Do It By Hand

2 days of sun, water, and amazing food. And I was ready to go back home. Although today I could just spend the day recuperating, since Conor was goofing around in the studio. I had gone to the market, and store to get supplies for dinner. I was told that it was going to rain, hence the main why I went to the store. As I had gotten my shopping finished, there were a few dark clouds cluttering up in the sky. My phone, decided to have service and started to ring. I looked at the I.D., it was Gordan.

"Heller?" I said imitating Madea, Gordan snickered.

"So, how's your liaison going?" he asked, I heard the grin in his voice.

"First of all, it's not a liaison. Second of all, it's nice I've been out in the sun for 2 days. I'm pretty sure I've gained 15 pounds." I laughed sitting up in the bed.

"Is it hot there?"

"Yes, but the nights are cool." I sighed.

"I kind of wish had said nerfs to work and went with you guys." he sighed, I almost felt bad for going anyway.

"Hmm, today would have been a nice day to have you here. He's in the studio, or recording box rather." I laughed. Conor had showed me where he recorded the last album. It was just a room, more room for inspiration he claimed.

"So, have you guys...you know?" he asked.

"Have we what?" I asked, knowing full well what he meant.

"Oh, you're going to make me say it aren't you?" he whined.

"No Gordan, we have not had heterosexual intercourse." I stated,

"Ew." I laughed at his tone.

"Not every straight guy is like the gay guys you meet."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"They don't all want sex you ninny." I chuckled getting up to open the curtains.

"They want it if they bring a girl all the way to Mexico. And if there's only one bed in the room they're staying in for a week."

"Oh, hush. He's only kissed me."

"Where?" I knew it was coming.

"On the lips." I muttered,

"And?"

"My chest." I said inaudibly, hoping that he hadn't understood.

"Like your boobs?" he had understood. Of course he understood, he was my best friend.

"Yes. My boobs."

"Like the nipple?"

"Gordan!"

"Did he bite or suck?"

"Gordan."

"I'm just saying. If he knows what he's doing, then you should fuck him."

"Gordan."

"What?"

"That is not the point, we aren't even that far in our relationship. If you can even call it that." I sighed sitting in the chair by the window, it looked like rain was coming. The sky was a light purple, making it hard not to stare in amazement.

"The dude brought you to Mexico for a week!" Gordan shouted, I heard footsteps outside the door.

"So, maybe he's just trying to get to know me." I reasoned, glancing at the door.

"In certain ways." the door started to giggle like someone was unlocking it.

"I've got to go." I laughed.

"Well call me when you see what I'm talking about."

"Shut up." I hung up quickly as Conor came in. He was wet, dripping to be exact. He was panting, he must have ran.

"It's raining." he panted.

"I see." I bit my lip to hide my smile.

"It's not funny." he smirked looking at me, and starting to peel his shirt off.

"Of course not." I stated, putting my hand up to my mouth to further hide my mirth.

"Uh huh." he muttered still smirking as he continued to peel off the rest of his clothes. My phone began to ring again, I looked at the I.D. and it was my house.

"Hello." I laughed into the phone.

"How's the weather?" my mother asked smartly.

"It's raining, and the sky is purple." I laughed as Conor struggled with his jeans.

"What's funny?"

"Conor got stuck in the rain."

"Ya'll are in the same room?"

"No." I lied.

"Oh OK, well I was just checking on you."

"Thanks."

"Call me later."

"Love you." I smiled, glancing at Conor was still struggling with his jeans.

"Love you too babe." we hung up. I turned to Conor who was out of breath.

"Can you help me?" he pleaded. He looked cute, wet, and in need of assistance. So I helped him peel his jeans off.

"How'd you do that so easily." he murmured, stepping closer to me.

"Practice." I gulped.

"Oh really?" he asked closing the space between us.

"Yeah." I held my breath as his hand reached up. I thought he was going to touch my face or kiss me. But he reached behind me, and grabbed a dry shirt off the wall.

"What do you want to do for dinner?" he asked as I let my breath out I'd been holding.

"I can cook." I stated, I had gone to the store earlier while he was gone.

"That's sounds nice." he smirked as he put on some flannel pants and began to dry his hair. I went to the fridge where I had stored the food. I had marinated meat in there, I cursed to myself realizing that Conor didn't eat meat. He came up behind me wrapping his arms around my waist.

"I made pork." I sighed turning to face him. He shrugged, as I closed the door.

"I'll just have you then." he murmured pecking my lips.

"Or, I could make just veggies?" I laughed as he continued to place little kisses on my lips, and moved down to my neck.

"I'd rather have neck bones." he murmured as he nipped at my neck. I sucked in a breath as pushed me up against the fridge. His lips connected back with mine, his tongue sliding in my mouth. Making me flustered, and making it hard to push him away. The rain outside came down harder, and a crack of thunder soon rang. And our lights went out. That didn't faze Conor, he just moved us towards the bed. Laying down with me cradled to him, I tried to weigh the out comes. If I let him or if I didn't. If I let him, he'd have a hold over me. If I didn't, I'd have a hold over him. Until he found someone who would let him.

"Lola?" he breathed I couldn't see his expression, but his voice was gentle.

"Huh?" I said trying to push the urge completely out of my head. Easier said than done.

"If you're not ready it's fine." he said laying down next to me to where we were facing each other. Keeping his arms wrapped around me. I let out a heavy sigh, I wasn't ready, there just wasn't enough there. Call it playing hard to get, but he was Conor Oberst after all.
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I smiled when I awoke and saw Conor still next to me. He was asleep still, his arms wrapped around me. The conversation with Gordan ran through my mind again.
"I'm just saying. If he knows what he's doing, then you should fuck him."

I watched his shoulders rise and fall as he continued to sleep, and he seemed basically harmless when watching him like this. I suppose what scared me the most is that I had been through this before with a guy. He made me feel special, and when he realized that I wasn't the type to just give it up he dumped me. It being sex, yes I was still a virgin. I wasn't ashamed of it, I was just waiting for the right guy to come along. Maybe Conor was that guy, he did seem to care for me. It was just so hard to decide. Was it so bad to want for love in a relationship? Unconditional love? It would probably help if I myself developed those feelings of unconditional love for him. I just didn't want sex to be the main factor in my feelings for Conor.

Sure plenty of people have had sex before actually getting to know the person and then realized they did actually care for each other deeply. But it was hard to tell if Conor was that type of person. Especially the way he moved around, he wasn't comfortable staying in one place too long. And I myself wouldn't be in Omaha too much longer. Then there was the hormonal side of me that said; It's Conor Oberst you silly woman. What do you expect? I sighed as I continued to watch him,

You're lucky he even paid attention to you at all. The hormonal side of my brain hissed. It weirdly sounded a lot like Gordan. I decided to go with my hormonal side for once. Remembering reading about how men liked to be woken up in certain ways. Just because I was a virgin didn't mean I was ignorant of my body and the things it could do. So I pressed myself closer Conor, making him move a little. But not enough to wake him, I bit my lip calculating my next move. I kissed him, waiting for him to subconsciously react. He did slowly, even more so as I let my hands roam shakily down his lanky body. He had shed his flannel shirt sometime during the night, and was only in his pants. I let my fingertips trace down his 'happy trail', even thinking of that made me snicker as it always did. But I still kept my cool continuing to kiss him. He seemed to wake up groaning as his grip tightened around me.

"Lola?" he mumbled in between kisses. It sounded like he was hoping he wasn't dreaming. I'd be surprised as well if I were him, as many times as we'd done this. My hands were still fumbling around near his man-parts.

"Yeah?" now that he was awake, it was hard not to get heated. He groaned again, as though he was in pain. I've read that it can be painful for a guy to get excited, and then be turned down. As I slipped my hand into his pants he sucked in a breath, it was like a hiss. I stopped, hoping I hadn't gone too far.

"Don't stop." he murmured into my neck, nipping and biting. Something I thought looked painful, but it felt wonderful with Conor. I continued to stroke, and slide his pants off he kicked them the rest of the way. He managed to put us in the position to where I was sitting in his lap. My legs were wrapped around his waist. We were panting as though we were finished, and we hadn't even done anything yet. I giggled as he placed a kiss on my collar bone, he let out a muffled laugh looking up at me grinning. He stared at me for several moments, making me nervous. I looked down noticing his erection, and looked away. Not that he could really see the blush on my skin, but it was there.

"It's OK, I won't hurt you." he smirked turing my face back to him by my chin. That was enough for me, I pushed him back on the bed. Kissing him, as his hands clutched my hips starting a rocking motion. He broke the kiss to grab something out of a little bag on the night stand. It was a condom, he handed it to me.

I looked at it, like I had never seen one before. Which was not true. What was sexier, tearing it with your teeth or hands? I decided not to embarrass myself and opened it with my hands. I had taken those sex ed. classes in high school, you know; sliding the condom over the banana? This was nothing like a banana, bananas didn't cause a hotness in my belly. Nor did I ever want to take my time wrapping one. But I did so with Conor, he sucked in another breath biting his lip. Making my confidence grow a little more, and my thoughts start to switch from hormonal to something else I couldn't quite target. But it didn't matter, through the panting, moaning, biting, and scratching something grew between Conor and I. He just stared at me for the longest time when we were done. Like he was at a loss for words. I knew I was, so we just laid there, staring at each other. I'd like to say that's how the rest of our day went. But much more happened.