I Don't Want It, I Just Need It.

“Ol”

I awoke with a start.

Tom’s voice just a breath from my ear, his beaming face a little over an inch from my own.

“whatthefuckareyoudoing” I groaned incoherently, shoving him from where he’d perched on my bed. And tugging my sheets high up over my head. “Getthefuckoutofmy…”

“ ‘s a lass on the phone f’ye”

I peeked over the blankets, squinting in the bright morning sunshine at my smirking brother.
The cordless phone thrust toward me in his outstretched palm. “D’ye know who it is?” I hissed, snatching it from him and cradling it to my chest.

He shrugged his shoulders and grabbed a bright pink thong I hadnt noticed hanging from my bedpost. “ ‘oever this belongs t’?” He sighed, flicking it like a slingshot between his fingers. “ ‘oever that blonde was creepin’ out this…”

He winced as I kicked him hard in the side and glared menacingly at him. “ Y’know I don’ do that no more, ‘s only one girl I…” I groaned, kicking him again as he recovered his smirk. And made a V with his fingers before making lewd thrusting movements with his crotch.

“ ‘s Verity I’nt it? Ye fuckin’ prick. Get out of my…”

“Oliver!” My mother scolded from down the hall. “Thomas! Leave ye brother alone would ye, an’ get off t’school. Ye shoulda left by now”

It was my turn to smirk as he groaned loudly and threw his hands skyward in protest.
He backed from the room slowly, keeping his hands raised, in mock surrender. As I drug my finger across my throat. The kid was a pain in the arse. The kid was definitely my brother.

“Ello” I sighed hesitantly. Relaxing back into my pillows the moment my door was closed. My hand automatically travelling to the rim of my boxers.

“I’ll jus’ pretend I didn’ hear that shall I?”

My body tensed at the mere sound of her voice and I moved my hand back atop the covers.
From the tone of her voice, this wasn’t one of those calls. I’d been trying to talk to her for a week, she’d been avoiding me, successfully, for seven whole days.

“Oliver?”

“Oh, uh…Hey” I stammered, shaken from my daydream. “Ye’ve returned m’call, final…”

“ ‘av ye seen Jake?”

I sighed loudly and glanced at the clock on my bedside table.“ ‘s eight fifteen Vee” I groaned, “ ‘m in bed, an ‘e sure as hell aint…”

“I’m serious Oliver”

“So am I, ‘m not ‘is boyfriend Verity. ‘s far as I know, ‘m your….” My words trailed as I heard a loud banging on the other end of the line. Quickly followed by muffled shouting and the distant sound of glass shattering. “Where are ye…"

“If ye speak t’ ‘im. If ye see ‘im. Tell ‘im to come home, plea…”

“Verity, what the fucks going…”

I was met by the dial tone.

&&

My mobile phone was balanced precariously between my shoulder and my ear, as I pulled onto Elery Road.

Jakes voicemail playing for me once again, playing for what seemed like the hundredth time.
I found myself mumbling the words alongside the robotic sounding woman as I came to a halt outside number 67. I’d been alternating my calls all the way over.

Verity, Jake, number 67. Verity, Jake, number 67.
There’d been no answer at any of them.

I grabbed my keys from the ignition and jumped out, wincing as I caught my leg on the doorframe, but tearing up the driveway nonetheless. A million things were running through my mind. None of which I wanted to see when I got inside.

I jabbed my finger against the doorbell and slammed my other hand, repeatedly, against the door. The only sound louder than that of my pounding fist was that of my heartbeat pounding in my ears.

With every second that passed my breathing grew shallower, my body shook more.
I rested my forehead against the door for a second, squeezing my eyes shut in silent prayer.
Where the hell were…

“Y’aright Ol?”

I felt as though my heart might leap from my mouth or my legs collapse to the floor. I was entirely sure which would come first, but both, right now, were inevitable. “She finally give in t’ye pestering eh, I told ‘e ye…”

“Where the fuck ‘av ye been man?!” I interrupted, unable to gather all of my thoughts at once. “Verity’s been…she called me, and said she….said she needed ye home an’…”

I stopped as his eyes grew wide, and tried to catch my breath for a second. The shopping bags he’d been carrying crashed to the ground as he raced forward to the door. His keys out from his pocket and into the lock before I could even blink.

“I shouldn’ ‘av stayed at ‘Chelles, I shoulda….I know wha’ they’re like after a Friday nigh…”

“Jake. Wha’s wrong? Ye fuckin’ ramblin’ man, I dunno what ye…”

I followed him into the hall.My words catching in my throat, my entire body freezing to the spot, as my eyes focused on the carnage around me. The house was almost unrecognisable. All of the family pictures were torn from the walls; their glass smashed all over the carpet. The lampshades overhead were still swinging, pulled from their fixtures. And the kitchen door, at the far end of the hall, was half ripped from its hinges.

“Ye’ve been fuckin’ burgled man, ye…”

“Verity!” Jake screamed, rushing from room to room on the ground floor. His calling of her name ever more desperate, his voice ever more raw as he searched frantically.“Verity! Verity! Vee….fuck! Verity, where the…”

“Jake” I mumbled, grabbing his arm tightly and nodding towards the stairs. He shrugged his arm from my grasp and glared at me. My voice was barely above a whisper, he hadnt heard me.

“Jake!” I repeated, this time more assertively. “She’s…”

I watched as she slowly descended the stairs.

Her cheeks were etched with thick, black mascara tear tracks. And her entire body was shaking uncontrollably as she heaved a huge black bin liner behind her.

“ ‘ve tidied everythin’ away upstairs” She whispered, dumping the bag at her brothers feet and planting her hands firmly on her hips. Her voice held no emotion whatsoever. I’d never heard her so monotone, so sombre. “Jus’ need to sort out down here, an’ the living rooms a bit o’ a state but…. Officer Patterson came, ‘e‘s the nice one, ye know…kinda chubby, balding…reminds ye a little bit of…”

“Dad” Jake choked, nodding his head slowly. “ ‘e’s like…”

“ ‘e said Mum should be home by dinner, but Bill, e’s…Oliver” A faint smile spread across her lips as she glanced up at me, noticing my presence for the first time.

I shrugged awkwardly, and held my arms out toward her.Her eyes were bloodshot, but still the most beautiful I’d ever seen. She couldn’t keep her smile from spreading to them, and her cheeks flushed pink, briefly, as she edged , slowly, toward me.

Within a second, she threw all her hesitance to the wind, and threw herself, into my arms.
Her hands clawing desperately at my back, and her tears soaking, instantly, through my shirt

“I love you” I whispered into her hair as her sobs became uncontrollable. “A’ways ‘av, A’ways will Verity”