I Don't Want It, I Just Need It.

“A’right Miss Vee”

She nodded toward me silently as she stumbled out into the garden; an unlit roll up hanging precariously in the corner of her mouth, her hand rummaging deep into the bag tossed over her shoulder. Searching for a lighter I could only assume.

A smile tugged at the corners of her lips as she retrieved something from the front pocket, raising it high in the air to peer at it in the moonlight and doing a little celebratory dance as she recognised the small zippo between her fingers.

“D’ I not even get a ‘ello anymo…”

“Hello, Oliver” She sighed, placing the flame to the end of her cigarette and taking a long deep drag. Her eyes almost rolling back into her head as the nicotine overcame her. A wide, dozy smile spreading across her smudged pink lips as she exhaled slowly. “Y’like starin’ don’ye”

I coughed and spluttered on the beer I’d been sipping, my eyes narrowing toward her as she giggled to herself. “What d’ye…”

“ ‘Avin a good night?” She interrupted, changing the subject before I could protest. I figure she was saving the both of us from my lame excuse. A habit of hers, I’d come to realise.
I shrugged and placed my cold beer bottle to my lips, taking another, more timid sip. “Same people, same shit eh?”

I smiled and nodded, resting back against the wall, closing my eyes for the briefest moment.
“ ‘s Sheffield” I sighed, “What can I…”

I opened my eyes to see Verity’s face mere inches from my own; a sweet, sickly smell tickling my nostrils, forcing me to do so. “D’ye fancy livenin’ it up a little bit?”

I could feel the guilty smile creeping across my lips as she exhaled thick white smoke into my face. Just as I’d thought.

“ What d’ye ‘av in mind?” I asked, moving my hands from my sides to her hips. Smirking to myself as she flinched at the cold beer bottle against her skin. She shrugged without a word, taking another sharp drag on the blunt pursed between her lips. “Other than the…”

My words got caught in my throat as she moved to her tip toes and smashed her lips against mine, her tongue brushing them for a second or two before I felt smoke pushing its way into my mouth.

I stifled a cough as she pulled away, taking a large gulp that I instantly regretted.
Her laughter rang loud in my ears as my eyes watered furiously and my throat burnt.
“ ‘s not funny” I choked, slapping my balled fist against my chest, bending at my knees. “Ye can’ just kiss a guy and…”

“Wasn’ a kiss Oliver” She smirked, taking another toke as I continued to make a fuss. “Am not allowed to kiss ye, remember…Jake said e’ad cut ye balls off”

I laughed softly, wincing as a dull pain shot across my chest.

“Seriously, are ye alrigh’?”

I nodded and straightened up. My eyes meeting hers; big, brown and looking surprisingly concerned. A small smile spread across her lips and she nodded in agreement. “Good”

I watched as she took one last toke on her blunt, waving it in my face half heartedly before throwing it to the ground and stamping it out with her leopard print pump. “Ye should head back inside” She sighed, glancing around the garden. “ ’S been sat alone fer’ twenty…”

“She’s drivin me men’al” I mumbled, “Only good fer one thing I thin…”

“When will ye learn Oliver?”

“When will Jake let me take ye ou…”

“I need to get back inside” She interrupted quickly, cocking her head back. “ ‘m not off the clock yet”

“When ye are let me drive ye…”

“Oliver” She smirked, with a slight roll of her eyes. “Ye don’ wanna keep ‘er waitin. Ye’ve probably got a load to talk about’”

“ ‘er names Jess” I retorted as she turned to head back inside. Annoyed that she’d called me out once again. “ an’ shes a gymnas…”

“G’night Oliver”

&&

My eyes had been fixed, relentlessly, on the heavy doors of The Oak for what seems like hours. The long line of empty beer bottles at my feet marking the minutes. I’d watched all of the punters flood out, all of the regulars stumble out a little later. And now, I was searching for the familiar teal green coat, the leopard print pumps. The subtle wiggle of the hips and the swishing of the hair.

I groaned loudly as my phone began to ring in my pocket, cursing whoever it was under my breath as I shoved my hand deep into my jeans.
“and distance lays her heavy head beside me. There I’ll stay gold, forever gold’

I couldn’t help but whisper along to ‘concubine’; struggling to remember who I’d assigned the tone to.

“ ‘Ello?” I mumbled, finally prising the phone from my tight jeans.

“Oliver”

My whole body tensed at the sound of her voice, my heart beat quickening to what I imagined to be dangerous speeds. “Verity”

“Go ‘ome”

I smiled awkwardly and ran a hand through my hair; glancing up toward the pub, toward the bright light of the window to the far right. “Ye can’t walk ‘ome on ye own” I argued, “I’ll give ye a…”

I sighed loudly as the dial tone rang loudly in my ears. Slumping back against my car and closing my eyes as I tilted my head towards the sky. Why did I want her so bad? And more, why didn’t she want me? I was Oli Sykes, the Oli Sykes. But to her, what was I? Oliver?
What or who the fuck was Oliver?

“Come on then”

I jumped from my skin, catching my hip awkwardly on the wing mirror of my car as I swayed drunkenly sideways. “Fuck” I cursed, rubbing my side furiously. My face scrunched up in pain. “Fuck fuck fu…”

“You’re trouble you”

I smiled weakly as Verity grabbed my arm, replacing my hand with hers and rubbing my skin gently. Her fingers making my skin tingle, sending goose pimples all over my body.

“Let’s get ye ‘ome before ye do anymore damage”

I let her drag me from the car door where I‘d slumped,. Receiving a roll of her eyes as I smirked broadly, her hand making its way deep into my jean pocket in search of my keys.
“Ye don’ make this easy, do ye Sykes”

I shook my head and wrapped my arms tight around her, pulling her into my chest.

“Neither do you Vee” I sighed into her hair, “D’ye have any idea ‘ow much I…”

“Bingo”

I chuckled as she pulled the ninja turtles key chain from my pocket. Stopping the instant her hand rested at the rim of my jeans, our eyes meeting each others in the strange, hazy yellow light of the streetlamp over head. Her hand, our eyes, lingered longer than we both knew I could handle.

“Ye make this so ‘ard Verity”

“This?” She smirked, “Or you?