a package of cancer sticks. I shake my head as he tilts the
carton towards me before taking out one for himself.
“Not a smoker eh?”
“Not at the moment…I have gum in my mouth.” I say blowing a little bubble, stupid bubble blowing skills that seem to have evaporated.
“I see that now, take my advice on the sellin?”
“I didn’t need it, earlier you just happened to distract me.”
“And how did I do that?” A puff of smoke escapes his snake bitten, ruby red lips and I have to blink a few to catch my thought again. He’s good looking, have I noticed this before? Good looking is an understatement.Yes, I’ve noticed before.
“With your face, it’s totally distracting! I mean do you look in the mirror? You have to distract yourself and by the way you guys sounded pretty good from the merch booth.”
“Um…well you’ve completely thrown me off, wanna’ take a walk around the venue?” He asks with a shake of his shoulders that makes me crack a smile and shine a laugh.
“That’d be awesome.”
“So what do you think of rollercoaster’s?
“Rollercoaster’s?”
“See you threw me off so I’m throwing you off and the first thing to pop in my head were rollercoaster’s.”
“Rollercoaster’s. I hate them; they fucking scare the hell out of me even if I ain’t even on one.”
“Oh whatever they’re a fuckin’ blast!”
“No they’re not! Well except the small ones, I’ll ride those. But the big ones, pffft I’d die if I got on one of those. This one time I was in line for this one that went across a street and I just had to chicken out…” I say laughing.
“But you could have had fun and how small? The kiddie ones?” He says with a face after saying ‘kiddie ones’.
“Um…maybe…And you can fucking screw any of the ones that go upside down or anything like that.”
“Seriously?”
“Yeah, I’m not the friend you take to Cedar Point.”
“Well what rides do you like?”
“The tilt a’ whirl and swingy rides…haunted houses…”
“Haunted houses aren’t really rides.”
“Says you,” I say with a faux scoff.
“You cold?” He asks with his hands deep in his jean pockets, by now we’ve gotten at least half away around the back of the arena.
“Nope. Well my nose is but other that I’m not, are you?”
“Eh,” He’s hiding it and it’s cute! I stop walking and throw my arms around some part of him and he makes this off squeal noise that causes me to laugh. I clear my throat to push away the laugh as I pull myself off of him. “And what was that for?”
“So you’ll be warm.”
“I’m starving,” I declare as I fold another shirt and drop it into the box in front of me. “Selling merch takes a lot out of a girl.”
“Yes, it’s hard work taking money and handing over a shirt to a kid.”
“Yes, terribly hard! I don’t see how I can make it through one whole show without a bite to eat!” He laughs as he stacks a box on top of a bin then pokes my stomach, causing me to yelp. “Hey, paws off!”
“Must be a Baker trait,” He retorts as I close a bin full of beanies and wrist bands.
“I know you’re not talking about Zack?” I twist to look at him with a small glower. “…I hate hearing all the shit he gets for eating and gaining a couple of pounds, there’s more to world then fucking weight.”
“Hey, hey I was only kidding,” Matt rests a hand on my shoulder as an apologetic look floods across his features. “…Lil’ sister defensive instinct kicks in like a bomb.” I crack a smirk at his musing before folding the last two hung shirts and putting them in the right box.
An intense coolness whips at my face as soon as my face is out the exit door, the two stacked boxes not doing a very well job of keeping me outta’ colds clasp. In three trips, with minimal joking around, we get everything in the bus with time to spare. “I think I’ll go find Anna to discuss some late night food diners.” I say, walking off with Matt still on the bus.
“Aiiihhhh!” I screech nanoseconds after a pinch attacks my neck and arms swerve around my arms, locking me in place and hoisting me off of the graveled ground. “Matt put me the fuck down! What the hell was that for?” I scream, wiggling in EVERY direction to get loose.
“That was for…I’m not sure...” I yelp as he repeats the attack on my throat! “Still not sure…”
“Bite me again, and when I get loose I’ll freakin’ neuter you’re roadie ass.” I smile as my shoes touch the ground; my hand reaches up and wipes away his left over saliva. “I hate when you do that.”
“No you don’t,” He boasts with a flick to my nose before running off towards the arena, oh I how I’m going to get him.
“Hey,” I scream at Anna, Sierra and Lyndsey as I catch up to their little group. “We should-“
“Go to food place? Already ahead of ya’ sister, we’re going to Denny’s.” Anna says all matter of factly. I poke at her side and she pokes me back…so I poke at Sierra, who pokes at me back…so I prod at Lynds who pinches my side and makes me squeal an unnecessary high pitch squeal. “Dammit…” I mumble as I am defeated in the finger war.
“You know you missed a great show?”
“I heard it all from where I was…over the chaotic hordes of fans…”
“Tomorrow night you should come sit backstage with us!” Sierra implores with near quarter sized eyes in buzz.
“Nothin’ like seeing your man on stage,” Lynds gushes and Anna an’ I roll our eyes, “Time for me to dash when sexual content about thy brothers is being gushed, cya at the bus…or at the diner…which ever place you happen to be at while I’m there too.”
I pop a piece of Winter Fresh into my mouth and chomp lightly, an attempt to trick my tummy into shutting the hell up with all the grumbling threats. “Hey Cassie,” A smile broadens across my face as I recognize the voice and jolt my eyes up to Max’s. “Hey dude,”
“Have fun selling merch?”
“Yeah I did, I say it’s like half as brutal as the mosh pit. Some people can be so damn vulgar! Mainly the girls who don’t belong here and only come to say they went, you know the ones I’m talking about.”
His face does this little light up thing when he chuckles, his hand wiping across the arch
above his lip before taking out a package of cancer sticks. I shake my head as he tilts the
carton towards me before taking out one for himself.
“Not a smoker eh?”
“Not at the moment…I have gum in my mouth.” I say blowing a little bubble, stupid bubble blowing skills that seem to have evaporated.
“I see that now, take my advice on the sellin?”
“I didn’t need it, earlier you just happened to distract me.”
“And how did I do that?” A puff of smoke escapes his snake bitten, ruby red lips and I have to blink a few to catch my thought again. He’s good looking, have I noticed this before? Good looking is an understatement.Yes, I’ve noticed before.
“With your face, it’s totally distracting! I mean do you look in the mirror? You have to distract yourself and by the way you guys sounded pretty good from the merch booth.”
“Um…well you’ve completely thrown me off, wanna’ take a walk around the venue?” He asks with a shake of his shoulders that makes me crack a smile and shine a laugh.
“That’d be awesome.”
“So what do you think of rollercoaster’s?
“Rollercoaster’s?”
“See you threw me off so I’m throwing you off and the first thing to pop in my head were rollercoaster’s.”
“Rollercoaster’s. I hate them; they fucking scare the hell out of me even if I ain’t even on one.”
“Oh whatever they’re a fuckin’ blast!”
“No they’re not! Well except the small ones, I’ll ride those. But the big ones, pffft I’d die if I got on one of those. This one time I was in line for this one that went across a street and I just had to chicken out…” I say laughing.
“But you could have had fun and how small? The kiddie ones?” He says with a face after saying ‘kiddie ones’.
“Um…maybe…And you can fucking screw any of the ones that go upside down or anything like that.”
“Seriously?”
“Yeah, I’m not the friend you take to Cedar Point.”
“Well what rides do you like?”
“The tilt a’ whirl and swingy rides…haunted houses…”
“Haunted houses aren’t really rides.”
“Says you,” I say with a faux scoff.
“You cold?” He asks with his hands deep in his jean pockets, by now we’ve gotten at least half away around the back of the arena.
“Nope. Well my nose is but other that I’m not, are you?”
“Eh,” He’s hiding it and it’s cute! I stop walking and throw my arms around some part of him and he makes this off squeal noise that causes me to laugh. I clear my throat to push away the laugh as I pull myself off of him. “And what was that for?”
“So you’ll be warm.”
♠ ♠ ♠
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