Playing Russian Roulette.

Can we bring yesterday back around?
Because I know how I feel about you now.
I was dumb, I was wrong, I let you down
But I know how I feel about you now.

-Miranda Cosgrove.

“We are very sorry for the technical difficulties, ladies and gentleman, but this show will have to be delayed. Everything will be back in about an hour. So go off and be back for Valencia’s set in sixty, I repeat, sixty minutes. Thank you everyone!”

I slowly turned to peer at Devin, my gaze meeting the shining camera lens. My mouth gaped as a chorus of ‘boos’ erupted from the audience behind us. My own sorrowful sound escaped my throat and I spun to Gabrielle.

Her mouth was hanging open as well.

“What? What do we do now?” I whispered. I was unable to keep my disappointment from my voice. I had been looking forward to Valencia! To getting to talk to the lead singer after the set. But, ah! The machines and monitors and whatnot wouldn’t work.

Someone said it was a short circuit due to a small storm the night before. In the middle of Black Tide’s last song, the microphones stopped working, faded in and out, but they continued through. Valencia’s first song, however, didn’t work so well.

The guitar speakers were silent. Shane Henderson’s microphone stopped three phrases into Where Did You Go?. That was when techs and tour managers stepped in to stop the concert and work on everything. Now Gabrielle, Devin, and I had nothing to do…

We planned on spending the day watching all the sets together and recording random videos for Buzznet, because the behind-the-scenes were the most popular…and Rachel ordered us to, but that was beside the point.

I adjusted my Buzznet pass, pushing the knot holding it together around until it was at the back of my neck. I tightened my ponytail. Gabrielle pushed away from the railing separating the stage and the audience.

“What do you two want to do? I really need time away from Craig and his flirtatious attitude.” She scowled, stuffing her left hand in her miniskirt pocket. “We should go do something! I’m tired of being surrounded by…dickheads!”

I stood upright from my leaning position against the rail. “It’s only been four days, Gab. We still have two entire months to go.”

“I know!” Gabrielle cried. “Which is why we will be spending more and more time together, Jules. We need to make dates on some of their days, or watch all the sets together. Something to get away from guys.”

I wanted to argue. One of those ‘dickheads’ she spoke of was Max, and, as far as I was concerned, I had no proof that he was still a dickhead. She should keep her thoughts to herself before our small amount of friendship was shattered.

The breaking point was already growing near thanks to the annoying make out comment in Ventura. It had also annoyed Max. He refused to even look at her through the passed two cities.

I walked away from Gabrielle and Devin, heading directly toward the end of the metal railing. I planted the palm of my hand on the hot steel and flipped myself over it, landing gracefully on my feet on the other side.

I turned; they were on my heels, copying my movement and finally coming to stand beside me in the side lot next to the wide outside venue.

“What are you we going to do?” Gabrielle asked, poking me in the ribs with her elbow.

I put a wide girth between her and myself so she couldn’t touch me again. “I don’t know. You and Devin decide. All I demand is something to drink. Maybe a smoothie… Yum. Is there a smoothie shop around here?” I glanced over my shoulder.

If I wasn’t mistaken, Devin and Stefan had gone to San Antonio for their second anniversary. Hopefully Devin knew the way around the city because I was absolutely clueless.

“The river walk down the street!” Devin cried. He bounced up and down, grinning from ear to ear. “The San Antonio river walk! There’s a smoothie shop along that. And it’s gorgeous.”

Gabrielle grinned at the camera. “Then that is where we will go!”

I shrugged my shoulders. “That sounds nice.” Though I would much rather spend time with the boys. Maybe I could decline…

But the enthusiastic smile on Devin’s face told me I couldn’t. He wanted me to come, and I very well could not let him go alone with Gabrielle.

And the boys couldn’t come along. Gabrielle was only going with Devin and me because she wanted to get away from them. Not have them follow us around like shadows.

I grimaced. Being there with Devin would be a blast. But Gabrielle… hadn’t quite won my heart over as a friend yet. And I couldn’t say that I was comfortable with how she bad talked the boys whenever she had enough of their mannish behavior.

How the hell did she want them to act? They were boys! Sex and breasts and drinks and rocking were their lives. Things weren’t going to change just because she whined like a baby.

I crossed my arms over my chest. We turned around the back corner of the stage and the wide band parking side lot came into view. Escape the Fate’s tour bus and our RV were parked beside each other up front.

Both buses doors were open. Stefan stood in front of ours, Ghost tugging at the leash in his hand. Max leaned against his tour bus in front of him.

I pressed my lips together and bit down.

We honestly hadn’t spoken since the Josh incident two days ago. We said little snippets: hello, goodbye, sorry when we accidentally bumped into each other. Those accidents were becoming more and more frequent each day and they were causing me more and more inappropriate thoughts.

Nonetheless, we had yet to hold a decent conversation. Yes, I wanted to. I craved hearing his voice say my name again. But I didn’t have the heart to do it. I couldn’t force myself.

Whenever I came close to doing it, I thought of his mean words and pictures of Ronnie popped in my head. I loved Ronnie! He wouldn’t want me speaking to someone who treated me like shit. I could hear his betrayed words, see his anger stricken face.

I did not want to do that to Ronnie.

Although it would do him fucking right.

“Hey!” Stefan greeted. “What are you two doing back so soon?”

“Technical difficulties,” I answered, leaning against the tour bus beside Max. “They delayed the Valencia set for an hour.”

Devin disappeared into our RV, calling something about getting more memory cards and batteries over his shoulder.

Gabrielle did a quick jig as she walked up the steps of the tour bus. “We’re going to the river walk to pass the time.”

I peeked around the corner and up into the entrance. She wasn’t in view. I heard her say something to Craig, and I turned back to both Max and Stefan staring at me.

I smiled sheepishly. “I don’t want to go,” I whispered. “Gabrielle’s going to bitch the entire time and I don’t want to listen to it.”

“Bitching about us?” Max guessed.

I nodded. “Yeah. How did you know?”

“That’s all she fuckin’ does.” Max flashed a beautiful grin at me. My heart skipped; I pretended to be interested in the skull ring on my thumb.

“And no one will say anything? To make her stop?” I murmured.

“Nope.” Max shifted. His shoulder touched mine. “Because of Craig.”

Oh. Of course. I looked at Ghost. He was standing beside Max’s leg, staring up at him with wide, adoring eyes. I giggled.

“You know, Max and I could always come with you,” Stefan offered.

“No, you can’t. She only wants Devin and me because she’s tired of the boys talking about guy things and flirting with everything that moves. Says she needs to spend a few hours away from them.” I raised my head and looked at Max. “But I want to be spend a few hours with you guys.”

“Then we’ll follow you,” Max said, smirking. “You’ll know we’re there and she will be clueless. Besides, I don’t want you along with that Torrent guy walking around.”

I froze. That Torrent guy. He had slipped my thoughts. He had been at the shows since Ventura, but he didn’t approach me. The times I spotted him, however, I was flanked by one or all of the boys.

This time I would only be with Gabrielle and Devin. A blonde girl and a gay guy. They provided no sense of safety. Protecting them would fall upon me.

“Can you?” I asked desperately. “I don’t want to run into Josh by myself. He’s--he’s not above hurting girls--”

“But he won’t dare mess with someone his own size,” Max sneered, anger dripping from every syllable. “The sick coward. Has to get his kicks out of messing with helpless chicks. Fucking pisses me off.”

Did Max not know who Josh was or what he sold? He’s not who you think he is. I could have sworn he said that while trying to prevent me from going with Josh. But then why was he acting like he was an acquaintance who liked to beat on girls.

By the look on Stefan’s face, he was thinking the same thing. His eyes were wide. I shook my head quickly, telling him to shut up and go along with it.

“So we’ll follow you!” Stefan said. “Will that make you feel better?”

Max and I glanced at each other. “I’ll make me feel safer.” You make me feel safer.

“Then we’ll follow close behind,” he responded.

“But not too close--”

“Damn, it took me forever to find my extra memory cards,” Devin complained, walking out of the RV, fumbling with his camera. “Who decided it was funny to stick them in the passenger seat up front? Well, it wasn’t funny at all.”

He swept his gaze over us, stopping on Max and me. He pressed a button and pointed the camera at us.

“Don’t you two look cozy?” he teased.

We did. We had slumped against each other, our shoulders pressed together, our hips almost touching. I veered around to look up into the tour bus to keep my scarlet cheeks out of view from Devin and Max and the stalking camera.

“Gabrielle!” I called out. “Are you ready yet?”

She stepped into view, her bag on her shoulder, Leila on her hip. She stomped down the stairs and onto the cement beside me. “Looks like I have to take Leila along. I hope you don’t mind.”

“No! We don’t mind.” Devin waved his hand around. “We love baby Leila!”

“Hey, Leila,” Max acknowledged, nodding once.

“Max!” Leila jiggled around. “Maxie, Maxie!”

Max laughed and stole the toddler from Gabrielle’s arms. She planted a kiss on his cheek, and he quickly returned it.

I gritted my teeth together. How badly I wanted those lips to kiss my cheek like that.

“Gabby, I can watch Jellybean if Craig is busy.”

My mouth turned into an ‘o’ of surprise. Max baby-sit? My heart soared. Change, change, change! Every moment he proved me wrong in a new way. He was not the same prick.

Gabrielle linked arms with me, grinning. “Bye then!” With a violent yank that made me stumble forward, she started toward the front sidewalk. Devin headed up our group in the back, fumbling with his camera again and cursing loudly.

We pushed through a horde of departing Warped guests and emerged out onto the crowded sidewalk. Gabrielle quickened her pace, jogging down the walkway instead of walking, and lugged me around a corner. She stopped at the top of a large flight of cement steps.

I heard running water and loud laughter. I pulled my arm away from Gabrielle and peered over the side. A small strip of river ran down the middle, winding as far as I could see on either side. A tall footbridge suspended over it. On the opposite side sat rows of stores and restaurants filled with people. Small trees lined both sides in various places, as well as little flowers and shrubs.

Something that sounded like a waterfall was somewhere close by, but I couldn’t see anything to trace the source.

“The river walk is down here,” I pointed out. “It‘s very pretty! Did you bring you digital camera, Dev?”

He whipped out the silver device from his pocket and handed it to me. I turned it on and snapped a picture of the view as Devin turned on the video camera again. He aimed it toward Gabrielle and myself.

“Girls, tell everyone what you’re doing,” he said.

“Valencia’s set has been delayed an hour, so we are going to pass time by walking around the beautiful San Antonio River Walk,” I explained, tucking the camera in the palm of my hand.

“Piper is bummed about the delay.” Gabrielle began down the steps. I followed behind, Devin on my heels.

“I am!” I cried. “I was going to talk to Shane Henderson after the show! And I like Valencia’s music. It’s beautiful and relatable. Where Did You Go is one of my favorite songs.”

Gabrielle laughed, moving around a corner. We descended down a second set of stairs, then a third, finally making it down to the river walk.

I took another picture of the water and the footbridge. It was pretty and people were all around. Which meant Josh wouldn’t be caught dead trying to bother us. Too many witnesses, too many guys much larger than himself.

And Max and Stefan were behind us somewhere, unless they had changed their minds.

I ran my sweaty palm over my capris.

Worry rushed through me. They had to be following us! I hardly felt safe without them!

I stole a glance over my shoulder. They weren’t behind us and the steps were empty. If they were following us, they must have been doing so at a distance. A wide distance.

“Are you okay, Jules?” Gabrielle wrapped an arm around my shoulders.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Why?”

She pulled me over the high footbridge. “You looked upset.”

“Oh.” I shook my head, smiling. “I was just thinking… about… stuff. Don’t worry about it.”

We passed onto the opposite side. My eyes landed on a cute little shop that read “Smoothie Café” on the front windows. I pointed at it quickly, cheering. I drug Gabrielle to the tiny shop and raised my hands in the air.

Gabrielle looked at the menu taped to the window. She made a thoughtful sound.

“The strawberry banana is always a good choice,” she murmured.

“I want the sweetest possible thing on here,” I proclaimed, running my gaze across the brightly colored paper. “Wow… the fuck do you think that is?”

Devin laughed. “Juliet wants sugar!”

“Hell yes I do! I have a sweet tooth.” I did a little dance in the camera’s line of view. “So, boys! If you want to steal my heart, give me sweets. You can have me at that point!”

Gabrielle stepped beside me. “Are you watching this, Max?! Because if you are, here’s your chance! Give her chocolate!”

I gasped and pushed her playfully away. She giggled and flared her hands and arms at me. I struck back, making sure not to actually touch her.

Devin intervened and yanked us apart like we were battling toddlers. He nodded toward the white table out front. “You two sit down. I’ll go in and order for you.” He pressed something on his camera, then something else.

Gabrielle and I sat down in two of the three chairs. Devin set the camera down on the napkin dispenser, pointing it at us. I wondered if it was recording, but let it go.

“Now, what would you two like?” he asked.

“Surprise me,” I answered. “But it has to be sweet. Sweet!”

“Strawberry banana.”

“I will be right back, my loves.” Devin placed a kiss on each of our cheeks and entered the store swiftly.

Gabrielle rested her elbows on the table. I leaned comfortably into the back of my metal chair and stared at the tabletop.

Hey, I can watch Jellybean if Craig is busy.

I tugged at my bottom lip with my teeth. Max’s face floated into my head, a picture of him from earlier. His red and black shirt clinging to his torso; his tight pants hanging low on his hips; his silver belt buckle begging for my eyes to lower themselves south.

A smile formed on my mouth. How I wanted to lower my eyes and see him naked… and quite possibly soaking wet. I could picture it, steam swirling around us, his damp hair sticking to his face and cheeks, his hands planted firmly on my slick waist, my back pressed against the shower wall.

I could hear him whispering my name as I echoed his own, as I dug my nails into his back and cried out in indescribable pleasure.

“You’re doing it again,” Gabrielle nudged me. The fantasy disappeared as fast it had come. “Daydreaming or thinking. Are you sure you’re okay? You look upset or something.”

“I’m not upset. Just--just thinking.” I breathed deeply and fanned my face with my hand.

“About what?” Gabrielle rested her chin in her hand. Her gaze looked at me expectantly. “About… Maxwell, maybe?”

I became very still. I glanced at her, shock -- and embarrassment -- written across my face. She laughed.

“You obviously like him! Only someone blind, deaf, and dumb couldn’t see it!” she exclaimed. “You drool at him, you get the weirdest look on your face when he looks at you. And when he talks to you or touches you! You look like you’re about to throw up or pass out.”

“You’re the only one that notices. Well, besides Stefan and Devin,” I groaned. “I adore Max, Gabby. But at the same time I absolutely hate him, and he hates me right back.”

“Why’s that?”

I made eye contact with her. Could I trust her enough to tell the truth of what happened that night? Did I want to? She looked like she sincerely wanted to know what was bothering me. She was my best bet because I most certainly would not be telling one of the boys.

I shuddered at the thought. If they knew Max and I kissed, we would never live it down. They already though I should have dated Max instead of Ronnie. I didn’t want to encourage their teasing.

“You can’t tell a fucking soul,” I murmured, leaning close.

“I won’t.”

I took another deep breath. “I met Max through Ronnie about four years ago. I have always thought he was cute, but he was never nice to me. He called me names and made fun of me and I developed a hatred toward him because of it. I hated him. He made life hell, but I also hated myself for still adoring him.

Then a year ago, he… he kissed me. Right on the lips, out of nowhere. Then that turned into a huge fight because he tried to run away. I punched him, told him I hated him, and we haven’t spoken since. And, yeah…”

Gabrielle raised her eyebrows. She didn’t say a word, only stared at me with wide, disbelieving eyes. I shifted under her gaze, yanking at my Buzznet pass. Finally, she took a breath and sat up straight.

“Who else know this?”

“Only Stefan and Max. Not even Devin knows,” I whispered. “I… can’t tell anyone. I feel weird talking about it! I mean, how much of a stupid bimbo would I be if I liked a person who hated me and treated me like shit?”

“But… you’re dating that Ronnie guy! Wasn’t he abusive to you?”

I shot her a look of murderous proportions. She shut her mouth immediately, casting her gaze elsewhere. Be nice, be nice! It wasn’t like it was a false accusation, Juliet! Ronnie is that type of guy and everyone knows it.

I knew she was right, but Ronnie was still the boyfriend I vaguely loved. She had no room to speak of him -- or the boys! -- that way!

The sound of a loud beeping pulled me from my angry rampage. I reached into my purse and snatched my cell phone from inside the side pocket.

Where did you guys go? It was from Stefan. I quickly typed a response. On the river walk, babe. Where are you two?

We passed by the river walk a few minutes ago. We’ll be right there! Love you! came the response.

I stuffed it back in its rightful place in my purse. Gabrielle heaved a heavy sigh, shaking her head, making me glance at her.

“I guess we’re in the same boat, huh? Both in love with people we shouldn’t be,” she said solemnly. “And there is nothing we can do about it.”

I made a wild guess that she was talking about Craig.

“You’re right. Looks like we’ll have to suffer through together.” I laughed, running my fingers through my dangling ponytail. “You might have to stop me from killing Max. Especially if he flirts with anyone else.”

“The same for me.”

Devin came out of the shop, then, ceasing our conversation. He plopped down beside us and handed us our individual smoothies before taking a long sip of his own. I sipped mine; I had no idea what flavor it was, but he had gotten the sweet request down pretty good.

I cringed as I swallowed it.

Gabrielle struck up a conversation about Stefan and Devin’s anniversary visit to San Antonio. Devin jumped on telling her every amazing thing they did.

I decided to stay quiet and try to conjure up the sexy, steamy fantasy from before, but all I drew were little pictures and snippets from it. With a sigh of a disappointment, I glanced over my shoulder to see if Max and Stefan were visible yet.

But they weren’t.

I turned in my chair so I could see the steps better. I listened to Gabrielle and Devin talk and gush over anniversaries and love and sipped my smoothie quietly, laughing and nodding at the appropriate moments.

The urge to keep checking for Max and Stefan poked in my head. I fought it for a few minutes, seeing the naked pictures of Max again, before the urge overpowered me and I turned my head.

The second glance toward the stairs provided something else. Josh was at the bottom of the steps, his hands jammed in his pockets, surveying the area. He had a Havoc pass around his neck.

I cursed loudly. Devin and Gabrielle looked over in surprise.

“Jay?” Devin muttered.

“Josh is here,” I breathed, shielding my face with my hand. “We… we need to… we need. Can we leave? Is there another way off the river walk?”

Devin shook his head left and right. “Only those stairs, as far as I know.” He sipped his smoothie nonchalantly and I had a terrible itch to scream and throw things. This was not a blasé situation! Josh would be pissed about all of it, especially if he managed to get another hit of God-only-knows what!

I dug my nails into my thigh and frantically looked around. There were bars everywhere; we could dive into one and hide out until he was gone and then flee back to the venue. But, when I looked up, he saw me and flashed a grin that made my skin crawl.

Gabrielle looked to the steps. I heard her gasp, as if she were just now understanding the severity of the condition. Or maybe the look on his face scared her just as much as it did me.

My stomach did a flip. I couldn’t let Devin and Gabrielle get missed up in any of it. They had no part in the ensuing fight. I pushed away from the table. “You two stay here. Let me deal with him. And if--if something happens--” I stopped.

Nothing would happen! Josh might be a shady streetwalker, but a murderer he was not. The worst I would endure would be a black eye or a few bruises. Nothing terrible.

Devin opened his mouth to protest. I raised my hand, cutting him off.

“What if something happens?” Gabrielle hissed, gripping my wrist.

“Shut up!” Devin snapped. “Nothing will happen.”

“But if it does,” I interrupted, “please tell Max everything I told you. I’ll be back in a few minutes.” I stepped away from the table and started back across the footbridge. Josh trudged across it as well, meeting me in the middle.

I leaned against the low wall, crossing my arms over my chest. I didn’t look at him; simply regarded him with a nod and looked at the steps.

Still no sign of Stefan or Max.

I forced myself to meet his gaze.

“What are you doing here? Again?” I demanded. “Why do you keep following me like this? You’re stalking me and I am not comfortable being around you.”

“You seemed interested in these yesterday.” Josh pulled a medicine bottle from his pocket. He seemed a lot calmer than before, more relaxed, the tic in his eye gone. The bottle of brightly colored pills was only half full. Has he been dipping into his stash?

I stared at the pills for a moment. “I told you I don’t do that anymore.” Pain shot through me. I wanted that damned bottle so badly! “Please put them away.”

Josh let out a single, short laugh. “I thought you went through rehab for these. And it was expensive rehab, Spencers’ Recovery Center. Isn’t that the best in Vegas?” His words were soft and smooth, silky. “And you can’t even look at them. Sounds like your Daddy wasted his money.”

Familiar anger bubbled in my chest. My hands curled into tight fists. The worry I previously felt flew from my body. I didn’t need Max and Stefan to make me feel safe at this point. My raw nerves were enough for me to defend myself.

What a bastard he was.

“My father didn’t for my rehab, I did. The money was not wasted. I did get over that shit, but seeing it makes me relapse.”

Josh laughed again, unscrewing the top. He tipped it into his hand and held out a round purple pill with a butterfly on the top. I swallowed hard.

“Please put it away,” I begged.

“Why? You’re over them. It won’t do any harm.” He ran it beneath my nose. It’s strange scent went up my nose; my mouth watered. “Unless you want to buy it. I still need money, Oaks, and I’m about to burn through everything. C’mon.”

I ripped it from his hand and spun on my heel, rearing my arm back. I pretended to throw it into the water. But I didn’t. I tucked it in my fist and turned back to Josh. His mouth hung open.

I stuffed the pill into my back pocket. Josh didn’t notice.

“Put them away,” I ordered, “before the rest of the bottle joins it.”

He obeyed, but he wasn’t done with me. He got inches from my face. His breath cascaded over my cheeks. My stomach rolled with nausea.

“Get away,” I muttered, pushing him away. “You need to find another customer, Josh. I’m not buying anything.” The pill felt like it was burning a hole in my back pocket.

“And you need to find a new boyfriend.” His hands grabbed my hips. Every bit of strength, drained from my body.

“What are you talking about?”

Josh released me at the sound of the voice. My knees sagged. I thought I was going to collapse, but Max slid his arm around my waist and I gripped his shirt, desperate not to faint and act like the token damsel in distress.

I rested my head on his shoulder, closing my eyes. He still smelled like Axe.

“What are you talking about?” Josh echoed.

“What am I talking about? I’m saying you should run along before I beat your ass,” Max answered. “No one touches my girl but me.”

I snapped my head up. He was smiling, and I didn’t say a word of argument. Leila sat in silence on his other hip. She smiled when I glanced at her.

“You’re dating Piper now?” Josh chuckled. “Wow. Dump Ronnie for Green. Classy, Oakes! Real nice!”

Ha! So they did know each other.

“Can’t say I blame her. I’m pretty awesome compared to Ronnie.” Max rocked back on the balls of his heels. He sounded so confident, sure of himself. “And sex with someone sober is always better.”

Apparently something in that sentence had a meaning I was oblivious to. It struck a nerve and Josh stomped back across the foot bridge and up the steps out of view. Max glanced down at my shocked face, a smirk written on his lips.

I frowned. “I need a shower. That was really nasty, ew.” I wiped the hips of my and shorts off, hoping it would somehow rid them of nonexistent germs. “I need to change clothes before the Valencia set…”

“Why? You look great just like that.” Max pulled his arm away from my waist. As soon as it was gone, I longed to have it back.

“Because God only knows what he had on his fucking hands.” I shuddered and he smiled. I rolled my eyes. “Hey! Does anyone know what time it is?”

X X X X

No one touches my girl but me.

The grip I held on the bathroom counter tightened to almost bone breaking strength. My knuckles were white, my nails bent backward against the marble, but I ignored the pain. My focus, my thoughts, were on something else, something that meant life and death, love and heartbreak.

The MDMA pill stared up at me from the counter. It was right there within my grip. All it took was a split second to swallow and I could forget about my problems. That happy place it sent me to had none of the issues I faced. No Ronnie and heartache; no worry of Josh hurting me; no Max…

No Max!

That world had no Max Green.

I pushed away from the counter. Through my feet remained firmly on the ground, the room spun. I sat down on the closed toilet lid and drew my legs to my chest. I rested my head atop my knee.

Did I want a world where Max wasn’t around to hinder my breathing and all coherent thoughts? Where his beautiful eyes and smile weren’t anywhere to be seen? That high world suddenly paled against my strange reality where all my friends existed.

And where I adored Max…

I gave the pill another glance.

If I took it, I would let everyone down. Devin and Stefan, my best friends. Max, my symbol infatuation. Bryan, Craig, and Robert, my life lines.

How could I do that? How could I sink to Ronnie and Josh’s level?

I couldn’t.

And I wouldn’t.

Most prominent of those people was Max. I pictured him from earlier, the smile as he was defending me, how happy he sounded when he called me ‘his girl’. And how thrilled it made me feel! I would love to be called that forever.

Max’s girl. My girl. Max’s girlfriend.

I smiled.

That answered so many questions.

I loved Max. I was in love with him; it went beyond adoration.

I lifted the pill from the counter. My gaze locked on the small object for a few moments. The cravings kicked in; I wanted it so badly.

But I couldn’t!

My girl. You look great just like that.

I lifted the toilet lid and dropped it into the bowl. With little resistance, I pressed down the plunger and watched it spiral away, a smile on my lips.

I had no desire to jeopardize the beginning of something beautiful.